Comments on: Stripper Do or Stripper Don’t: The Girlfriend Dilemma

By: Kari

Kari — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:57:38 +0000

I’m down with the look but don’t touch policy too. I abide by the same rules when I go to male strip clubs (although I am motivated by $10 all you can drink and the sight of hot guys in ridiculously flamboyant thongs doing the flappy dance. Priceless).

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:32:49 +0000

I don’t care if my guy goes to a strip club (just as long as it doesn’t happen all the time, in which he is, in my book, trashy as hell and about to be dumped). I don’t care about strippers because I know it’s just a one time thing and he won’t be seeing her again.

By: Erica - Kent State

Erica - Kent State — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:53:40 +0000

I think that I may be biased because two of my best childhood friends have been or are currently strippers, so I know how they feel about most of the guys that they give lap dances to, etc. They treat their job at the strip joint like I treat mine in the Fin Aid file room — like a job, one that can be exciting & fun at times and dreadfully boring at others. Knowing their side of the story makes me pretty apathetic to the way my man acts at a strip club. Usually, I’m right there with him. If not I’m not, though, all I can do is tell myself that he’s out to have a good time - & if I trust him (like I should if we’re in a relationship), then I just tell him to have fun & not get too sh*tfaced….cause there is no way in hell I’m picking him & his annoying friends up at a strip club @ 3am. =)

By: aly

aly — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:33:29 +0000

i went to vegas with my younger (underage bf)and we went to a bunch of strip clubs. I dont conside myself bisexual but i enjoy hot chicks too. The compromise for me and my bf was no lap dances for him i got a few. i had fun- he got to have a nice time watching me have fun but at the end of the day his hand were only on me (although im sure he was picturing the stripper in bed with us too but whats wrong with attle imagination?)

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:54:50 +0000

ehh.. I’m touchy about this one… it wouldn’t have been so bad had my now-hubby dated a stripper in the past… not just any stripper but the skankiest B*Tch you can imagine… and she was totally rude… anyway, that sullied my opinion so I can’t really say I don’t mind if he goes to a strip club…

I guess as long as it’s not the one she’s STILL working at… then I go by the no touch policy.

By: ela

ela — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 09:19:01 +0000

I can’t believe that men get off on some random naked chick who is thinking about paying her rent while she’s rubbing her tits in his face. It just boggles my mind. do they ignore the facts or what?
I have tits, i’m hot and i can dance like a stripper…but is it just the fact that they don’t know each other that makes it hot?
I guess what i’m trying to say is i don’t understand the psychology of the stripper-going men. When in a group…it’s like ‘man power’ they all feed off of one another but what about those dudes that go alone? I’ll never get it.

Yeah i occasionally like seeing a hot chick but for us women it’s more of a way to compare yourself to other women physically/sensually- or asking yourself…’can i do that hanging upside-down with one leg out thing?’

I dread bachelor parties and thankfully my man ‘hates sluts’ bc of his conservative view on women but at the same time …he’s a DUDE, that can be one great cover for ‘everyday sluts’ that walk on the street but i know he’s going to pop a boner on some other chick’s hoo haa and it makes me want to choke someone!

By: jess

jess — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:26:30 +0000

Yeah, I’m pretty touchy about this subject. It’s really odd, because being completely honest (and I know its gonna sound bad) I know I’m a hot chick, I have a ton of confidence and yet I still have self-esteem issues too. (comes with being a girl I guess) I’m constantly comparing myself to other girls when my boyfriend is around. (He used to be a big ol’ slut when he was single, so that might be part of it, I dunno.) So I want him looking at me, not some other girl, especially a naked one! lol

Anyways, I can’t even imagine knowing he was in some strip club with some chick bent over, rubbing her ass in his face. Its infuriating. Maybe its just because I have issues, but I’m really, really uncomfortable with that idea.

Also, because since most of my friends are guys, I’ve heard several stories about these girls giving out their numbers and actually meeting these guys later on… to some its not just strictly a job. I mean, there are sluts at any work place.

I just dont trust anyone who is:

A. Rubbing HER ass in a taken man’s face. (Not that she would know that…)

B. A guy in a relationship choosing to have another girl’s ass in HIS face…

Just feels like betrayal to me… “shrugs”

By: Ryan

Ryan — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 22:08:23 +0000

As a guy who has visited a strip club or two and enjoyed himself, maybe I help?

