Last time – the girls tried to cure Flav’s “broken” heart.

During this episode, the ladies must split into two teams and their challenge is to create a restaurant, from décor, to name, to food that represents Flav. Grayvee had best make this freaking fried chicken that she went on about in Episode 1.

Each restaurant must have a manager. I don’t know which team is A or B, all I know is that Rayna’s managing one and Grayvee’s managing the other.

While everyone else preps, Rayna and Shy represent their team and Grayvee and Vanilla Ice take the reigns on theirs to go on a field trip and I can’t believe that each team gets $1000 to spend on crap ass decorations. On the way to the props shop, Vanilla Ice spends all of her time on the phone with her radio station, but you have to forgive her after the whole ‘I work in radio and I worked at Hooter’s and I always try to be the best at what I do.’ Sing it, Sister.

A plastic reindeer becomes the focal point of this shopping excursion. Shy wants to buy it but Rayna shuts her down because it’s not elegant and so Vanilla Ice and Grayvee buy it. I don’t even want to know how much that thing even cost.

VH1 somehow convinced Merrill Schindler, a Zagat restaurant critic, to come on and judge. Did they lie to him and tell him that he was appearing on a reputable show? Wonder if he got there and called his manager and threw a fit? He probably doesn’t have a manager…so never mind.

Anyway, the decorations are up, the food has been cooked and Grayvee’s restaurant is first to be judged. Thing 1 and 2 are the hostesses for Karma Restaurant and Merrill is totally loving the Twinz. They named their restaurant after one of Flav’s kids. He named his kid Karma. Whatever, I don’t even have time to deal with that.

Seezinz is the waitress and Bunz is the head chef. I have no idea what the other girls do; I’ll pretend that one was a sous cheef. The food critic declares that Bunz’s wings are not that great and that her gumbo is too salty for consumption. But Flav likes the New Orleans décor and the random reindeer in the corner, which I too love because it’s all ready for Mardi Gras.

On to Rayna’s restaurant: Hotlanta hostess-es and both men note the classy décor of the restaurant. Flav doesn’t feel like it’s really representative of him. Yeah, I don’t think that you’re classy, either. Speaking of class, Myammee, the waitress, brings out the appetizer – Henny. And she’s not wearing pants.

Surprisingly, Flav isn’t too pleased because his restaurant is supposed to be family friendly and everyone is in lingerie. If the wings are good, Flav, then no one cares. That’s how Hooter’s has built an empire.

Oh and even better – the restaurant is called Flava’s. As in that’s not how you spell his name. You know the food is going to suck, too.

And, I’m right – the food critic won’t eat it. So Prancer brings out dessert to try to save the team and the meal and the individual cheesecakes look awesome. She couldn’t have made it – there wasn’t enough time.

Merrill asks who made the cheesecake and Prancer says, “The Cheesecake Factory.” You freaking rock. You rock. At least the Henny was good.

Time for evaluations: Merrill tells Karma that their wings were bad and that their food was salty. He tells Flava that their food was too heavy to even eat.

Karma’s restaurant wins because they wore pants and had a reindeer, meaning that Grayvee, the manager, wins a solo date and the rest of the team get a solo date.

The solo date is later on that evening and Flav, whose hair is 9 inches high, takes Grayvee to Tony Roma’s for a romantical date. Eating with my hands when I’m trying to impress someone = romantical to the hilt. During the meal, Grayvee reveals her love of pig’s feet and Flav reveals his utter disgust at the mere thought.

During the date, Prancer catches Vanilla Ice on the phone giving an interview to someone at her radio station. That’s it – you’re going home.

The next day = group date. Flav takes Bunz, Thing 1 and 2, Vanilla Ice, Sinceer and Seezinz to an ice rink where they receive a lesson from the super fabulous Scott Stewart. Don’t even google him, I can’t find shit on this guy. VH1 spent all their cash for this episode on Merrill’s appearance, the Henny and the reindeer. Scott teaches the girls jazz hands and I bet that he’s the dude who choreographed Heidi Montag’s atrocious video.

VH1 totally picked this date – Flav doesn’t seem to be able to skate despite his childhood love for the place.

Flav picks Sinceer to skate around alone with him and everyone else talks about her drinking. But she’s not drunk – like ever. What are you all talking about? Sinceer comes back from the Flav skate to “make everyone STFU” but all she does is insult Bunz’s mama, who has some very serious medical issues. Flav is disappointed in Sinceer and her massive forehead and they all go home.

While Flav makes some pre-elimination beats, everyone comes knocking on his door. Shy comes in about something that Rayna said. Rayna goes in and – are you crying? Prancer goes in to tell on Vanilla Ice. Big Rick then fetches Vanilla Ice, who denies any such incident. She admits that Flav wasn’t the main draw to the house but then camera-admits, “If I have to make out with Flav to stay, that’s what I’ll do.” Make your family proud, Vanilla Ice.

Eliminations: two are going home.

The only entertaining part is when Flav makes Sinceer apologize to Bunz – no apology = no clock. Sinceer gives a fakeass apology and then we’re down to Vanilla Ice, Myammee and Rayna.

Flav calls Vanilla Ice down – she thinks that she’s getting a clock, but Flav eliminates her. Her name is Amanda and – are you crying? WHYYYY?

Rayna and Myammee get called down together and Flav sends Rayna home. No surprises tonight. It won’t be remotely exciting until we have a smaller group anyway.

So next time: a challenge. Someone calls someone Fake. Someone insults someone’s mom. And a bunch of words get bleeped out.