The Olympics Do Not Welcome Everyone

joey_cheek_4.jpgSure, if you want to go to the Olympics, you’ve got to be the best at your sport. But for some, even that isn’t enough.

This year’s Beijing Olympics are possibly the most politicized Olympics to go down on the planet in decades. It’s always ugly when politics enter into something supposed to be as pure an ideal as the excellence of sport, but the polluted skies over Beijing aren’t the only source of dirt and grime these days.

Everyone knows about the furious and polarizing debates and protests over Tibet. It’s hardly news anymore that there are monks on the march, and Chinese police cracking down on them. What I find even more disturbing, however, is the crushing influence of the Chinese government over people’s free speech. When so-called public opinion polls emerge saying that over 90% of all Chinese people are wholeheartedly in favor of every aspect of the Chinese government, as I’ve been reading about in the New York Times, you know something’s wrong.

No country likes their government that much, unless they’re too frightened to say differently. And now, this strong tendency to crack down on opposing opinions has gone one step further: it entered the olympics.

Princeton student Joey Cheek, class of 2011, a world champion speed skater and former Olympian (who was only going to the Olympics to support his team) has had his visa revoked by the Chinese government. The reason? Cheek is an outspoken activist for the genocide in Darfur, and has been critical of China’s many investments in the Sudan. Read More »

Anthrax Suspect Obsessed With Kappa Kappa Gamma Sorority

kappakappagamma.jpgDo you know who Bruce Ivins is? Flashback to 2001, way too close to September 11th… remember the Anthrax scare that had this country freaking the f*ck out? Someone was mailing letters stuffed with actual anthrax to public figures, and not only were handlers of the letters getting sick, but people were actually dying from the shiz. Bruce Ivins, a 62-year-old Army biowarfare scientist who reportedly committed suicide Sunday, July 27th, was recently named by the FBI as the number one suspect of the Anthrax mailings.

So now that you know a little bit about Ivins, perhaps you’d be interested to find out that the man supposedly had a weird obsession with Princeton University’s Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority. Since the entire story is being heavily shrouded by the government (motivating some people to cry foul on Ivan’s link to the Anthrax letters), it’s not entirely clear how Ivins acted out his “obsession”, but a few reports indicate that Ivans was “rebuffed by a woman in the sorority” during his college days at Cincinnati University, and…I guess…never got over the burn? Read More »

Emergency Contraception is Abortion? Only in Minnesota

plan-b.jpgI know that I am a woman of the new millennium, but I still cannot believe that in 2008 there are still people out there trying to control women’s bodies and what we choose to do with them. Especially doctors.

Recently, a federal rule was proposed in Minnesota that would eliminate the mandate for hospitals to provide emergency contraception to rape victims. This rule would “broaden the definition of abortion to include the most widely used forms of birth control, which can prevent implantation of a fertilized egg.”

“It elaborates that the rule change would mean doctors and nurses would not have to provide information on birth control, prescriptions or give referrals to get it elsewhere. Operating room technicians would not have to clean instruments used in a surgical procedure, the proposal said.” Read More »

Debbie Does…Retirement?: 73-Year-Old Porn Star Rulz the Screen in Japan

shigeo-tokuda.jpgYou gotta love Japanese culture. They always find a way to surprise you with their little quirks and pleasantries.

I mean, in America, the stereotypical retiree will move down to Florida to spend their time lounging by the pool in a gated community or playing a few holes on the golf course. Lame. In Japan, adult films for senior citizens, aka “elderly porn” is growing into quite the profitable franchise, according to porn producing giant Ruby Productions.

While America’s economy is declining, many entertainment venues (including golf courses) are taking a hit. In Japan, at least one retiree is cashing in on the entertainment biz. Shigeo Tokuda, 73, is the Ron Jeremy of elderly porn.

CNN correspondent Kyung Lah describes Tokuda as “the star of his movies in every way, romancing his co-stars, no matter their age, no matter their needs.” And apparently, his films are no-holds-barred, much like anything Jenna Jameson has appeared in. Read More »

Candy Dish: Scientists Reward Laziness

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Working out without working out? Sign me up!!And this is why I never take the bus.

Finally, an action movie with a strong female lead!

10 Best Songs for Doing the Dirty, Dirty

Brangelina’s twins already worth more than I will be in my lifetime.

Why haven’t I heard about this summer blockbuster yet?

Newlyweds spend wedding night in the slammer. Romance…. <sigh>

Gossip Girl is ruining the youth of this country!

Late again! Yesterday was National Orgasm Day. Perhaps we could still celebrate? Any takers?

Mini Me got beat up…by a girl. Girl power!

Giant cat getting molested on live TV? Yes, it is a slow news day…

[Photo courtesy of the New York Times]

Pimpin’ All Over the Presidency: Ludacris vs. Obama

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I’m going to say what everyone is thinking. Ludacris is a modern day Shakespeare. Yeah, I said it, someone had to. If you don’t know every word to “Roll Out (My Business)” then I’m not sure you can be considered an American.

What could be better than a modern day Shakespeare? Pair him with today’s JFK or some other awesome leader of yesteryear. That of course, is Barack “Yeah I did coke, so what?!” Obama. Luda plus Obama? It’s like Batman and Robin, peanut butter and jelly, Paris and Nicole, boxed wine and passing out on a sidewalk! They just make sense together.

Naturally I was psyched when Barack and Luda first met up to talk about AIDS, empowering the youth or bling. My hopes were built up by a conversation that I could only assume they had.

