Remember your first time?

Whether it was awesome or clumsy or downright awkward, most of us at least tried to make it great by the pre-V card-losing ambiance. A little soft music, a two hour window when our parents would be out seeing a movie, some incense…you know, the typical teenage decoration.

What your first time probably didn’t include was a house catching fire and burning down around you.

An 18-year-old German girl made her first time an experience to remember last week when she lit some candles that eventually set her bedroom curtains aflame. Trying to impress her guy with a little soft lighting, the girl ended up burning half her house down, forcing her and her beau to run outside completely naked as flames engulfed the entire upper floor.

In case waiting for the fire department naked while your house smolders behind you isn’t embarrassing enough, a reporter from a local German paper made sure to take a picture of the nude couple and plaster it across the front page.

So friends, no matter how unfortunate your first time was, at least it didn’t end with your bare ass splashed across the front page of the newspaper while your house burned down to a smoldering skeleton. Imagine having to explain that scenario to the ‘rents.