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When it comes down to love, I’m a picky jerk. Prince Charming can march his white horse right up to my doorstep with roses and I won’t answer the door because he’s not ‘challenging’ enough. Let me take a moment to recount the ‘problems’ with my most serious of lovers over the last few years.
Guy A didn’t pay enough attention to me.
Guy B paid too much attention to me.
Guy C wasn’t reliable enough but
Guy D just had his life way too planned out.
Guy E wasn’t smart enough while
Guy F wasn’t social enough.
And this is how it always works.
I know deep in my soul that if I ever wanted a relationship to really WORK, I’d have to stop expecting it to be perfect. I’d have to stop throwing in my cards whenever there’s an argument and I’d have to stop climbing up on my pedestal every time I’m offended by a guy.
And I think this is an issue that a lot of people deal with, especially women. It seems to me like guys don’t need too much from a girl to be satisfied. In fact, most of my guy friends would boil it down to: Not being a crazy b*tch, being good in bed, and…uh….not being a crazy b*tch. But for girls, I think it’s a whole different ball game.
He should be funny but not obnoxious, smart but not pretentious, strong but still sensitive, supportive but with his own life, sexy but not sex-oriented, loyal but not obsessive, stable but not predictable, outgoing but enjoy nights in…
Is it just me or are we giving our guys way too much to live up to?
If you want a serious relationship, but you’re expecting your guy to hit the nail on the head with every single characteristic on your Prince Charming list - then I think you might be crazy. Because no one is perfect and that includes him and me..and you. That’s right; you are not perfect. If you are looking for something to hold onto for good, I’d suggest re-evaluating the criteria you’ve got. You may just be trapping yourself in single-land with you’re unreasonable standards.
(Photo from: flickr.com)
7 Comments
my mom always reminds me that there’s no such thing as the Perfect Guy, no matter how perfect he seems. prince charming might seem great, but you know he was playing cinderella.. seeing sleeping beauty and snow white on the side.
just be with the guy who makes you happy, even if he isn’t everything you dreamed of when you were a kid.
Most guys that are cute, sexy, funny, fun to be with, and smart are fully aware of how much girls want their D, so they figure why have one when I can have like three. Monogamy is no fun, and the only guys that are truly satisfied with that are ones old enough to have gotten over the shallow dream of being deeply satisfied by cheap random sex and learned how good the consistency, familiarity, and intimacy of a deep relationship can be. Mr. Smart and Sexy is usually anyone’s Mr. Smart and sexy that wants some.
dude this is just like what men expect from women. they’ll look at the skanky chick in the short shorts and think ‘oh the things i’d do to her’ while the girl he actually wants as a gf has to be ‘virginal’, you have to be good in bed, but not too good otherwise you’re for sure a slut. then you have to be hot but not the hottest bc no one wants everyone looking at their gf all the time. smart but not smarter then him bc then you’ll bust down his ego…. ugh the list goes on and on…sometimes i feel like girls change themselves to be what they think their man wants them to be- then they mess it up bc they should have just been true to themselves….. you know?!?!?!?
Devon,
I’m pretty sure you and I are the same person. All of your articles are pretty much parts of my life that you somehow know about, haha. I love reading your stuff! The double standard thing is really true though, and I think subconsciously girls do that to justify why the guy isn’t good enough. If you like a guy enough, his faults are just overlooked. But if you’re unsure about a guy, one bad thing can send you over the edge.
this sounds lame but recently my best friend & i made a list of requirements for our future perfect men, and the list was around 30. however a lot of them were common sense, like not controlling, decent dancer, motivated/ has aspirations, makes us laugh, good chemistry…
Just find someone you’d ordinarily pass over, not an absolute jerk or a violent guy (you know what I mean), but someone you think is unsexy for a stupid reason. Realize that this reason is bunk, realize that a man’s inability to play sports, dance well, act well, play instruments well, etc., doesn’t necessarily make him a bad or ungenerous lover, and you will find the key to your happiness.
Keep your standards girl they’re set in your mind for a reason. There designed to keep you from marrying a loser, ending up with four of his kids, being generally miserable and then cheating on him. There’s the perfect someone out there for EVERYONE. Just smile everyday and keep looking. But remember, he can’t find you if you’re dating Mr. Loser.
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