Please note that it has been almost a month since I signed up for my race. I haven’t been to the gym since that initial trip, although I was rejected from said gym when a new front desk worker didn’t even know there was a corporate gym in the building and I had left my ID at home. Instead of delving right into running, I started walking home whenever it was warm enough and I wasn’t heading to class directly from the office.

I’m failing miserably and I haven’t done anything yet.

The walking surprisingly has given me more energy, but I’ve realized that it’s not quite the same as a nice jog or run. Feeling a bit pathetic, I decided I needed to change my diet again and pretend I actually cared about eating healthy food. I traded actually running for giving up chocolate and other sweet snacky foods. I subside largely on vegetables, natural peanut butter, and whole grains. I’m not exactly a vegetarian, but for the most part I don’t really eat meat or seafood more than once or twice a month, so I’ve been trying to find healthy, creative ways to get my protein.

Natural peanut butter is my addiction, with avocados at a close second. They’re not at all the same but they’ve been a good way to get healthy fat. Also have been working on getting protein from beans, lentils, chickpeas, and the like, so I don’t make myself anemic.

I appear to rebel against organized exercise without even realizing it, and it hasn’t helped that I’ve been busier than ever at work and with homework, plus the joys of apartment shopping in Manhattan. When your day consists of running back and forth between work, school, and brokers (for whom I am convinced there is a special circle in hell, but that’s another article), I just have no desire to actually run. Now that I’ve signed my lease, I’m hoping by starting with even ten or fifteen minutes outside I’ll get inspired to keep it up.

So what now? Do I convince myself that I need this hobby more than ever because of all the extra stress? Ten-fifteen minutes at a shot a good enough start? Should I implement a personal rewards system? Any ideas are welcome.