I have about a seven block walk from the bus to work every morning. During those seven blocks, I’m usually craving caffeine so badly I’m blind to the world, but on the periodic occasions when my need for coffee isn’t all consuming, I tend to look around at what people are wearing. And you know what I’m noticing? Chicks are walking around in f*cking uncomfortable shoes.

For every pair of sensible sneaks, there are mile high heels, wobbly wedges, pointy-toed witch shoes, flatter than flat flats, and gladiator sandals that eat up half a person’s leg. And you know what? Because I’m a woman and have worn things like this in the past, I can guarantee that 87.9% of the shoes I see every day ARE NOT COMFORTABLE.

Thin-heeled pumps and tall wedges are pretty, and some are even acceptable to teeter around in for an hour or so, but spending an entire day is shoes like that – not to mention walking the streets of New York City – does nothing for us except propagate the idea that for a woman to be considered “put together”, she needs to be in fancy (read: hurty) shoes. Read More »

Um. It looks like my grandpa started designing clothes!

Or maybe not. Even he doesn’t wear his pants this high. What were the people at Society for Rational Dress thinking?

Their designs are typically chic, simple and beautiful. But these? These “pants” are pleading for a camel toe. And a nursing home.

And where exactly does the zipper start? What does one wear with a pair of pants that belts at the breasts? Does this look come in capris?

I know that we are trying to move away from the low rise fad that leaves cracks exposed and the infamous muffin top, but this is taking things a bit too far, no?

Accessories are a great way to complete an outfit and add a little zest to your look. This year we see many old trends re-emerging, a few newbies and a few twists on those oldies but goodies.

Big jewelry continues to be a major trend, so one key tip is that if you’re gonna go big on the accessories, you need to go minimally on the clothes so you don’t end up looking like a walking Vegas Strip.

Nature is a main theme throughout jewelry pieces for the summer; you’ll see flowers, leaves and moons & stars in everything from pendants to rings and especially in drop earrings, so go ahead and get in touch with nature.

One of the “must have” pieces of the season is the not-so-subtle medallion. Medallions and pendants are back, as designers turn to the seventies and eighties for inspiration. A sub-division of this trend is another one; zodiac pendants. Say good-bye to wearing your name or initials on your neck, showing off your star sign in silver, gold or even diamonds is the way to go. Read More »

The other day, I was tricked into going to Costco with my Mom. I just really wanted an excuse to wear my SWEET new rain galoshes, so I agreed to go on what I knew would be a torturously long errand. I soon found myself wandering the massive aisles, bored out of my mind, considering buying 600 plastic forks, just so I could use one to poke out my eyes. Maybe then I could go home?

I figured this was a bad idea, so I meandered over to health and beauty, where I knew I could find something to occupy myself with. And then I saw it– a Smashbox Picture Perfect Kit with eyeshadow quad, mini lip gloss trio (with pink leather mirrored case!), mascara, and face highlighter– for $19.99!! The kit came with detailed instructions on how to apply the makeup, much like other cosmetics brands that are now taking the guesswork out of makeup application . I snatched it, threw it inconspicuously into Mom’s cart and tore it open as soon as we were in the car.

Opening up the new makeup kit felt exactly the same way it did that very first time. My Grandma (against my mother’s desperate pleas not to) bought me a GIANT pink and purple kit full of awful pink lipsticks, hooker-blue eye shadow, fake mascara, fucshia blush and glitter, glitter, sweet glitter when I was three. It was then that I fell in love with makeup. I put on all of my face decorations, just like mommy did, every day before I left my house. I sometimes had loaded my face so full of makeup that it couldn’t take anymore, and, consequently, I applied some to my helpless baby brother.

Which brings me to my point. Read More »

There are some attributes to the summer season that make it less than perfect. One of these is the prevalence of muffin top sightings, and I’ve just got to vent.

It’s not so much the muffin top in and of itself that irks me. It is OSTS, or One-Size-Too-Small Syndrome, afflicting so many girls that just baffles me.

