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Breasts. Boobs. Tits. Ta Tas. Chi Chis. Fun-bags. Melons. Along with a few hundred different epithets, they come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. And thanks to the wonders of plastic surgery, there’s even more variety to be had in the size department. Just ask Sheyla Hershey, the woman who was recently denied her 9th boob job. Hershey’s dreams to move up from a FFF-cup to a GG were dashed because apparently, America, the country that has no concept of “moderation” has established a legal limit for silicone.
When I was in 8th grade, I went from flat-as-a-board to a large C in a matter of months; when I discovered binge drinking in college, my Freshman Fifteen accumulated in my breasts, and I was busting out of 36 DD bras, but refused to buy anything bigger because I felt like a freak. Over the past year, a strict cardio regimen has reduced my girls to a 34 DD, but I still long for the old days: a perky pair no bigger than a handful. That being said, why Miss Hershey would intentionally strive for the “World’s Biggest Breasts” is beyond me.
I can’t wear halter tops. Tube tops have never even been an option. Empire waists cut across the middle of my boobs, and any triangle cut will have me looking like a prostitute. To all the petite girls out there: the next time you are getting ready to go out to a bar or club, pick something out that doesn’t fall into one of these categories. More often than not, I end up feeling like a librarian when I’m surrounded by girls who can show off their shoulders, backs, and not-obscene cleavage.
My boobs are embarrassing. Once a friend developed a picture of me, and doubled over with laughter because my jugs looked ginormous in the pic. I’ve also had small children point and laugh. I worked at a restaurant with a female manager who was notorious for not buttoning her blouse all the way, and a coworker called her out on her unprofessional cleavage. Her response? “Kathryn shows off her cleavage!” Not willing to be her scapegoat, I snapped, “I could wear a turtleneck and I’d still have cleavage.” It was only funny because, sadly, it’s true.
I wish I could see what I’d look like with a more proportioned rack. I bet I’d look like I lost ten pounds, if only my upper “half” didn’t account for 75% of my body weight. I bet my lady lumps wouldn’t fly out of control on the elliptical, despite being strapped in by a sports bra and support tank. Above all, I bet I would never, ever consider going under the knife for a breast enlargement surgery. Let alone NINE surgeries. Can breasts be too big? My vote is in: YES.
[Photo courtesy of Boinkology.com]
17 Comments
As a natural 36G, I’m totally with you.
Agreed… Also, it’s so hard to find cute,lacy bras that still offer support in any cup siz larger than a C. Bra shopping is hellishly frustrating.
I would rather keep my 34A then endure NINE surgeries…I mean, seriously…who does that?
I know your pain
I totally feel your pain girl… I am 5 feet tall (short?) and have Natural 32 Ds….(not to mention hips and butt… I’m gonna have to start buying apple bottoms…) It is IMPOSSIBLE to find bras that fit me… I usually have to custom order them…and then it costs mega bucks! What I can’t understand, is if there is such a market for silicone boobies, why can’t they make cute bras for us big chested girls? If I am forced to buy ONE MORE NUDE, WHITE OR BLACK BRA I may scream… Why anyone would want such a rack is beyond me… I’d gladly give mine away and go back to a B cup any day!!
im a 34D and i agree with everything you said! sometimes i like my boobs and how i can fill out a dress but other times they are just completely in the way!
As a 32 B, I can’t wait until the day I have the money to go up a cup. But just one.
I’m a 34 B and sometimes I think mine are even to big. I couldn’t even imagine anything larger. But I love mine for the most part, all of my previous boyfriends/ partners etc. tell me they’re the “perfect perky pair” (well one guy told me that and I rolled my eyes. everyone else just says they’re perfect.
I thought I was ridiculous for absolutely detesting my 38DDs. I’m even considering breast reduction surgery, and everyone knows that ME considering SURGERY is just the end of the world. I can’t…kills my back, and my shirts! I can’t wear anything without looking seductive. Just yesterday I was looking up minimizer bras. Just…sigh.
I had the problem of being skinny and flat in middle school and always got teased because I looked like a stick. And then my sophomore year in high school-BAM! 34C boobs appeared out of nowhere. Now I love my breasts, but I only weigh 105lbs so they get a tad heavy. And it does get annoying when having a conversation with ANY guy because they can’t stop staring at your chest. Even in a t-shirt! Sometimes I wish I was just a little bit smaller, but I know there are girls that would kill for that size so I guess I just have to take it with a grain of salt and be grateful.
Wow, this post really made me appreciate my 34B boobs a lot more
I mean, I even find my boobs a bit heavy when I’m working out and stuff, so I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be really big on top.
I’m a 34D, and my friends often call me “Boobs.” Even my gay male friends talk to them because they are distracting and they forget that they are staring at them, and one of my female friends said to me “I am a straight female and it makes me uncomfortable that I can’t stop staring at your breasts.” When I did the Vagina Monologues the director asked if I could choose another dress because my breasts were “distracting.” Yeah, they’re not always fun, and usually they are just something distracting for people to stare at, talk to, and talk about like I am not sitting there.
Awesome boobies in that picture. Thanks.
hun i know exactly how you feel. never in my life have i been a size A or B cup. i went from a training bra to a size 36C in a year. know raining in at a 40D and counting its a pain in the ass looking for bras that fit me. im even to big for victorias secret. and even when i try to exercise, i loose weight everywhere else but they only get bigger! and sad to say when i get knocked up, im most likely going to be a 42DD or bigger just like mom. got damn genetics!
After reading this article, I am immensely proud of my 34A/Bs. And definitely not in any rush to “enhance” them by having plastic embedded in my flesh.
i have 34D/DD aswell and i hate it SO much! id rather have a B, its not too big not too small! having big boobs sucks, if you wear lowcut shirts you look like a skank, and you cant look cute in some shirts either! im planning on getting a reduction in fact, so in convenient. especially when running… all those looks.. i can relate to this article.
I like…big…jugs and I cannot lie,
those other wankstas can deny,
when a chick walks in with an itty-bitty waist,
and her funbags in my face,
I get hard!
Make me wanna clean ‘em,
by puttin’ my johnson between ‘em!
Make me wanna cum,
make me wanna say,
“Baby Got Boobs!”
I don’t care if their fake!
In my hands I’ll take
them and squeeze ‘em
and pleeze ‘em,
so take your big fat titties out
so that everybody sees ‘em!
I kinda like Jane Fonda
with big headlights in front of her Honda!
So all you girls with big bazongas,
shake…those…big and healthy jugs!
When I see a chick who’s stacked,
her cunt soon with me is packed!
I like doggystyling a chick with big tits
I bang her then feed her my Kibbles and Bits!
I don’t mean to sound corny,
but even Shakespeare says
that “those tits doth make me horny!”
So take your girls, mammaries,
breasts, teats, whate’er u wanna call ‘em!
Let ‘em out, put in my face
and make me say “Baby Got Boobs!”
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