I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve always believed in soulmates. And no matter how many times I’ve gotten my heart broken or experienced the shitty parts of the male/female drama that comes with each relationship, I’ve always kept faith that I’d one day find that certain guy who would sweep me off my feet and that would be it.

(I know it probably sounds ridiculous to the realistic and cynical people out there.)

Since I love a good chick flick, I went to see Definitely, Maybe this past weekend. I wasn’t expecting much; I actually thought it would be one of those movies I regretting spending $10.00 on. But to my surprise, I loved it. Not because Ryan Reynolds was the lead character. Not because there was this fabulous happy ending. But because it got me thinking about relationships.

You never know who you might end up with.

Reynolds goes from his college sweetheart to her friend, back to his college sweetheart and finally winds up with his best friend — the girl who stuck with him through all the canceled engagements and turmoil. There were periods in his life where he was filled with uncertainty, where he was alone and in search of someone to love. But when he would finally settle into a relationship again, it seemed to be all about the timing, about when his path crossed with someone again or for the first time — not so much when he wanted it to happen, but when he was ready for it to.

I think that all of his experiences were realisitc and very relatable. We’ve all been there where we think we’ve found “the one” and couldn’t imagine life without them. But for some reason or another it doesn’t work out. And devestation sets in.

But then, someone else comes a long to remind us that he’s better than the last guy. And again we think, maybe this is it, when it turns out, yet again, that it isn’t. Things fall apart, you’re forced to let go, lick your wounds, and regain strength for the next person you fall in love with.

It all sounds so crazy. Why go back for more and risk getting hurt?

The thing is, without the pain and the lessons we learn through each relationship, we wouldn’t be the people we are today; we wouldn’t know what we wanted in our ideal mate; and we ultimately wouldn’t be able to experience all of the good stuff, those intoxicating feelings you get when you see that person or kiss that person or spend time with that person. Those moments you share are worth all the suffering because honestly, when it comes down to it, the good things are what we remember most often.

Beyond all of this, what I took away from the movie was that I may be dating the person I’m going to marry. But I may not. Right now, I see the possibility but who knows what will actually happen. It’s scary, but I keep reminding myself to just take it day by day and not be so worried about the definite-ness, but be more mindful of the maybe-ness.