Craigslist is Full of F&%cking Weird People: The Old Spanker

24663434.jpgDuring the first couple of blogs in this series, some people were a bit miffed at our “judgemental” and “harsh” treatment of the creator of a certain Missed Connection. Here at CC, we thought he exhibited Type A Stalker Behavior. Other people thought he was just a misunderstood guy who wasn’t quite up to date on how to use an exclamation point.

All differences aside (aren’t they what makes the world go around, anyway? Of course!), I believe those Nice Guy Vigilantes will have a hard time saying stuff about this recent CL Posting.

This post comes from a 63 year old M4W in Long Island. It’s titled “Little One“.

Are you creeped out yet? You should be.

“I am still disappointed that we couldn’t get it together last Fall.”

Really? Still disappointed? It’s Spring, dude. You’ve been feeling disappointed for 7 months about a liaison that happened last Fall? Let me flip through my Weird Stalker Dictionary and see if this…ah, yes! Right here. It says you should MOVE ON.

“Your behind could have been hot and red all this time.”

I’m assuming he means ass, but decided to go with behind because it sounds just that extra bit CREEPIER. I’m assuming he’s trying to sound like an old guy reprimanding a little girl. I’m assuming he’s totally into spanking. I’m assuming the sudden slight nauseous feeling in my stomach is directly related to reading this…

“Since everything seemed ok, how could we have made it work?”

Well, I’m no sex therapist, but did you ever think of calling her, instead of posting a random 3 sentence message on CL?! Things may have worked out better then. Also, props on getting all concerned and gentle after talking about wanting to spank her ass.

Look. Going all Old Man / Young Thang in your bedroom [as long as it’s legal and not anything morally wrong] is essentially completely fine, but fretting over why the object of your butt obsession hasn’t contacted you since last fall on Missed Connections…well, that’s just plain STRANGE.

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3 Comments

  1. mal says :

    CREEPER!!!!

  2. Rose says :

    haha yes! i go on craiglist missed connections allll the time..they are pretty entertaining! here’s one i saw today that was intense/creepy..

    I was sitting out by the fountain today, catching up on a little reading before class when I saw you breeze by on your fixed gear, and parked near me for a rest. You looked fuckin’ sooooo fine. I love you braless, small breasted, smug babes and i seriously would do anything to date you. As you sat down, cross-legged, I caught a glimpse up your terry-cloth shorts, and let me just tell you, it was …:::~HeAvEn~:::… I dreamed about snuggling up next to you, and feeling my goatee pressed against your unshaven bush while you moan out words that would make me blush. Oh if only I could date you, you beautifully hip girl. We could bike around together, listen to ironic music, live our own lives of do’s and don’ts. If only! Ugh….I think I’m going to go jerk off to the AMerican Apparel website…..ungghhhhh…fukkkkkk

  3. Lana says :

    that is hilarous Rose

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