• Bartending in college is perfectly fine, but if you’re going to crush beer cans between your boobs…well, you just might deserve what’s coming to you.

• Are you ready for New Year’s 2008?

• HEY U R COOL <333!! Is this the way we’re dating now? Apparently, the answer is yes and we hate it.

• Zombies are coming!! Be prepared!! (Really!)

• This is the most adorable story involving Boy Scouts and helping and being prepared (zombies!) that I’ve read all week!

• Hey you! Stop being lazy, get off your ass, and clean out your life! Get with it!

• You have a boyfriend and we’re happy for you! But please, please don’t turn into this girl.

• I didn’t even know people still described themselves as “Goth”. Either way, it’s certainly not distracting.