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For all intents and purposes, I am a pretty confident gal. I think my personality is the bomb.com, I am funny, I have a great haircut and – when I put on enough makeup – I can look pretty damn good.
But, just like any normal person, I have my insecurities. I am not as skinny as the other girls out at the bar, my boobs are a little…well…little, and no matter how good I look, I know there are Barbie look alikes all around me.
So, I must wonder why on earth I keep finding myself in the arms of some ridiculously good looking guys. Like, the guy you admire from afar but never talk to because you know he’s got a Heidi Klum lookin’ GF on the other side. The same exact guys who would never give me a second look, let alone an orgasm when I was in school.
I am not complaining – far from it – but I just don’t understand why suddenly these sexy, tall, sexy, way out of my league (did I mention sexy?) guys keep wanting me. What is different now from then?
I was discussing this with a friend yesterday – after returning from the clutches of such a man – trying to find some insight. What exactly am I doing that can trick these boys into wanting to see me sans clothing?
“You are not fooling anyone, Lauren,” she yelled at me. “You have a lot to offer. And you prove it to them by approaching them with confidence.”
I didn’t buy the first part, but she had a really good point. People are always talking about confidence being the sexiest thing a woman can have, and I now know it’s true. When you act confidently, everyone around you will notice. They will immediately be drawn to the confidence and realize that there must be something pretty damn awesome about you if you can walk around without a worry in the world (besides that near-empty beer in your hand).
What is different now, I am beginning to see, is that I don’t drift into the background anymore, fearing the rejection of men as they pick up my better looking friends. I don’t stand around waiting for a cute boy to approach me. I rock what my mama (and MAC) gave me, and chase what I want.
And I get it. Sometimes more than once in the night.
And again in the morning.
21 Comments
Men can tell who are the easy bets. Sorry.
Oh c’mon, Stacy, it has nothing to do with being easy. If a man thinks you’re worthless after f*cking you, he won’t call you again. I bet you anything that’s not the case with this chic cause she has her sh*t together.
Lauren: You go, girl!
It’s crazy how on every single post about sex, somebody jumps on the writer for being a “whore.” NOT THE CASE. You go, girl.
haha, i agree with Jill, it’s a bit ridiculous! and i second everyone..YOU GO GIRL! confidence is key! you seem like a very cool person btw, i’m pretty sure you’re my fave. writer on this site!
coughcoughwhorecoughcough
…JK
Lauren - your self confidence is inspiring. GO GIRL!!
Young readers, just to give you a real world heads up, if your look is cute or above and you APPROACH a man you will get laid. It has nothing to do with confidence.
duh.
sorry but i agree with stacy. its true
at the risk of sounding shocking, dwight, i would like to suggest that maybe SOME guys have standards and wont just do anything that moves. especially guys as sexy as lauren seems to get her hands on. good for you lauren, you seem like a really cool girl.
Then there’s really no need for sex appeal if guys will sleep with any girl considered cute. So why does the media want us to try so hard to look good?
“Then there’s really no need for sex appeal if guys will sleep with any girl considered cute. So why does the media want us to try so hard to look good?”
So you buy their stuff. Any decent-looking girl can get what she wants if she just goes for it.
I am totally on board with Lauren here. Confidence is (usually) irresistible to a guy, even when the girl isn’t that hot. Haven’t you ever wondered how these butt-ugly girls snagged that dreamy stud? She just did her thing. (The cynical side of us will say that she just had nothing to lose.) She saved him the horrible lurching feeling of rejection.
Although, I have to say. I’ve tried that whole “approach a guy” thing, and have been (gently) let down, so I’m not too keen on it. I prefer the telepathic “Come to me” approach. I sit and exercise the magnetic appeal of disinterest. And it always works. I’ll have that number in my phone by the end of the night.
i don’t know if this is the right place to post this, but can we please find a way to ban stacey from posting? if she had real arguments and was not posting with the sole purpose to put people down it would not bother me (after all, she would be making a point just like i am) however, now she is obviously just doing this to bother people and judge people, and personally i am sick of it!
on another note, i totally agree with what you’re saying! its so much easier for me to meet guys when i do not care and am having fun and feel good. if only i could act like that ALL the time.!
There comes a point after guys mature a bit where they realize the barbies are annoying, not even that good in bed and a lot of work afterwards. So they back off from them and start looking into real girls and not plastic bleached twats. Having a normal conversation with a smart chick can be a lot more of a turn on than provocative solo dancing by a heidi montag look alike and ‘don’t you want me’ faces, until she’s drunk enough to fall on her knees in the bathroom. True story!
You seem like a nice, smart girl and confidence always makes you prettier than you think you are. But you def kind of put yourself out there a little, esp in your last statements. So I can also see what others are saying to.
Hmmm… I love me?? I think that’s true… Loving me is a pleasure to live happily…
Thanks though
I’m Korean
I feel exactly the same as you Lauren!
Right off the first paragraph - down to the small chest and surrounded by barbies - I could relate to every detail.
And I have to agree i feel the same way when really gorgeous guys seem to be into me. It eventually occurred to me that it’s because i have no qualms about introducing myself or being the one to make the first move. But lately I’ve been wondering if chasing a guy is really the right way to go about things. It makes me slightly uncomfortable that I don’t get guys chasing after me (at least not worthwhile ones).
But for the most part, I have to agree that it takes a whole lot of cajones to be the one to walk up to a guy first, or even give him a coy smile! So power to the confident girls!
“And I get it. Sometimes more than once in the night.
And again in the morning.”
Haha! Word up to that, definitely a good touch on the end.
I like Koreans, what’s up Julie? How you doin? Can I get yo numba?
To Emily, it’s a big bad world out there. Whilst I see where your comming from, and personally disagree with Stacy’s comments (From a male perspective no less), she is entitled to her opinion. It takes a stronger character to rise above that, and ignore her potentially hurtful comments. If that’s the conclusion she’s drawn from her experiences, then who are we to ban her for sharing this with us.
P.S - Confident girls are definantly hot, I think because confidence suggests a strong personality, it is so much easier to be comfortable around someone who knows and likes themselves.
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