I can’t lie; I was out on the town with a hot new guy and almost missed last night’s episode of The Hills.

Ok. You caught me. I was actually at my friend’s house playing Guitar Hero 3. Don’t make fun; that game is so awesomely addicting. Unfortunately, it also causes serious hand cramping and my hand is sorta stuck in this claw-like formation at the moment.

Regardless of what I was doing, though, I almost missed the biggest episode of The Hills all season! Thank God the Pat Benetar song ended just in time for me to hop in the car, drive home and tune into the d-rama.

I did miss the first 5 minutes of the episode, but thanks to those guys over at MTV it wasn’t too hard to pick up on what was going on. Which mainly involved an awkward interaction between Lauren and Heidi (and Whitney and Heidi’s friend who were forced to sit there and watch the entire thing) that eventually led to an even more uncomfortable meeting at Lauren’s place.

Now, watching the IM interaction between Heidi and Lauren really bothered me. Not because of what was being written, but because it just further made me question the reality of this entire series. The camera angles, the fact that Heidi became to insistent about talking to Lauren, etc. just seemed to perfect. But, I will put my thoughts aside for a minute to indulge in the Heidi/Lauren Extravaganza!

First the scene at the bar. Then the IM convo that sent Spencer into a tizzy (could the controlling and manipulative Mr. Pratt be afraid of losing his control over dear Heidi?!). And, finally, the big rendezvous, which Heidi treated like a first date by toting along a dozen beautiful roses.

She enters the apartment and tries to make everything as normal as possible (”Oh! It’s so clean!), but Lauren isn’t having it. And immediately, she makes it clear to Heidi that the roses are not going to soften her one bit. In fact, not only does Lauren tear Heidi down for being in a relationship with Spencer and standing by him through and through, but she verbally bitch slaps her with the “I want to forgive you and I want to forget you” line.

ZING! Take that, Heidi!

I could actually see Heidi’s spirits crumble and her brain start working as she considered a way to get out of that apartment graciously. And exit graciously she did; saying her goodbyes and walking out…without taking those flowers back. I have to hand it to her; I am cheap and proud, so with no forgiveness those flowers would be coming with me. I may also have grabbed a few cute picture frames/vases on my way out. Maybe even that hot Chanel bag LC takes everywhere.

Watching Heidi slink out of the apartment made me feel almost feel bad for her. I mean, Lauren may have a sex tape circulating, but Heidi has this. And no friends anymore. And tons of people in America hating on her. This bitch just can’t win!