Why do I refer to this…issue… as OSTS instead of the popular, Muffin Top? Well, in my humble opinion, the phrase “muffin top” implies that the offender is what she eats, and likely has a fondness for Oreos and Taco Bell. This simply is not always true. Skin hanging over your waistband does not mean fatness. I’ve seen girls who can’t possibly be any bigger than a size 4 with a muffin top, and it’s not that they’re at all chubby. Instead, it’s that they insist they’re a size two, and the end result in the obvious: OSTS. It’s not pretty. Read More »

Historically, women have always been shoved into a little feminine box. We have always had to be proper - pinky out when drinking tea, crossing our legs at the ankle when sitting on the couch, letting the man make all the first moves. That trend has made its exit in the past 10 or so years, but for some reason, it still stuck around in the fashion world. Frilly dresses, delicate fabrics and beautifully crafted footwear are the staple of many women’s wardrobes.

But that custom’s days are also fleeting.

There is a new look making its way on runways from Paris to New York that is pairing the daintiness of yesteryear with the attitude of the modern day woman. And it is easy to do: the trick is to pump up the hardware on your feet and temper the volume of your dress so you look fresh and strong - not like Avril Lavigne. Read More »

Rather than doing my laundry I often find it fun to buy new things…particularly underwear. I know I’m not the only one, either. Laundry day or Victoria’s Secret? C’mon.

Granted, it would be much cheaper to wash, but I digress.

Just yesterday I hit a low point in my stack of floral, striped, polka dot, lace, days of the week undies, and even every thong…so I headed out in search of spankin new skivvies.

I found myself at Urban Outfitters (it’s always fun running through Urban, checking out the goods but lately I’ve noticed EVERYTHING is a play on Vintage. I work in Vintage clothing sales and it’s hard to buy a “Vintage” looking top when you know five girls on the street will be wearing it too).

I’m getting away from my point — back to the underthing situation. I grabbed a sweet little lace forest green bra (so cute and comfortable) and three pairs of “Smack” underwear in solid shades of yellow, blue, and purple. I was excited, the colors were muted and the cotton felt soft.

Ha! Excited, nothing! I was swindled. Read More »

Every once in great a while, the Gods of Fashion send word down to the mortals that curly hair is in. And the peasants rejoice.

But, when said peasants actually look at the Fashion Gods’ pictures, they are whole-heartedly disappointed. All too often, to these arbiters of taste, “curly” means “straight with a very slight artificial wave about half-way down.” Take, for instance, these “natural-looking curls:”

And the peasants cry.

That hair is beautiful, but realistic? Hell no.

But this year, this year, goddammit, it supposedly the year of the curl. Celebrities are donning curls, stylists are throwing away the irons and magazines are telling us to “embrace our natural texture.” Too bad, for many of us, that is far easier said than done.

For a lot of us curlies, our hair has always been the bane of our existence (unless we were around in the 80’s). The 90′ s and most of the 00’s have told us that if our hair is “big,” it’s dated, or out of fashion. Curls are okay…as long as they’re flat. Which, quite frankly, natural curls are not. So, we attempt to flatten and - bottles of gel later - we don’t look fashionable; we look like drowned rats. Read More »

[Everyone’s had that internship. The one that sounded awesome but ended up being awful. I had that internship. I thought I’d be reading scripts and doing coverage, but instead, I was leaning over a rickety filing cabinet for 5 hours every day, filing bullsh*t as big Important People stepped over me and constantly forgot my name. I also went on errands for necessary things like laundry, cappucinos, dog food, and cardboard boxes. It was truly a monumental waste of time.

Judging by stories from friends and colleagues, I know I’m not the only one who’s done something stupid in the name of free, resume-building labor. When CollegeCandy put out a request for a Secret Intern to write an Internship Diary, we got some truly cringe-inducing stories, but “Elisa’s” experience trumped all.

Currently, “Elisa” is interning for a big, flashy 5th Avenue designer. Sounds awesome, right? Well…read on.]

“What are you doing this summer?”
“I’m a marketing intern for a designer on 5th ave.”
“No way!! You’re so lucky.”

Yup. That was me. The “lucky” one. Little did I know I was in for a whole different ride. Read More »

Yes, trends come and go, so we should probably just shut up and learn to live with them.

However, that is so not my style.

So, that said, here are the three trends of the summer that I most hate. Agree? Disagree? Couldn’t give a shoop? All fine, but I flippin’ hate these.

(3) Fuchsia Lips

Or, rather, fuchsia lipstick.

Fuchsia lips are an example of a trend that works fine on the runway but fails just about everywhere else. In other words, it looks fine if you aren’t trying to look at the actual person.

In the pictures above, we’ve got two adorable, gorgeous celebrities (Christina Ricci and Beyonce)…and they both look strangely washed out and clowny and old, even with the help of celebrity make-up artists. Read More »