I’ll admit it; I’ve always wanted to be famous. But you see, I’ve never been supremely talented at anything. But with the unabated rise of reality television, I’ve come to realize that you don’t need talent to be famous. You just have to be really, really, REALLY weird.

On that note: Helloooo Chris Crocker!

The person who’s stolen our hearts with his/her defiant (albeit staged… it was a second take!) rant in the aftermath of Britney’s VMA meltdown has signed with a production company in order to develop his own show. Gag me now.

Does it bother anyone else that this guy gets a TV deal?

For one, can we even call him a guy? Shouldn’t it send up warning signals when every single person whom I watch his infamous video with can’t even discern his sex? Would he/she or anyone else be offended if he was referred to as a she-male? Eh, none of this is either here nor there.

The point is, as far as I can tell, this guy has nothing going for him outside of his ability to absolutely creep the living daylights out of anyone who watches him. Sure, we get a laugh out of it the first time we see him, but after that, am I the only person who finds it hard to watch him? And now we’re supposed to watch him in entire half-hour segments?

A show that, according to the Production Company’s founder, will be the “Chris Crocker experience?” The horror! I’d rather be bound, gagged and forced to watch a Teletubbies’ marathon.

The real shame of the whole thing is, his show will probably do really well. It seems that we as a society are totally obsessed in watching the ridiculousness that are the lives of other really weird people. The Hills, the Rock of Love, that show with Scott Baio… We receive a perverse amount of pleasure out of laughing at this people. But at least Brett Michaels and Scott Baio used to be good at something. I don’t even want to get started on the lack of anything substantive possessed by any character on the Hills other than mildly good looks.

So with that said, here’s to Chris(tina) Crocker, the (wo)man who’s turned his/her crying self into a cult hero and would-be TV star.

I’ll leave it to everyone else to let me know how the show turns out. I won’t be tuning in.