I hope you are staying in tonight, because the opening ceremonies are gonna be off the chain!

Tara Reid will not be Dancing with the Stars. Drinking with the stars, however? She’s got that one in the bag.

These women can totally kick your ass.

Woman arrested for posting “sexual” stories online. We are so. screwed.

This might be the weirdest phobia ever. And the best video.

These kids somehow make me feel inadequate.

Forget Labor Day; September 2nd should be a national holiday!

Bad News: Ben and Jerry will not be making a Crack Cocaine/Horse Tranquilizer ice cream anytime soon.

Speaking of drugs…let’s hope Amy Winehouse is washing her hands…

Weird foods from the Olympic games.

Practice (extra) safe sex. You know, just to be abso-freaking-lutely sure.

This story is old, but the photo is priceless.

Man posts ad on Craigslist looking for a MILF…and gets one. Kinda.

Did you know the Olympics start tonight?

I can’t imagine how you would have any idea. It’s not like there has been a billion commercials/news stories/a total media frenzy surrounding the event.

I guess I am sorta excited; lord knows the Summer games are far more exciting than the random ice events (bobsledding? curling?) of the Winter Olympics. I love watching the gymnastics and diving - those people are amazing. Oh, and of course swimming is super exciting, what with Michael Phelps - a fellow Wolverine - dominating the pool.

But the rest is just sorta boring. Why would I care if the U.S. had the best fencers? And who really feels pride in knowing their country can row the fastest? What do the Olympics have to offer that is worth getting out of the pool early to watch?

How about hot guys?

I know, I know; the Olympics are all about strength, agility and lots of hard work. They are about bringing the world together in a little “friendly” competition. They are about finding the world’s best athletes and celebrating them. But, come on, what’s wrong with watching for a little eye candy?

So, I scoured the internet to find the hottest US athletes. Something that I, as an American Woman, can be proud of. If you couldn’t think of a reason to watch the games, I found you 12. Grab some snacks and settle in; you are not gonna want to miss a thing. Read More »

One of my best buddies said to me the other day, “You know, I’m so American that I don’t even care about the Olympics.” I laughed, because these are the kinds of things that she says to me fairly frequently. At the time, I wasn’t all that excited about the Olympics. It wasn’t that I wasn’t looking forward to them; it was just that I had a hell of a lot more on my plate.

Still, as we get closer by leaps and bounds (only hours away!) to the Summer 2008 Olympics, I guess I am kind of excited. I’m sure I’m not as psyched as lots of die hard sports fans who will be watching the Games like a hawk. But I am looking forward to seeing that torch lit. Just…not for reasons that I think resonate with the majority of Olympics viewers.

Love Those Losers: My grandmother and I started the tradition about ten years ago of watching the Olympics and rooting for the country with the least chance of winning. I’ve always had a thing for underdogs; I don’t know if it’s because they’re so utterly pathetic (really, you should watch just to see their, “Well, I saw that coming,” expressions when they fail horrendously) or because of how awesome it is when the team no one thought would even place gets the gold. Either way, I’ll be keeping a semi-close eye on the teams that the rest of the viewers and participants could care less about. (But I won’t be making any bets. I always lose those.)

Summer Olympics are HOT: I know you know it. Gawker knows it. We know it. This summer there is a delicious smorgasbord across several of the sports, and I do not just mean the competitive spirit. Two of my favorites are USA softball girl Jennie Finch and Australian diving boy Matthew Mitcham. Too bad I’m pretty certain Finch is straight and I know for certain that Mitcham is gay, so I’ve got no chance with either of them. Still, I can gawk and unfairly root for them. Read More »

You know how every once in a while, nothing is on TV, and you’re super bored, and maybe it’s a Friday night and you have no plans, and instead of doing something productive like reading you flip around on your remote and end up watching the Disney Channel? Yeah. Don’t deny.

There’s nothing wrong with a little mindless television for kids, but what happens when you find yourself inexplicably drawn to those fresh-faced young men chirping out that positive and life-affirming Disney dialogue? You feel weird and a little dirty — and then you go online and try to find pictures. Also, any info that would allow you to stop feeling like a pedophile: i.e birthdays before 1991.