When we visit a strip club, it’s more of the fantasy then anything else. A place we can go to and just be… well men. That story about that stripper that offers a little “extra”? I would say 90% time pure BS. As Chris Rock says, “there is no sex in the Champaign room”. Stripper are all about appearing to be available, but never are ( unless the place is a real dump )

So unless your guy is A. Going every weekend or
B. Going by himself all the time, you have nothing to worry about. After all while we are working up our appetite there, we are coming home to you to eat!

By: Lucy

Lucy — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 01:07:49 +0000

I wouldn’t have a problem with a boyfriend going to a stripclub once in a blue moon with some friends or something. Hell, I’d even go with him. People fantasize about other people even when they’re madly in love. It’s human nature. And if you’re both faithful and honest, what’s the difference?

By: kasie

kasie — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 02:11:14 +0000

Ok, my boyfriend has a very rowdy group of guy friends who i might add are all single. and they visit the strip club together it just makes me sick to my stomach thinking my guy is getting a boner from some naked chick who he doesnt know. I agree with what another girl said. it feels like betrayal. I am not about to tell my boyfriend to stop going because he will most likely think i am needy, insecure, and jealous. which jealous and insecure are true when it comes to this case. It just doesnt seem right that a taken man wants to go see some other chicks boobs when his girlfriend has perfectly good ones that she is willing to show ne time he wants.

By: Jaime

Jaime — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:36:53 +0000

A message to Kelly, the writer of this article: Why do you feel the need to try to justify your perception of strippers? If you offend them, so what? thats fine, im sure they can handle it-you know theyve heard it a million times before. I feel a little sad and think of the good ol “what has this world come to?” thought when you dont even feel comfortable saying that you think strippers are disgusting human beings. Are you afraid of losing readers? Here, I can do it for you: I personally know a couple strippers and I think of them as pathetic degenerates. They are nothing more than lazy parasites who dont want to bother to put in the time for a real job, when they can stay at home all day and then sell themselves out for a couple hours, make a ton of money, which will go towards fuelling their coke/shopping addictions/supporting their illegitimate children. They are worthless whores with no soul, no true worth, and I really do believe in karma so good luck to them in their futures….

By: Sammie

Sammie — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:09:30 +0000

This is a tough one but I’m totaly going to be honest… My husband is not going to waste OUR money on some chick who is trying to get a boob job… I understand that this is just for “FUN”, But if he wants to have fun I can for sure show him a great time and for free! Luckily we have talked about this subject and He feels the same way and thinks that it’s not only a waste of money also degrading to his relationship with me…But pretty degrading for the poor soul who is walking around naked for dollar bills..Plus I don’t want him comming home with some kinda of STD on his face or clothing…

By: Kelly - UMass

Kelly - UMass — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:23:09 +0000

In regards to Jaime’s post and - as the writer of this article - I’d like to comment. I do not disrespect strippers and that was the point of not bashing them in this article. As I said, it’s their job and their choice to live this life and who am I to say if what they’re doing is right or wrong. Some strippers are working to put themselves through school to better their lives and I commend their ability to take the path they so choose. What my argument was, was more in regards to how I feel about my boyfriend frequenting a strip club, not about how I feel about the ladies that choose to dance in them.

By: sara

sara — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:07:42 +0000

Actually, I recently went with my guy to a strip club, and the whole thing was a lot of fun. I saw tits rubbed in his face, but in reality it was for maybe ten seconds and he was more laughing and having fun than getting turned on by it. I mean maybe I’m wrong, but I was comfortable with his actions the whole time. He didn’t get any dances, which I respect, but honestly if he goes again without me and gets one then I won’t be upset. I know its a night for him and his guys to have fun, and I honestly believe nothing will come out of it.

Ladies, if you are insecure about your guy at strip clubs, I would recommend going with him the next time, so you can see exactly what goes on and exactly how your guy behaves. And go from there.

