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A few nights ago, while staring idly at tiny print in a huge history book, I got a call from one of my best friends who goes to college right next to mine. Because of the rush of Back To School shenanigans, we hadn’t hung out in a few weeks, so it was nice to ignore work for a while and catch up. As she talked about her wild weeks, she mentioned that she had met two guys and had already been out with both of them once.
“It’s so weird!” she said, her voice stretching into a smile. “It’s been one and a half years of nothing, and now I’ve met two cute, nice-seeming guys in the last two weeks.”
“Dude, that is awesome.” I turned away from my history book and looked out my small window. “Just make sure you save some cute, normal guys for the rest of us.”
As my friend continued to talk excitedly, I continued to cheer her on. Because I was happy for her, you know? She’s a fabulous girl who’s completely down to earth, cute as a button, and is sure to be a famous fashion designer some day (without the bored, holier-than-thou attitude of most designers). I was glad she had found some prospects.
I was something else too, though. Something I didn’t even know I was until I hung up the phone. I was worried. If she gets a boyfriend, a tiny voice whispered in my ear, I’ll be one of the only single people I know. She can’t get a boyfriend! Maybe those guys won’t work out.
As soon as I realized I had thought those things, I felt gross. How could I wish my friend bad luck in love? How could I hope that one of the best girls I know stayed single? Who was I, Lauren Conrad?
When it comes down to it, I know those negative thoughts were probably less about what I hoped for my friend and more about my own stupid insecurities. It wasn’t that I didn’t want my friend to be happy, it’s that I’m afraid I’ll be alone and single forever and end up as that weird “aunt” who isn’t really an aunt and always gets just a little too drunk at parties in the suburban family homes of all my friends. I feel insecure about my lack of dates, and I want people to feel insecure with me. Insecurities are so much easier when someone is feeling them right alongside you.
So I’m happy for my friend. Definitively, I’m happy for her. I’m also learning how to deal with my petty worries about boyfriends and being a weird lushy “aunt.” Things are going to work out for both of us, momentary jealousy aside.
[What about you? Have you ever felt this sort of thing before? Share and unburden yourself!]
9 Comments
Ughh I am so going to end up being that “aunt.” Hopefully, though, I’ll be the cool one that travels all over the world, has lots of Lovahs, and helps you sneak a beer when the parents aren’t looking. I’d be be okay with that.
Yep yep. I’m pretty much the only single friend in my group of friends. I’m trying to see it as being positive- I get to go see a bunch of different guys, while they are stuck with their same old boyfriend day after day.
It does stink though, especially when I’m invited to go places with them.. then get there and suddenly it’s a couple outing and I’m left being a 5th wheel. Fun times.
My best friend and I went back and forth about this for quite some time. Things were going really well for her with this one guy and I was single, then while she and her guy were on a break, I met the most amazing guy. At that point, she decided that we could never be happy at the same time, which ultimatly upset me (for obvious reasons), but as soon as she stopped looking at what I had and what she didn’t, she and her guy got back together and we are both extremely happy with what we have.
Basically, I am just saying that we both had to stop looking at what the other had and stop lusting after it, because (as cliche as this is) you can’t find love while you’re looking for it.
Uh…I lived with 5 of my girlfriends in a house my last year of college, and all of them had boyfriends except for me. And they all went on a couple’s spring break together to Florida. I went to Acapulco with another group of girls and had a FANTASTIC time, but sitting around listening to them dish about their guys all the time while I was struggling with random hookups and being slighted by different guys at school kind of sucked.
And it didn’t help that when I went home, all of my close girlfriends from home were in relationships too…
Yeah. My bff from high school, who abhored men all her life, got herself a boy already. And I am still guyless.
I was always the single one in my group of friends, both in high school and in college. It was actually sort of weird, that just about EVERY SINGLE one of my good friends (even males) had a significant other. And I haven’t had a technical boyfriend since my sophomore year in high school. I’m now almost 23…
Sad day, haha.
How about trying to be happy for your ex-boyfriend who can now be seen around campus… ours is a very small liberal arts university, so there’s no esacping it?
I know I should be happy for him, but I’m quite jealous that he got into a new relationship before I did.
Gah. Totally get it.
One of my best friends is floating on cloud 9 these days because she’s met a guy and they really like each other and are now dating.
And I’m still single. *siiiiigh*
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just super envious of her lovesick glow.
I want to glow too!!
I completely understand. My bff has been with quite a few boys and has been engaged 3 times. Every time she’s been soooo happy and glowed like no other! And DAMMIT! I want to glow too!
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