Even though all of the nubile young things listed below have all surpassed their 18th year, I can’t help but feel just the slightest bit Creepy-Old-Man-On-The-Bus whenever I look at them. Oh well. What can I say? If there are shirtless pics of these hotties somewhere on the net, I’d look at them.

I might even download. Read More »

It’s no news that Gossip Girl has been drawing criticism for its racy content and depictions of teenage debauchery. But the recent ad campaign launched by the CW to promote its second season has reignited the flame beneath TV watchdog groups and snobby critics alike. It’s been grabbing the attention of the show’s targeted demographic as well as news sources such as CNN. But this time, the ads (all of which can be found on the CW’s YouTube page) are under fire not only for their salacious content, but also for twisting around the words of critics and using them to glorify the show’s risque themes.

The Parents Television Council is outraged (as usual) over the ads’ audacious use of the organization’s criticism - in advertising the very show these watchdog groups are crusading against. Tim Winter, president of the Parents Television Council, says that the ad campaign is indicative of the CW’s desperate attempts to gain more viewers this fall.
Read More »

I love fried chicken as much as the next guy, but this is just too much.

Coney Island adds a new “ride“. Can we go? CAN WE, CAN WE?

You go, girl old lady!

Who says postal workers are disgruntled?

Rob and Big: A music video.

Pineapple Express is funny. You gonna see it?

Perez Hilton layin’ off the donuts to get laid. Unfortunately, he still sucks.

Forget putting notches in the ol’ bedpost; now men can show em off on his finger!

Sure, you have 1,235 friends on FB, but are you internet famous?

I am afraid to go to sleep now. For real.

Hillary, give it up already. You lost. Pack up the pride and just walk away.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: not realistic (and not only because of those magical pants).

Top 10 Mispronunciations that Make You Look Stupid.

I have to say – last night’s episode of Project Runway brought back feelings of happier times. Times when the contestants were funny and talented and I actually enjoyed watching.

Yeah, I’ll say it: I laughed out loud. And it felt good.

And, being that last night’s episode was all about the Olympic games, I decided it was only fitting to choose an MVP. And, quite obviously, it is going to Blayne and his many hilaaaarious one-liners:

“Other people go to the gym. I go tanning.”
“The Olympics are HUMUNGOUS! SO big. Thousands and millions and billions of people. Heck yeah I’m going for the Gold!”
“In tanning, I’m an Olympic athlete. It only goes to Bronze medal.”
“I just don’t do the Beatles…Sorry Ringo.”

I know he seems to be melting due to his lack of tanning, but I think it makes me like him more. And he has all those bright 80’s Hyper Color t-shirts; he’ll get through it. Oh, and he is MVP purely for what he says. His design sucked. Read More »

From frat parties to late nights at the bar, power hours to beer pong tournaments, living the college lifestyle can really take it’s toll on your body. Hangovers are a bitch, you can feel your pants getting snug and all those unidentified bruises really don’t go with your collection of sundresses.

And don’t forget about your face.

Those dark circles under your eyes. The wrinkles from all that smoking (first or secondhand!).

Ugh. Partying is not a pretty thing. But what are you supposed to do….stop? Ha! You are no quitter, sister. What is the point of having a pretty face if you can’t take it out on the town? On the other hand, though, if your face is heading downhill now imagine what it is gonna look like in 20 years!

What to do, what to do…. Read More »

Cindy Crawford’s still got it. Let’s harvest her genes!

Tranny or Granny? That is the question

Tori Spelling continues to kill all that was ever right in this word

Shut your face Manic Pixie Girl!!

Need help surviving your 20’s?

Say sorry for protecting your health, you naughty, naughty Olympians!

Mmmm, Absinthe

In your face, men everywhere!

Ricotta Cherry Cheesecake. DELISH

In case you were wondering, we’re not a bunch of drunks

For all you elf fetishers out there