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My name is K, and I was in a sorority.
That is, I’m an alum. I still wear my butt-shorts to sleep at night and my Greek Week t-shirts to the gym. I have sorority jewelry, and my best friends are people I pledged with. I may or may not have my affiliation listed on my resume. And I am not ashamed.
What does irk the hell out of me, though, are the characters who, post-college, find it appropriate to judge me and still make the same assumptions that were made in college. Just a heads up, kids, but just like no one cares if you were cool in high school, no one could care any less whether you were cool in college. And by hating on me for being Greek, you’re definitely no cooler than the next a**hole.
Sure, I partied, but so did a large percentage of the independents (oh that’s right, there’s a label for them, too). Shocker, sorority girls aren’t always the drunk mess you expect them to be.
So let’s clarify a few things, shall we?
#1. No, I did not buy my friends. Surprise! I actually have other friends who aren’t Greek. Who cares where or how you meet people if they’re quality? I lucked out; my house was full of girls I clicked with, many of whom will probably be in my wedding. I could just as easily say you bought all your college friends because you paid tuition to attend a university with thousands of other people, right? You’re electing to join an institution where you will happen into people…. kind of makes you a hypocrite to call me out. I’m not picking people to hang out with based on whether or not they were in a frat or sorority in college, and if you are, you’re living a sad, sad life.
#2. No, I am not going home with you. I hate nothing more than a guy who asks if I was in a sorority in college, particularly at the bar. As soon as I answer, the same smirk spreads across each of their faces. Stop it. I have standards and I’ve encountered enough shady characters to realize that you don’t meet them.
#3. No, I am not living off of mommy and daddy still. And no, you cannot get on my bar tab.
#4. Actually, I’m not just another dumb blonde. My GPA was probably better than yours. Study Tables, helloooo.
#5. We don’t photograph those pillow fights you hear about. Thanks, those are just for us…. when and if they happen at all.
Ultimately, my decision to pledge just created a different college experience for me. Just me. Not you. What I did didn’t affect you then, and doesn’t impact your life now. So why do you care? If you were part of the Greek system, you understand it and you can bond with people over it. If not, you have no reason to hate just because we were in a different club. ‘Kay?
I’m off to catch the Spring Break episode of GREEK, thanks. I have a thing for Kappy.
[photo courtesy of americaneagle.com]
25 Comments
Haha, this sounds like a very angry post.
I’m thinking I might pledge though. Sounds fun.
The author’s snotty tone and self-centered attitude are exactly the reasons I disliked the sorority girls in college. Thanks for confirming what I believed all along. K, get over yourself!
Amazes me how you can pick up a “tone” from a post online. Great post K! I think I might pledge my junior year !
You can’t compare college admission with sorority pledging, because college is predominantly an academic institute, while a sorority is social. Making friends is important in college, but not a requirement. However, if you don’t make friends in your sorority, the entire concept of Greek life is undermined.
I’m not saying that you bought your friends, but making friends through the Greek system is kind of like online dating: there’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s just a tad less wholesome than the usual way.
The whole Greek system is a load of bullshit.It’s for shallow materialistic snobs.
Wow so much greek hate. We dont hate you for not being in a house, why must you waste energy on us? We just made a choice - if you disagree, fine. But don’t get all high and mighty because you didn’t have the same fun activities and social events taht we did.
soooo if people who are not part of a sorority called independents, does that make sorority members dependents? hmm, interesting. i think i’ll continue being greek-free then, thanks.
I only disliked the sorority girls at my college for one simple reason: they fell head first into the stereotype that they have to be stuck up and party all the time. Anyone who was not in their sorority was either A) a loser or B) ugly in their minds. And I heard that straight from their mouths. I do not believe that all sorority girls are like this but thanks to the lovely ’sisters’ at my college I do not generally like them. But you know after a conversation and finding out what they’re really like I change my mind. I just suffer from believing the stereotype most people believe. Stereotypes unfortunately suck people in.
I agree, there was an angry, hostile tone to this article and at the end I simply ask “who cares?”
Groups always have that (surprisingly small comparing to the whole) percentage of people who live up to the stereotypes of that group. To set yourself away from them is to continue to walk to your own beat, and not to another person’s beat.
