Days as a Freshman: 40
Mood: Been better

“What’s up?”

Laughing, Sasha let Naima lead him over to Crystal and I. The speakers were booming, people were shouting, and my head was swimming. Everyone around me was drunk. Everyone around me was having a fantastic time at the first dance of the year.

But I was stone cold sober. And panicking. And inches away from the boy I was in love with.

“Grace seriously has something to tell you.” Naima laughed, looking at me and winking the most obvious wink anyone has ever seen in their life. “She would have called you over here herself but she’s too shy!”

Wiping a patch of sweaty hair from his forehead, Sasha looked at me and smiled. The way his eyes landed lazily on my face made it pretty obvious that he was in the same condition as my friends. “What’s up, Grace? You’re shy?”

“No! Naima is just grabbing anyone she can!” I yelled over the rumbling bass and did my best to mimic the sloshing movements of everyone else around me. Just because I wasn’t drunk didn’t mean I couldn’t pretend.

“She is?” Sasha tried to turn to find her, but Naima and Crystal were back next to the wall a few feet away, covertly sharing Crystal’s flak. “That’s pretty weird, huh?”

The more he smiled, the longer he looked me in the eyes, the more I became aware of myself. What did I look like? Was my make-up running? Was I as sweaty as I felt? Was he just drunk and stuck, or did Sasha actually want to stand next to me?

“Sasha!”

From across the dance, someone shrieked and Sasha and I both turned. A girl I had never seen before made a beeline for us, all legs and glitter. The closer she got, the farther I felt myself lean away from Sasha, my small amount of self-assurance not match for her blond highlights and tiny waist.

“I’ve been looking for you! What are you doing over here?!”

Wrapping her arm around Sasha, the glitter girl kissed him on the cheek, leaving red sparkle lipstick all over his face.

“Brianne, this is Grace!” Sasha looked over at me and smiled, introducing me to my worst nightmare.

“Hey!” Brianne smiled, and then pointed Sasha’s attention over to the other side of confetti-strewn student center. “The guys are over there. They want you to come back!”

As she and her long limbs began to pull him away, all Sasha seemed able to do was turn to me and smile unevenly, whisked down the steps before either of us could open our mouths.

I didn’t stay at the dance much longer after that. A girl can only go through so much embarrassment in one night.