Ludacris: YOU’S A HOOOO, OHHHHH!
Barack: Together… we can change America, Ludacris.
Ludacris: Yeah man, you’s going for that number one spot.
Barack: I want you, to be… my running mate.
Ludacris: YEAHHH Baby. Hells YES we CAN OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LUDA! YEPPP! Read More »

Paris Hilton for President: That’s Hot 2008

paris_hilton3.jpg So here’s the sitch: John “I’m not dead yet” McCain likened Barack “Too Sexy for this presidency” Obama to Paris Hilton in one of his feeble attempts to get attention, or you know, “campaign,” which is pretty funny considering that McCain is married to a character who is very similar to Hilton. You know, blonde, looks like a leather handbag, is an heiress to a shit-ton of money but doesn’t really contribute other than being “umm, kinda good looking?”

I digress.

Anyway, the democrats got all pissy and whiney about the ad and made some comments that didn’t do anything to help the situation, but I’m sure they’re still whining about it, not being productive, you know, the usual. I didn’t really see the problem with the ad, mainly because I was psyched about Paris Hilton being president.

I’m not really wild about either candidate, so I’m going to have to say we all write-in Paris Hilton for president for 2008. Mostly, because who couldn’t do a better job than what’s his name? Also, because she would hopefully implement some great policies that would bring this country out of it’s depressing state.

She’s a perfect representative for America. She has tons of super sweet connections with people, even if the majority of her network is people she’s given blow jobs to. She’s concerned with appearances and does not approve of anything “not hot,” like terrorism, hate crimes, animal cruelty and flannel. She doesn’t seem to care about either the Democrat or Republican party, but she does party, thus making her the perfect middle ground this country needs. Read More »

Earthquakes, Los Angeles and How We Deal

earthquake-gallery-3.jpgYesterday at 2:53pm EST my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Sweetie” (it was my mom), “There’s been an earthquake”

My heart stopped.
“Where was it centered?”
“I don’t know”
“How big?”
“They’re saying it was in the 6’s and…”
“Where are you?”
“Driving home from …”
“How are the dogs?”

By now I was shrieking, I barely heard her empty assurances that they must be okay and that she would try to get a hold of someone nearby.

I hung up and rushed to my computer, certain that the worst had happened. Another major Quake…

When I was 8 the ‘94 Northridge Quake destroyed most of my known world. My family was homeless for 9 months and all of our parks were turned into National Guard relocation facilities. For a while I slept with my tennis shoes on—in case I had to climb out of my room the next morning.

It is impossible to describe the relief that washed over me when I finally got through to the LA Times website and saw that it was only a 5.8 (later lowered to a 5.4) with horizontal motion and centered in Chino Hills about 55 miles from my home in the San Fernando Valley. Read More »

Misbehaving Parents at Summer Camp

26camp_600.jpgA few summers ago, I worked as a CIT at a day camp I had attended as a child. You’d think that going to work at a place that was a major part of your childhood would be pretty awesome, but those eight weeks proved to be an utter disaster. I try not to think about it and, so far, I’ve been fairly successful at suppressing those memories.

But this article in the New York Times reminded me of a particularly nasty piece of work I encountered during my counseling duties that summer. She was the mother of two abnormally hyper and mischievous twin boys who I had to supervise on the bus every morning and afternoon. Frankly, the kids were easier to deal with than this woman. She makes the helicopter mothers mentioned in the article appear to be merely “concerned.”

In addition to supervising a group of kids at the camp, my older brother and I were bus counselors on the vehicle that transported campers in our area. Every morning as the bus approached her house, the crazy woman would come outside wearing her pink, flowery robe and greet us with a sickeningly sweet smile, only to go completely apesh*t on us that afternoon. She would yell at us the moment we pulled up, blaming us if she got a call that day from the camp about her devil spawns’ misbehavior.

I’m pretty sure she was bipolar, because one moment she would be calm, and the next she would be screaming like a banshee about how the camp was lying about her boys’ behavior and how we should be fired for not doing our job. She called the camp director just about every day to complain about us and the lousy job the boys’ group counselors were doing. I fought the urge to tell her that her parenting was the problem, not our performance. Read More »

Six Ice Creams That Will Destroy Your Bikini Bod

heir-to-the-cone.jpgThe next time you want to drown your boy problems in a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s, you might want to read the nutritional info.

Newsweek recently uncovered the six most fattening ice cream flavors (Personal note: there wasn’t any real news to cover, Newsweek? Like the upcoming elections, the crumbling economy, or the War on Iraq?). Here are the results of the study, with my personal opinions on whether 6 hours at the gym is worth a scoop or two.

1.Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter: 360 calories, 24 grams of fat

This should really come as no surprise. Chocolate+Peanut Butter= guaranteed muffin top. But it’s sooo good! Still, 360 calories will take about half an hour of vigorous cardio on a CrossTrainer, and can you really trust yourself to stop at the teensy half-cup serving?

Fight this craving with: two frozen peanut butter cups.

2.Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby: 330 calories, 20 grams of fat

Umm, did anyone EXPECT fudge-covered, peanut-butter-filled pretzels, swirled in vanilla malt ice cream and rippled with even more fudge and peanut butter to be healthy??? Sure, Ben and Jerry might be a perfect rebound after you spied your ex at the bar with the dorm sleaze, but you won’t be able to fit into your skinny jeans after more than a bite or two.

Fight this craving with: a 100 calorie pack of Mr. Salty chocolate-covered pretzels. Read More »

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