I also get a lot of judgment from people (especially GDI guys) when I explain that I’m still involved with my sorority as an alumna. I am on the advisory council of my collegiate chapter, and I still go to a lot of meetings, workshops, conferences, etc. It’s something I really enjoy… but a lot of guys see it as lame that I’m still doing it. Oh well!
Nicole, I loved your commentary, and agree with others who realize that hey, we’re not all the same. Yes, there are some horrible people in the Greek system, anyone can see that. But that’s not indicative of everyone’s behavior. You can’t judge us all by one terrible person, we’re all (shockingly) individuals.
I don’t think there’s much delineation at all along the Greek/Non-Greek lines. All types of people join houses (and don’t join) so I don’t see how you would be able to make a judgment based on the fact they decided to rush. What house they were in however, might tell you something. But that’s true of any grouping - what school they went to, where they’re from, what their family was like… Stereotypes sometimes ring true…so what.
Gaaahhh. THANK YOU. As a recent graduate and sorority alum, I am so sick and tired of having to defend the Greek system.
If the independents don’t have to defend their choice not to be Greek, why should I have to defend my decision to be?
And don’t even get me started on all the stereotypes that popped up after the drug bust at SDSU last year. One bunch of douchebags are not representative of an entire nation of fraternity and sorority members.
This is kind of like that time I admitted I was a Christian online. Everybody goes OMG BUT FRED PHELPS IS EVIL and assumes my life is composed of equal parts guilt, hate and stupid.
Sure, yeah. There were sororities at my school that made me embarrassed to be *attending* my school, but there were sororities that– had I not been busted broke and a lucky member of the general nerd group– I’d have been proud to join.
The problem is that the stupid sororities and fraternities are SO MUCH MORE PUBLIC. Because, you know, rude people tend to get in your face more, play obvious drama games more, and be generally nastier to everyone in public than nice, thoughtful, otherwise-occupied people.
So sheesh, guys, give the Greeks a break. If one of them really, really sucks, you can just tell ‘em they’re the reason everyone hates sorority girls.
I have met many people in the greek system because my university, Purdue, has the 3rd largest greek system in the US. I have come to find that people in both fraternities and sororities judge you more by the letters on your chest than content of your personality. For you soon-to-be ’sisters’ out there, be sure to ask a guy what his name is before you ask him what house he’s in. It shows us how shallow and naive you are.
I’ve known some non-stereotypical frat guys (some of my best friends) but I’ve never had any dealings with non-stereotypical sorority girls. I mean I’m sure they exist but the girls I have know before they joined a sorority changed so much after they joined. They all became the stereotypical backstabbing stuck-up bitches that you think of when you picture a sorority girl. But like I said I just haven’t met any, not hat they don’t exist (here’s hoping they do anyways)
As a sister of a sorority that has turned out top researchers for major pharmacueticals (Wyeth, GSK, etc), several Fulbright winners, a Rhodes scholar, countless Phi Beta Kappa members, and some of the top flipcup and pong players in the Philadelphia region, I’d just like to point out that there IS a balance in there. Some people don’t find that balance and have to leave school because they spend too much time partying, but very, very few of those people at my college are Greek.
I’m lucky enough to attend an institution that is accepting of Greeks, and even more lucky that the school is small enough for people who aren’t Greek to understand that we deserve as much respect as we give them.
My question is whether or not you people really think those “stereotypical sorority girls” would be any different without letters, academic standards, and strict community service/philanthropy requirements,
The university that I go to has a very large, and very obnoxious Greek system. In fact, one of the fraternities’ houses is the old governor’s mansion (I’m not sure if this is common at other schools or not). Different fraternities and sororities are constantly being kicked off campus or reprimanded for their behavior towards their ‘brothers/sisters’ or to pledges. Quite frankly, I think that’s ridiculous. How can you call someone your ‘brother’ or ’sister’ when you treat them the way that you do? I know a few people in the Greek system (my brother being one of them) and I’ve seen some of the cruelest and most vicious behavior from them.
