I don’t know about you, but growing up, I was definitely not confident.

Most of my insecurities stemmed from the fact that I was deemed “gifted” in grade 2 and taken out of class for one day every two weeks for enrichment activities. Since I was only 7 at the time, no one, including myself and my teachers, hid this from the other kids and, for a couple years, I didn’t see any need to. I was still a normal student, only I got to do harder schoolwork.

Then grade 5 rolled around and my teacher basically created an entirely separate curriculum for me, segregating me from all my classmates. And that’s when the bullying started. I’ll spare you the story, but basically my friends abandoned me, calling me a “freak.” I know now that this was only out of jealousy, but up until recently, it hurt. As a result of this, until grade 10 I was content to be quiet, simply finishing my work and not really getting involved for fear of ridicule. I even pulled out of the gifted program for a while in an attempt to fit in.

And then in grade 10, something happened. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment or reason, but I decided to get involved. I joined our student council’s cabinet and attended a 4-day leadership conference and slowly but surely began building my confidence. I made friends within student council and leadership groups who were like me; smart, motivated and, honestly, a little bit weird.

During grade 11, this confidence began taking over even more and I was voted onto student council executive and as the editor of the school newspaper. I even campaigned for school president! Basically, I took a chance getting involved and boy, did it pay off! Now I am one of the most confident people I know. I can honestly say I just do not care what anyone thinks of me and if at the end of the day if I’m proud of myself and my accomplishments, then that is all I can ask for.

I think self-esteem and confidence is the absolute key to happiness. When you are no longer seeking anyone’s approval but your own, you are liberated. And even the old cliche “You must love yourself before anyone else can love you” is true. When you’re confident people just gravitate towards you. You take chances, make mistakes and get messy and don’t feel guilty about enjoying life to the fullest. It may sound selfish, but you’re living for yourself — and I find that to be true happiness.

Of course, I’m making it sound easy. There is no foolproof system, nothing you can order from an infomercial is going to bring you self-esteem. You need to find it within yourself. As I said before, getting involved helped me. I think this is because I was able to see my skills being put to use and benefiting others. I had tangible proof that I have something great to offer the world.

So get out there, whether it be volunteering or even excelling at work, once you prove to yourself that you are worth it, you’ll start appreciating yourself too.

Another technique that may seem silly, but I SWEAR it helps, is to get a mantra. Mantra’s are chants used in meditation, but you’ll just be reciting yours to yourself all day. Choose an affirming statement like “I am beautiful inside and out,” or “I am a great person” and just make a point of telling yourself that often, like 10 times a day. We are our own toughest critics and I think we need to give ourselves a break. So you made a mistake, but you know what? If you’re still breathing and your heart is still beating, then it’s not the end of the world. Get up, dust yourself off and keep going. If you let every little setback ruin your day, you’ll miss out on all the beauty of the life right in front of your eyes.

[What tips and tricks do YOU have for confidence building?]

(photo from www.theage.com.au]