In response to Jaime :

You said strippers are “nothing more than lazy parasites who dont want to bother to put in the time for a real job, when they can stay at home all day and then sell themselves out for a couple hours, make a ton of money, which will go towards fuelling their coke/shopping addictions/supporting their illegitimate children”. First of all, the statements at the end are completely ridiculous and hypocritical. You make it sound like all strippers are bad people, which is certainly not true. Not even all strippers are slutty people. I know a girl who works at a strip club on her three month summer vacation, then goes back to college able to pay her full tuition and have enough extra cash to not need to work during the school year, and she gets good grades. I think it was completely unnecessary and harsh to call all strippers “worthless whores”.

By: Kel

Kel — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:49:14 +0000

for me, I want a guy who respects ALL women, not just me. If a girl wants to capitalize on pathetic guys who pay them money to dance more power to them. I am just not okay with a guy who can view a woman as an object, even if she is “presenting” herself that way.

By: ela

ela — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:56:53 +0000

I’m going to start this topic in the forums so anyone who is interested take a peek and we can further discuss strippers and the topic at hand!

By: ela

ela — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:02:43 +0000

oops here’s the link to the forum discussion at TheFrisky: http://www.thefrisky.com/forums/viewthread/228/

i think this is a hot topic on everyone’s minds and it’s very interesting to hear the diverse points of views from women all over the world- so please lets continue!

By: Suzie - George Washington

Suzie - George Washington — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:38:46 +0000

Strip clubs weird me out. There is no way I would want to be with a guy who was comfortable going to one. It’s as simple as that. I just would not be able to deal.

By: Brandi

Brandi — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:47:19 +0000

I despise the idea of strip clubs. It’s almost a form of cheating, if you ask me. Say your man goes out, meets some random girl, and she just rubs herself all over him…and he comes home and informs you of this. That would be an automatic boot out of the relationship for me. Strip Clubs are pretty much the same thing, except the guys are paying for it….ridiculous! If you are in a good relationship with someone, your man should not have to feel the need to go to a strip club.
I REFUSE to let my boyfriend go to one, no matter how needy I may be! He’s mine! lol

By: Brian

Brian — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 06:55:20 +0000

Jaime, I completely agree with you. Most guys do too, but they go to strip clubs anyway, because they’re selfish and enjoy objectifying the women they look at. They like feeling better than the “whore”. I think it’s crap that a woman can be born with tits and use that to exploit money out of the overpowering sexual needs of weak-willed men, and I think it’s crap that men support an industry and individuals when they by and large can’t respect the practicioners of that industry. Kel, I can’t understand how you wouldn’t approve of the men for objectifying women, but you support the women who feed that. It’s like saying that doing drugs is bad but selling them is okay.

This is one man who will never go to a strip club. I don’t objectify women, and I don’t approve of the women who act as parasites on the men who do.

By: JohnE

JohnE — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:33:23 +0000

Discussions like this kill me. People get all self-righteous and lay claim that their opinion is the one everyone should have. If you don’t like nudie bars or dating someone who goes to nudie bars bully for you. I hope that works out for you. I personally like nudie bars I maybe go once a year with my wife. It can be fun and a quite exciting. We go and are there for maybe 30 to 45 minutes and are sold a fantasy. Nothing horribly wrong or really morally objectionable. To those who complain it objectifies women so what. Putting on make-up and having your hair done objectifies you. The sole pupose of these things is to make a more physically attractive sexual object and there is nothing wrong with that.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:17:22 +0000

Brian, nice try, but your women’s studies classmates still aren’t going to let you in their pants.

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:33:24 +0000

Good call, Jeremy. Brian, maybe take a spare moment and grow a pair. See ya at the club!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:13:12 +0000

The question of stripping brings up more than just a girlfriend dilemma. It is a conflict of two ideals that even feminist scholars fight over: exploitation and empowerment.

This really isn’t the forum to get into that debate; however, concerned girlfriends everywhere– I just want to say this: Take one second to stop worrying about what “hoo-hoos” are being shoved into your boyfriend’s faces and think of the society that confronts these women with a choice: Strip or don’t eat.

Of course I am not saying that there are no others jobs they can get. But a lot of women don’t have many options. And many women who end up stripping or working in the porn industry are immigrants or non-English speakers who sell their bodies so they can live.

