We are getting so close to the finish line, I can feel it! (And it feels great, considering how crap-tastic this season has been). There are only 4 designers and the big Bryant Park runway show left! Oh wait.

Just kidding.

There is also a wedding gown. And…wait for it…a bridesmaid dress, too! Hahahaha, suckers. You thought all those challenges were done and you were free, but those crazy cats at Bravo had to put you through the ringer one last time.

But I am getting ahead of myself. How can I not talk about Tim’s home visits?! He watches Korto drum in Arkansas, takes a bike ride with Leanne in Portland (and wears a helmet, which pretty much makes up for the entire season), does nothing with Kenley cuz she has no friends or family, and hangs out with the Jerrel crew. It was all very exciting and touching and blah, blah, blah.

And then the designers reunite in NYC. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t wait for some serious daggers to be thrown around the room now that Kenley watched the show and got to see what everyone said about her (mainly: she sucks at life), but there were none. NONE. In fact, instead of beating people up, Kenley served everyone champagne.

Lame.

Also lame? Bridesmaids dresses. They are always ugly, unflattering messes that oftentimes come in some atrocious pastel colored satin that somehow costs $300 and gets thrown in the back of your closet once the night is over because you would never be caught dead in that thing again.

Whew. Sorry ’bout that.

Let’s get back to the point. Bridesmaids dresses used to be my worst nightmare (next to shattering yet another iPhone) until Leanne-imal and Kenley proved me wrong with their gorgeous designs. I won’t be getting married anytime soon (most of my men don’t last through breakfast), but I want Kenley’s dress at my wedding. I want it, I want it, I want it! It was so. damn. cute.

Unlike that crap that Jerrel and Korto marched down the runway. And that made me sad. Really sad, because Korto has been my favorite the entire season and OH MY GOD! SHE IS GONNA GET SENT HOME. THAT DRESS LOOKS LIKE POO. PLEASE DON’T SEND HER HOME. I HAVE MONEY RIDING ON THIS.
SHE HAS TO WIN. [Excerpted from my notes from the episode.]

But she doesn’t get sent home; Jerrel’s hot mess of a wedding dress is too much for the judges (and any bride who doesn’t want to look like a pile of dirty garbage on her wedding day) and he is sent packin’. Don’t feel too bad for him, though; he still got to show at Fashion Week (a little TV trick), so I’m sure he’s A-OK.