It’s summer.

Translation: I’m not doing sh*t.

Actually, that’s a huge lie. Instead of lounging like I would like to be, I’m working my ass off at a menial job making minimum wage. Hours upon hours of filing, sitting in front of a super-slow, super-irritating computer and returning home to do the same (with the addition of the roommates watching endless Friends re-runs as background noise) has turned me into a bit of a mindless drone. I have felt myself becoming lazier, smellier, dumber and well, wider.

My gym shoes have collected dust by the front door, right next to at least three garbage bags full of Keystone cans, Bud Light bottles and the occasional box of Carlo. My once-amazing gym habits (3x a week, alternating between running and the elliptical) have become practically non-existent. I even have a sweet new workout mix created on my iPod, but this has still not motivated me to actually go exercise.

But, I figure that there is always a bright side to every situation. Since I can’t actually find the energy to drag myself halfway across town to the gym, I decided that I can bring the exercise to me. But, with little cash and little-to-no motivation, what can a girl do to stay in shape?

Workout DVDs: (from easiest to hardest)
[These require little to no “tools” besides comfy workout clothes, a yoga mat (mine is here) and a DVD player.]

GAIAM Yoga for Beginners –If you’ve never done a Downward Dog or Sun Saluation in your life (and you’re reading this like WTF is she talking about?), this DVD is for you. The instruction is slow, easy and will ensure that you don’t twist an ankle or pull a muscle while you’re learning the moves. Just make sure you have a DVD remote because you can’t skip around and it can get quite boring. Correction: Really boring.

Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease– What? She’s hot. And if there is any possibility my body will end up looking at all like hers (or that I’ll magically become coordinated enough to actually perform a striptease) because of this DVD, you better believe I’ll throw down some cash…that is unless Tila Tequila comes out with her own workout vids.

The Yoga Booty Ballet Series – Okay, so the name (and the “instructors” in the video) are a little weird. Alright, I’m not gonna lie, they actually creeped me out so much the first time I attempted to get my booty in yoga ballet shape, that I was tempted to turn it off. But, I “kept up” as they instructed me and I felt fabulous. I started with “Yoga Core” (the beer belly is definitely the first thing that needs to go!). It can get a little intense if you’ve been a stagnate vegetable for months like me, but overall, I think it’s a good workout.

Wii Fit –I don’t have one (or even know anyone who does), but it sounds pretty damn sweet. You can do stuff like yoga, aerobics, even strength training from the (comfort?) of this weird little electronic mat thing.

Too broke to buy stuff? Yeah, me too. Instead of dishing out the cash for the aforementioned DVDs, check out free online workout videos like these awesome ones on YouTube with model-turned-yoga instructor Tara Stiles.

Outdoors-y stuff you can do fo’ free:

Take a hike. Literally, According to this little ditty, light hiking can burn about 225 cals. Take a friend …& some mushrooms for an extra exciting adventure Just kidding. Kind of.

Take a break from tanning and chillaxing poolside and actually go swimming. Run ten laps around the pool or engage in a little water aerobics. Of, if you have the luxury of living near a beach, try body surfing. This didn’t always work out so well for me, but maybe you’ll have better luck.

Beach/backyard volleyball. Instead of hiding behind your big-ass sunglasses, flipping the pages of the latest Harper’s Bazaar or creepily admiring the toned, tanned bodies of the boys playing beach volleyball, join in. Put in the effort — you can burn up to 100 calories.

Other random/cheap ways to up your fitness level:

Walk places or park far away from the places you drive to. You’ve heard it before, but seriously. JUST DO IT.

Shop & walk the mall at least once a week. An easy way to combine your two favorite things. And by favorite, I mean one favorite and one thing that kinda sucks.

Jump rope. Make one if you can’t find your old one.

Swap workout DVDs with other chicks you know who are trying to get in shape.

Find out if there are free yoga sessions offered in your area. And take advantage when gyms near you offer “Demo” weeks and the like.

Scour your kitchen. Not only does cooking burn calories, you can substitute lifting dumbbells for lifting milk jugs, sacks of potatoes or even canned goods. Your roommates might make fun of you, but when your underarm no longer jiggles like an old woman’s when you wave (and their’s still do), who’ll be laughing then?

But perhaps the biggest problem here is not WHAT you can do, but HOW the hell you can get yourself to do it.

- Start small. But make sure to challenge yourself. If you can only complete ten minutes of a workout DVD one day, that’s okay. Just be sure to keep increasing your time and the intensity of your workouts as time goes on. This is also a great confidence builder.

- Reward yourself. Like, “Hey self, meet your workout goal for the week? Okay then. You are totally allowed to buy the Sex & the City Movie book.”

- Write stuff down. Sign up for one of those websites that allows you to track your workout progress, download a Food & Workout Diary from Marie Clare here or buy a cute little Moleskine (or one of those 99 cent things from the drugstore), cover it with inspirational quotes and you’re good to go.

- Stop reading this! All of CC’s intelligent, delicious, gorgeous, fabulous bloggers will still be here when you get back. Pop in a DVD & get your ass in gear.

[Photo courtesy of Corbis.com]