To me, I am more opposed to my boyfriend’s lap being brushed by a naked ass (that’s not mine, of course) because he would be contributing to the oppression of these women– than because I am worried he is going to get turned on.

Secondly, from the girlfriend’s point of view, I consider it cheating. And not in a deeply emotional, unforgiveable way, but let me put this out there:

Would you be okay with your best friend taking her clothes off and dancing for your boyfriend? How about that random girl from Biology? Do you want your boyfriend learning her anatomy in intimate detail?

No. So what’s the difference?

Just a few thoughts.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:45:46 +0000

Jeremy, I love you.

Stripping is a job. Those chicks don’t want your guy, they want his cash.

By: mike

mike — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:49:20 +0000

so like everything else there are all types of strippers, from the college girl just paying her tuition and not hooking up to prostitutes. and there are all kinds of guys who go, from the ones who see it as more funny than anything else and make fun of ourselves while we are there to the guys who are looking for the special treatment in the ‘champagne room’. the problem isn’t the strip club or the strippers; it’s if you are dating or married to the latter guy. if so you probably know it and will be battling it as long as you’re together. if you’re not dating that guy then relax and have some confidence in his judgement.

By: Dee

Dee — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:24:34 +0000

Brian, I like what you had to say. To jeremy and amy-come on now, not everyone is a media brainwashed, morally void pig. Its ok to have a different opinion once in a while-dont be so narrow minded.

By: Candace

Candace — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 21:22:16 +0000

Ok, For my boyfriend’s birthday, I took him to a strip club. We had this agreement that if he ever decided to go to a strip club, I would go with him. Before we went I had no problem with guys going to strip clubs, especially since it could be something we could do together to have a good time. We were there for over an hour and at first it was fine until this stripper took his hands and was rubbing her boobs in his face. (this club was different in the sense that it was full contact). Anyways, I just lost it for some reason, I had to leave because my eyes started to fill with tears. I didnt think that I would be affected like that and even though people say they are just strippers doing their job and what not, it can still hurt to see or hear that your man touched or watched a woman do something that a couple does in private. I dont think I would have reacted like I did if there was no contact, but i guess I just felt betrayed or disrespected for that second in time because he knew I was there and he still did it in front of me.
So I can relate to both sides of the spectrum. As of now, seeing that this situation only happened two days ago, I am still feeling hurt and I dont accept my boyfriend going to strip clubs any time soon.

By: L

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:25:09 +0000

I have been to a strip club twice, with friends and exes, I’ve gotten a lap dance, and I don’t think I would be bothered by a boyfriend getting one. The only problem I have with strip clubs is if the guy spends too much time or money there. The main concern for me is moderation. It can be a fun night out, but it can also be a waste of money if it happens too often. And as long as they are okay with at least the idea of me seeing male strippers, then I won’t stop the guy.

By: Geegirl

Geegirl — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:04:40 +0000

Candace says :
September 16, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Ok, For my boyfriend’s birthday, I took him to a strip club. We had this agreement that if he ever decided to go to a strip club, I would go with him. Before we went I had no problem with guys going to strip clubs, especially since it could be something we could do together to have a good time. We were there for over an hour and at first it was fine until this stripper took his hands and was rubbing her boobs in his face. (this club was different in the sense that it was full contact). Anyways, I just lost it for some reason, I had to leave because my eyes started to fill with tears. I didnt think that I would be affected like that and even though people say they are just strippers doing their job and what not, it can still hurt to see or hear that your man touched or watched a woman do something that a couple does in private. I dont think I would have reacted like I did if there was no contact, but i guess I just felt betrayed or disrespected for that second in time because he knew I was there and he still did it in front of me.
So I can relate to both sides of the spectrum. As of now, seeing that this situation only happened two days ago, I am still feeling hurt and I dont accept my boyfriend going to strip clubs any time soon.

In response to Candace….

I had a similar experience. I went to the strip club with my friend (female) and my fiance. We were wondering if one of the strippers boobs were fake or real. Me and my friend told my fiance to go find out and ask her. He went up to her and had her rub her titties all up on his face. Seeing that really hurt me. I have never done that to him. I don’t have men rubbing their naked bodies on me, that would be cheating. Now, I can’t kiss him or think of sleeping with him because I just picture the strippers boobs in his face. I felt really disrespected.