And yes, there is a stigma that comes with being part of the Greek system. It used to be a very respectable way for people to socialize and network with small mixers and happy hours. Now? Now it is a way for girls to wear short skirts, skimpy tops, do keg stands and for guys to enjoy it all and learn that much more quickly how to demoralize and take advantage of women. Yes, there is a stereotype associated with sororities and fraternities, and for good reason too. Sure, you have your ’study rooms’ or ’study hours’ or what have you, but you also make complete idiots of yourselves for the sake of a ‘good’ time. Please. Really? Do you really think that it was worth all of those mornings wondering what really happened the night before or who this guy is in your bed? I really doubt it. I think the Greek system has become a way for high school students that were popular to be able to feel that they retain that same sense of superiority and it’s sad.
That’s just my $0.02.
And Lauren from Univ. of Michigan: I had a lot of fun events and social activities, as you like to call them, well outside of the Greek system and I didn’t have to pay hundreds of dollars a semester to do so. Your insinuations by your statement are entirely arrogant and really do prove that the Greek system produces some of the most self-centered and socially inept individuals in the country.
Kim, I’m sorry you had to have such an awful experience with the Greeks that you’ve come into contact with. I can only hope that you and others won’t sink to such a level as judging all Greeks by those same standards. You wouldn’t dare judge other campus organizations that traditionally come with stigmas (Christian groups, Muslim Students Association, Hillel, Feminist groups, Gay Straight Alliance, etc) that way, would you?
as a transfer from a large public to small private, sorority deactivate-tee, and lavaliered girlfriend of a member of the executive council of a chapter of lambda chi alpha, i’ve ran the gamut of greek experience, here.
the thing about it is, we all judge, unconsciously even, on affiliations. everything we do tells the world a little more about us and what’s important to us. we line our associations accordingly to our morals and views, would you not disagree?
the stigma that greek life has is self-inflicted. there’s no way around that. it may not be the individuals’ faults within a given organization, because i certainly know the most wonderful, level-headed frat boys in the universe, and i also know (albeit few) good-natured, amazing sorority girls. the attitude of this post (which is obviously intentional) does nothing to credit greek affiliation. K, if anything, you did the exact opposite. if someone truly does judge you negatively for being in a sorority, would it not be more effective to tell them the wonderful things you got out of the experience, instead of retorting back with trite sarcastic comments that fall on deaf ears? i hate to be one of those english majors, but there’s a martin luther king quote that you would do well to look up, something about a dirty glass of water, and clean glass of water.
Most of the bitchiest, cattiest, sluttiest, most stereotypically “sorority girl” type of girls were not, in fact, in a Greek organization at all. And some of the nicest, most caring girls with high morals that I have met have been in a sorority. And having been on both sides of Greek life, I know that sucky people are everywhere and there’s no more chance to run into them in a sorority than in your own classroom.
Women in soritys are so kind and beautiful and sexy and virtuous and knowledegable and helpful and honest and each every girl is extremely loving. We apreciate the sanity that you give and take. But mostly we love strong in the mind intelligent thoughtful women who lead in a good direction offering spontaneous fun and shelter from the hard things. Thankyou for the depth of show,stage,dance and personality. Being unique sometimes in a group like this is important to me because it is a competion I wanted to win.
Love your anymous admirer,
In need of attention
I love men!
The Greek system has definitely managed to inflict some stereotypes on itself. This post doesn’t help alleviate the problem.
I’ve met some real great frat guys at my university, and then some real idiotic ones. Pretty much all of the sorority girls have turned out to be idiots, which is sad considering that many of those girls were sweethearts during highschool.
However, I’m sure that there’s plenty of kind sorority girls out there as well. Chances are that many of these girls are incredibly unconfident and have developed a tough exterior to deal with it. The greek system at all but elite schools is usually a system designed to get sex from the freshman sorority girls. The guys in the frats pretty much have it down to a science. It seems like the junior/senior sorority girls are more prude, though. We also have a problem with sorority girls not choosing challenging majors, and dropping out early.
Really, the problem is the individual girls who act like idiots, not the greek system.
This makes me hate you even more then i did just on the pretense that you were a sorority girl.
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