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Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or some other holiday that not many people know about, you have undoubtedly received a gift that made you cringe, bite your lip to keep your mouth from saying something rude, or eyes water from the sheer ugliness factor.
While awesome presents are fun to receive, crappy presents are fun to talk about. So here, in no particular order, are three of the stupidest things I have received in recent memory.
* Box of Sparkly Body Spray – When I was 12, I freakin’ loved sparkly things. I would have killed for something like this in my teenybopper phase. However, once I turned, oh, say 22, I had pretty much left my gaudy taste behind. Too bad a long lost relative didn’t get the memo. When I opened this present—a set of three different kinds of pink, sparkly, heavily scented body sprays with Barbie heads as bottle stoppers—I was immediately mortified for everyone in the room. Either this relative was so out of touch with reality she thought Barbie was still something I enjoyed, or she had just totally and obviously re-gifted.
• Big, Red, Ugly Sweater – The ugliness factor wasn’t as big of a deal as the idea that the people who gave it to me (people I have known all my life) actually thought I would fit into it. Holding it up in mock happiness, I happened to catch sight of the “size large” on the tag. Size large? A woman’s large? I hadn’t been a large since I was a chubby kid. I wear a size 4!, I wanted to scream, I left those chunky days behind in sixth grade, why are you trying to make me relive them?! Most people could probably shrug off an ill-sized sweater no problem, but most people didn’t get stuck on a water slide when they were 10.
• A Bag Of Nuts – I wish there was some kind of double entendre to this gift, but really, one year my grandma presented me with a bag of nuts tied with a ribbon. It was at a big family Christmas party, everyone was confused, and I was forced to eat a handful of chestnuts while my grandma took a picture. She still has that picture. And it haunts me.
Have any Worst Gift Stories of your own? Let us know. We’re dying to commiserate.
5 Comments
ever since i was 7 i have been receiving the exact same things from my aunt and uncle every Christmas and birthday: a thrifted mini backpack and couple of thrifted Babysitter club books. it might have been fine when i was 10, but last year i received it for Christmas AGAIN… i was 20. worst. presents. ever.
I would try to suggest to your family that you could use something useful as a gift. But go with something inexpensive and small first and work up from there. “ICEAlity Traveling Perfume” is only about $10 and every college girl (or boy since its uni-sex) will use it since its so practical.
Read Review in Trend Hunter Magazine:
http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/iceality
or in your case a nut crack’n pair of pliars for $2 at the Dollar Store. LOL
This year my recent ex and I decided to exchange gifts. I bought him a nice pair of dorm pants from Aeropostle (neither of us really wear this stuff, but dorm pants are quite functional).
When he opened them he asked me if I was kidding. Um, no; are they funny or something?
Then he whips out something from behind his back: a 1/2 lb. chocolate bar. OKay, I would have been happy had the gift stopped there because I am always craving chocolate and asking him if he has any.
But no.
He takes something from his back pocket: this old, used, child’s PDA. You know the kind. The one that holds phone numbers and e-mail addresses and has a clock (with alarm) and calculator.
Giving someone like me (a girl who has a Wii, DVR in her bedroom, a desktop computer and a laptop, a cell phone, and an iPod)(and now I sound spoiled, but mind you, I worked for all of this stuff to become mind) this was a major no-no. My first thought was that maybe he didn’t have a lot to spend. No big.
Oh, but no. He pulled out $25 and then his wallet. I asked him why he had his money out. He said that it fell out as he was giving me my “gift”. Then I saw that he had well over $200 in his wallet.
Explain to me how this makes sense. Please. And to think he wants to go back out with me (I dumped him).
[Note: I sound extremely selfish and rude in this post, but please, don’t think that I am. I am easy to buy for. Honestly, give me a $1 bottle of bubbles and I will have fun for hours. Literally.]
a huge, seasickness green, sweatshirt with glittergluepaint trimmed iron-on decal: holly, trees, candy canes, etc…
my adorable little sister (who’s 8, mind you) gave me 2 sticks of glittery lip smackers chapstick.. which she had finished using last year and was filled with lent. hahaha
…it’s the thought that counts right? :o)
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