Sometimes I run into people I just don’t want to see. And I usually avoid (at all costs) the opportunity to shmooze for one of two reasons:

1. I don’t like them. I don’t care to hear about their life after high school and I don’t care to hear about it now. Besides I’m almost always way too tired to put on my overly-friendly-pretend-to-care fake voice anyway.

2. I do like them. So much so, I want to impress them. Perhaps said person is cute… and at the moment I’m totally not.

I had myself a case number two the other day in yoga class. Nothing like seeing the “cute-younger- guy who I last saw four years ago and made a fool of myself in front of” while doing a Down Dog, not to mention sweating like Ross Gellar after he tried pivoting that couch. (You all know what episode I am talking about…Pivot!)

Clearly I hoped to have seen “cute guy” at a time when I looked hot — even a half-nice appearance would’ve sufficed. But nooo; the man upstairs likes to put me in awkward situations. Guess I should have taken my mom’s advice….

Due to this unfortunate incident, I’ve come to a realization: when I bump into people I don’t particularly want to see or vice-versa, there is usually an unspoken routine that we all partake in to avoid eye-contact/be recognized.

The Head Down and turn move: you avert your eyes or turn your head in the opposite direction and make it seem as though you are looking at someone else or are extremely engaged in something else.

The “I am so caught up in my technology to notice you”: You look at your cell phone, flip it open and closed a few times, press some buttons, even make a call… Or you go the iPod route, pretending to change songs (even though you really like the song that is on so you just fidget with your ipod to make it seem as though you are doing something).

The “Pivot and GO!.”: This usually happens in case number two. Where you wish you saw the person under different circumstances. So you turn around and walk in the other direction hoping to avoid the person at all costs.

The Purse-search: Head buried down like you are clearly digging for gold at the bottom of your bag. Whatever you are looking for is totally consuming you — just walk and dig, walk and dig, walk right by that person. Hey, it’s not your fault huge purses are soo in style that everything just falls right to the bottom!

The One Liner: In a worst-case-scenario where you just can’t avoid the person, you drop the quick “Hey! How are you? So good to see you! Sorry I’d love to catch up but I’m in a rush!” line so fast you feel the need to stop to catch your breath afterwards.

Usually my theory is it doesn’t hurt to say hi to someone. I mean, being a little bit fake for five minutes hasn’t killed anyone (yet). Plus, nothing is more annoying then being brushed off by someone you know when it’s pretty obvious they’ve seen you. Well at least until you have to do it to someone else. Then it all makes sense.