The end of August is rapidly approaching. Your room is filled with overflowing boxes, you’re hugging your friends goodbye and you finally feel as if you’re fully prepared to launch into collegiate life, especially after reading Solmaaz’s wisdom on What Not to Do in College.

If you plan on attending a college anywhere besides New York City, Sol’s tips should be read like the Bible.

For those of us who have been granted the opportunity to spend our four years of academic growth (ha!) in the greatest city in the world, things must be done just a little bit differently.

Things you must do in order to survive in one of the toughest cities in the world:

1. Spend your money buying a good, solid wardrobe before you head off to school (because God knows you can’t afford anything at Bergdorf Goodman).

On a regular college campus, you would be able to sport a pair of sweatpants or even (gasp!) pajamas on a typical day. In New York, your 8:30 class will be chock full of girls in full make-up and carefully calculated outfits. Even the majority of male students will appear as if they have stepped away from a runway show for an hour and a half to attend your Level I Spanish class.

Don’t be that schlumpy girl hiding in the last row. Buy the basics and add trendy accessories when you arrive at school.

2. If your school is anything like mine, you won’t have time to begin papers or projects in advance. If you do have loads of extra time, by all means, get on that! Students in NYC are absorbed with extracurricular activities ranging from internships to part-time jobs to wholely established careers in fields such as dancing or modeling. You’re going to have to learn to juggle in order to learn to keep up with the pack.

3. You would think that in a city populated by millions of people, it would be easy to snag a guy. Think again. While I’m lucky enough to have a boy from back home, I’ve witnessed the horrors my friends have gone through. If you find a decent-looking, semi-funny, mediocre guy — snag him. The male population in NYC colleges is made up of two kinds of guys- guys who like guys and guys who like girls — ALL girls, as in, you’ll be old news by next weekend. My roommates have experienced both phenomenons and the result isn’t pretty. After two years, I only have one friend who has been able to nab a boyfriend in NYC.If you’re single, get ready to hustle.

4. Cafeterias in New York City schools are more of a myth than anything else. They’ll be closed nights, weekends, and holidays. When they are open, there will rarely be anything you want to eat. Before you start chowing down, check the history of your school cafeteria’s health violations. You may be surprised. You may also be inspired to invest in a cookbook.

5. If you’re under 21, you will not get into any classy bars, or even the dumpy ones on most occassions. Don’t waste your time shelling out your hard earned cash for a Fake ID from that sketchy guy in Times Square, either. Any bartender or bouncer with any neural activity knows that your Oregon state ID isn’t real. If a bar accepts this sad piece of plastic, they probably would have allowed you in without it anyway.

If Sol’s “What Not to do at College” didn’t have you running for the hills, I’m sure I’ve pushed you closer to this sentiment. Don’t hate me — it’s for the best.

Go in ready to build a strong backbone and fight your way to the top. As you grow accustomed to New York City’s fast paced, competitive lifestyle, you’ll wonder what you were so scared about in the first place.