Bodies are awkward things. And when you add some pumping and grinding from sweaty sex, there are bound to be a few mishaps. Lucky for you I have ample experience in screwing up during sex—and learning the ways to gracefully cover my ass.

You give him a bloody nose. So, you get caught up in the heat of the moment. There were limbs flying in every direction and maybe your knees were somewhere around the vicinity of your face. First, assess the situation. Grab a towel (or a tampon…didn’t anyone else watch She’s the Man) to clean up the mess. Is it something that can’t be fixed with a little low down lovin’? Nine times out of ten, a BJ can fix anything… even a little bloody nose.

He pulls the shocker. They don’t call it the shocker for no reason. That shit is shocking! If you dig it, go with it. If you’re not so into the move just let your man know. Or just move his hand. It is your body after all and it’s good to show them what you do—and don’t—like.

You thought your period was over. And instead of your white shorts, it got all over your guy. Almost as bad as the red on white mishap is mistaking your period as over when you’re doing the deed. Guaranteed a little bit of I’ll wash your back if you wash mine shower sex will solve both problems in no time.

Your body makes some noise…like a fart. Or a queef. It’s embarrassing, yes, but totally natural. With all that commotion down there, your body is bound to respond in a way you don’t necessarily appreciate. Anyone remember Gak? That’s kind of what it’s like. To recover, all you have to do is really get into it. Some moans and groans will totally cover up any other noise he thought he might have heard.

He nibbles on your nipple like a chew toy. Pull his face to yours and start kissing him. Then show him how you like it done. For God’s sake don’t let him continue. You will regret it tomorrow. Trust me.

The best advice is to take a sex slip-up lightly. These things happen and next time you’ll be prepared to casually cover it up like it was no big deal at all.