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Lately there has been a lot of talk of Promise Rings as a sort of pre-engagement commitment. I just can’t seem to grasp this whole trend.
A promise ring?
Maybe it’s all the religious hype that typically surrounds them, or maybe I don’t understand what the promise is, exactly (a promise to love each other? To save yourself for that person? To not cheat or stray?), but they just don’t make sense to me.
I thought being in a committed relationship meant all that already, so why a promise ring?
People have told me I’m unromantic and cold, but here’s the thing: I’m not unromantic. I’m a realist. I believe people fall hard and then get hurt hard. I also, however, truly believe that people do fall in love, but I don’t think all the hoopla is necessary in order to prove or show it.
I, personally, don’t think it’s necessary to use a piece of jewelry to prove your love for someone. Some may argue that the jewelry is a symbol of your love, but I think actions and emotions expressed are sufficient enough. My boyfriend and I love each other, but a ring isn’t what I need in order to keep our love in my heart.
I always thought promise rings were something that teenagers did as a way to devote their puppy love to each other. Or couples being separated in some way; if your boyfriend is going off to Iraq and he wants to give you something to remember him by - just in case - I get it. But a promise ring when you see the person all the time and are practically engaged already?
Why?
I don’t get it. And I probably never will.
16 Comments
i always thought of them as a little reminder, because for some people its out of site and out of mind.
and maybe its because nowadays, a guy doesn’t give a girl his pin, or class ring, or letter jacket, so maybe people are just looking for something like that.
for me, a oversized hoodie that smells like me is good enough to share.
sight**
i swear i’m not retarded
I think it’s just a lame way for girls to get their guy to buy them jewelry.
The strangest part to me is that they’re like a pre-engagement engagement. What?! That doesn’t even make sense. If you love each other and want to be committed to each other, just get engaged. If you’re not ready for engagement, why do you need a ring?
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly four years, and for Christmas three years ago, he gave me a very simple small promise ring.
At the time, we were in a long distance relationship (he was away at college, I was still in high school), and the ring served as a reminder that he was always near me in my heart ( I know, it sounds like something from a Lifetime movie, but hey, I was 16).
Now that our relationship has evolved and we go to school 10 minutes from each other, it’s a reminder that the work and effort it takes to keep our relationship alive is worth it.
Maybe we’ll get married someday, and maybe before we get engaged, I’ll upgrade to a promise ring that represents our current relationship, but regardless, having a physical reminder of him always with me is very important.
one time i bought my boyfriend a mens ring just as a little gift, but at the time i didnt consider it a promise ring or anything. he has jewelry from different important people in his life that he always wears, such as an uncle that passed, so when we were starting to get long-term, i thought it would be cool to give him something from me to wear.
I also don’t get it. I’ve always thought it was stupid when my friends boyfriends gave them promise rings. And more often than not, they ended up breaking up! Dumb doesn’t even cover it. I agree its just another excuse for guys to buy their gf’s jewelry. If you really need that kind of “reminder” of your significant other so you don’t stray, then maybe you shouldn’t be with them.
Note:
I mean no offense to those with promise rings. I just agree with the author of this post, and don’t get it! So please don’t take offense to what I said, just my personal opinion.
Yeah, I agree, it doesn’t really make a lot of sense. If you’re going to give your gf a “promise ring” you might as well just give them an engagement ring. It’s basically the same thing. I mean it’s cool if your boyfriend just wants to give you a ring as a gift, but why does it have to be like a pre-engagement, engagement ring? I just don’t get it.
i don’t understand them. a pre-engagement engagement ring… it just doesn’t make any sense to me… “so you’re engaged?” “no, its a promise ring” “so… its a promise to give you and engagement ring one day?” “yeah” “ok…”
why don’t you just give them a nice necklace?
I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, and I totally agree… but I have one! My boyfriend and I both got each other one (yes, he actually wears one, too!). Mine does not look like an engagement ring, though. We did it because we wanted to give each other something that had a lot of meaning to both of us (and I have gotten a necklace and bracelet from him before, as well, so a ring is another piece of jewelry). I think it was even more amazing for me that he’d actually wear one because it shows a lot of commitment that an unmarried guy would be willing to wear a ring on his ring finger. We never really did the “OK NOW HERE’S THE PRE ENGAGEMENT ENGAGEMENT,” but it was just a way of symbolizing the relationship we already have. I know if we didn’t exchange them, we’d be just as committed, just as in love… but it was just a personal choice, and looking at it really can give me comfort when I miss him or I’m going through a hard time (just like his hoodie would, but I’m able to take this everywhere!).
So actually I have a promise ring and he’s romantic and gives me “just because” cards anyway, he does romantic and thoughtful things all the time..I dont need a ring to keep our love in my heart. It was a gift that means something to us. What really bothers me is phony people- so if you (whoever) personally don’t believe in them or “understand” do me a favor and don’t ask to see it or tell me its beautiful because then thats just a sack of shit- and a great reason to write an article
I always just thought of promise rings as a big sign for guys to know a girl has a boyfriend and vis-versa.
to me promise rings are childish & a bit high scoolish. But if someone wants to puchae a ring for a gf/bf why not? it is just a piece of jewlery. I have been given rings before and it is just a symbol of affection, not a promise to get married! i mean would u really say “NO” from a pretty ring from your BF??
im in my 3rd year of high school and have known brandon for 3 years but have dated for only 3 monthes and he wants to get me a promise ring, now i get into my story. like normal starting out couples we faught, so i wanted to see if he was still mad or w.e. well my dad has a buisness phone that he never uses so i used it and started texting him. i told him i was a girl at a party he just recently was at and told him i was named vanessa and that i wish i could have talked to him there and so on, he bought it and began to flirt and talked sexual to her. that started on the 21st and now its the 28th, he doesnt know yet that its me. he brings up getting me a promise ring everyday and even posted it on facebook to everyone! so…what now? does he love me? and he does care for me like a bf would not only does he buy me stuff he drives to my house everyday wich is 45 min away and sends me these long texts saying how much he loves me and cares for me and so on ever morning for me to wake up to. but then he texts (vanessa) once a day saying nasty stuff to her that i dont want to hear. so…what do i do? if anyone wants to help or has an opinion thatd be pretty cool.
My bf and are geing pomise rings && it has nothign to do w pre-engagement. i never even thought of them as that type of thing. i want to get my bf a promise ring just to show him that i reallycare about him and love him bc even though hes 19 yrs old, im his first serious relationship and hes never had someone actually love him before. its just a way to show him that im serious and im not going to just date him for a while and then just turn into a total bitch. it has nothing to do w engagement pre engagement marriage or any of that stuff i’m in hs and hes in college so i dotn get to see him allll the time. so its nice to ahve something to remind eachotehr that were still there.
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