• This is the most confusing story on penis theft ever. (AllAfrica.com)

• I think the worst thing that could happen to Portland is a Hippie Rebellion…not a bio-terrorist attack. (katu.com)

• Hop on the Heart Attack Express and eat at the Bacon Club! On the menu: Bacon infused mint julep? (boston.com)

• Booze Alert: Absinthe is back! 62% alcohol, anyone? (jsonline.com)

• Who’s worse? Britney Spears or the woman who used her infant as a taser shield? (tulsaworld.com)

• Dorm kitchen essentials! Hey, anything’s better than the cafeteria! (COED Magazine)