How many times do I say the word in a day?

I couldn’t rightly tell you. It’s one of my favorite swears. One of my favorite terms of endearment. It looks so good italicized. Plus, it sounds pretty fantastic coming out of someone’s mouth.

Don’t get me wrong, bitch can be completely derogatory, especially when it’s said with malice, or spoken by a guy to describe a girl, but is there really anything better than walking into a room and greeting your girlfriends with a rousing yell of hey, bitches! ?

Darlene Mealy, a Brooklyn member of The New York City Council, thinks there is. What’s better than using it as a term of endearment? Eradicating it all together.

Explaining that the word carries with it “a paradigm of shame and indignity”, Ms. Mealy has introduced a measure against the word, a measure that has the support of 19 out of 51 members on the council.

Even while she declares bitch a “vile attack on our womanhood”, Mealy admits that if the measure passes, it will almost be impossible to enforce. Which of course begs the questions of why.

Why spend months of political time and attention on eliminating a word in theory, a word that’s only as powerful as the context it’s in? And why stop at bitch? What about slut and whore, two equally satisfying yet derogatory words? Why not erase all the deprecating words aimed at women?

I understand that Ms. Mealy is offended by the word bitch, but I’m incredibly offended and disgusted at the word panties (seriously, it makes me shudder), and satisfy myself with simply keeping it out of my vocabulary. Do I ask my friends not to say it around me? Sure. But do I try to pass a civil rights measure every time someone slips up and exclaims “Look at those adorable Vicky’s panties!”? Of course not.

Before she wastes anymore time and paper, Ms. Mealy should consider laying off the hardcore rap (10 rappers were cited in her legislation), ask her friends to refrain from wearing their Skinny Bitch shirts around her, and perhaps, just perhaps…take one or two chill pills every night before bed.