Comments on: I Wanted to Have Sex, But I Wanted to Make Him Wait More http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609 Mon, 1 Dec 2008 23:57:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1 By: Elise http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-77408 Elise Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:05:25 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-77408 I am totally cheering for you. See, *this* is power over your own sexuality-- doing what you want to, when you want to, for your own dang reasons that have nothing to do with gaining the guy's approval. Now, no doubt, the 'omg ur such a sLuT' commenters will call you a cocktease. Well done! XD I am totally cheering for you. See, *this* is power over your own sexuality– doing what you want to, when you want to, for your own dang reasons that have nothing to do with gaining the guy’s approval.

Now, no doubt, the ‘omg ur such a sLuT’ commenters will call you a cocktease. Well done! XD

]]> By: Lauren, University of Michigan http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-77418 Lauren, University of Michigan Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:55:24 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-77418 I can't resist a cute man in my bed. I swear; it just HAPPENS. I will be sleeping and the next thing I know I'm jumping him. GOOD WORK. I can’t resist a cute man in my bed. I swear; it just HAPPENS. I will be sleeping and the next thing I know I’m jumping him. GOOD WORK.

]]> By: Jeremy http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-77996 Jeremy Wed, 30 Jul 2008 06:11:52 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-77996 Devon, I was really sad to read this. I think it's great that you love sex and enjoy hooking up with guys. And if a woman doesn't want to have sex without a serious relationship, that's her choice as well. But sex is a complex and emotional issue that deeply affects people, and our choices come with responsibilities. You need to communicate honestly and clearly about sex. You may be laughing, enjoying the thought of tantalizing him and manipulating him, but you're being cruel. It's your choice to have sex with him or not, but if you decide not to, please don't say or do things "knowing this was making him POSITIVE that he would get laid" when you know you're misleading him. Imagine really liking someone. You want to be close to him. You let yourself fall for someone special, and then he tells you he doesn't really like you, that he just wanted to make you think you had something together so he could break your heart. Would you feel deceived and manipulated? Would it hurt? You hurt him a lot. This isn't something to be proud of. This isn't "following your gut". This is mistreating a human being. This is playing games with someone else's feelings. If you aren't ready to have sex with someone, you need to be honest about it, and not try to make him think you'll have sex just to laugh at playing with his heart and dashing his hopes. Elise commented that the people who called you a slut before would call you a cocktease now. I support you having sex freely when you want, and I support you not having sex, and I wouldn't call you names whatever your choice. But I don't support this kind of dishonesty and manipulation. There's nothing empowering about that. I've been in this guy's shoes, and I know how much it hurts to have your heart and mind played with, He's probably wondering what he did wrong and why you turned on him; what the other guys have that he doesn't. He's probably going over the night in his head, wondering what he could have done better, wondering how to get you to like him. Was he too nice? too mean? Should he not have gone to your house? Should he have changed to a different channel than HBO? In fact, he probably didn't do anything wrong... he was just the victim of a woman playing games with him. It hurts. Please don't do that. All you have to do is be honest. Devon,

I was really sad to read this. I think it’s great that you love sex and enjoy hooking up with guys. And if a woman doesn’t want to have sex without a serious relationship, that’s her choice as well.

But sex is a complex and emotional issue that deeply affects people, and our choices come with responsibilities. You need to communicate honestly and clearly about sex. You may be laughing, enjoying the thought of tantalizing him and manipulating him, but you’re being cruel.

It’s your choice to have sex with him or not, but if you decide not to, please don’t say or do things “knowing this was making him POSITIVE that he would get laid” when you know you’re misleading him.

Imagine really liking someone. You want to be close to him. You let yourself fall for someone special, and then he tells you he doesn’t really like you, that he just wanted to make you think you had something together so he could break your heart. Would you feel deceived and manipulated? Would it hurt?

You hurt him a lot. This isn’t something to be proud of. This isn’t “following your gut”. This is mistreating a human being. This is playing games with someone else’s feelings. If you aren’t ready to have sex with someone, you need to be honest about it, and not try to make him think you’ll have sex just to laugh at playing with his heart and dashing his hopes.

Elise commented that the people who called you a slut before would call you a cocktease now. I support you having sex freely when you want, and I support you not having sex, and I wouldn’t call you names whatever your choice. But I don’t support this kind of dishonesty and manipulation. There’s nothing empowering about that.

I’ve been in this guy’s shoes, and I know how much it hurts to have your heart and mind played with, He’s probably wondering what he did wrong and why you turned on him; what the other guys have that he doesn’t. He’s probably going over the night in his head, wondering what he could have done better, wondering how to get you to like him. Was he too nice? too mean? Should he not have gone to your house? Should he have changed to a different channel than HBO? In fact, he probably didn’t do anything wrong… he was just the victim of a woman playing games with him. It hurts. Please don’t do that. All you have to do is be honest.

]]> By: Devon http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-78105 Devon Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:47:50 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-78105 Hey Jeremy, I really respect your opinion here, but I think you got the wrong idea (probably because I didn't give a year's worth of background with the story.) In essence, this guy gets every girl he wants. We have been friends for a while now and we always talk about these sorts of things. I never said anything to make him think I'd sleep with him per se or do anything. I really did just want him to come over and hang out and I really was OK with him sleeping in my bed so we could talk more. While not having sex for once was empowering for me, trust me, this guy knows me well enough to know that the only reason I didn't sleep with him is because I actually like him a lot. We've talked every day since. I really don't think I hurt his feelings here. But I do agree with your opinion for most scenarios like this. Hey Jeremy,
I really respect your opinion here, but I think you got the wrong idea (probably because I didn’t give a year’s worth of background with the story.) In essence, this guy gets every girl he wants. We have been friends for a while now and we always talk about these sorts of things. I never said anything to make him think I’d sleep with him per se or do anything. I really did just want him to come over and hang out and I really was OK with him sleeping in my bed so we could talk more. While not having sex for once was empowering for me, trust me, this guy knows me well enough to know that the only reason I didn’t sleep with him is because I actually like him a lot. We’ve talked every day since. I really don’t think I hurt his feelings here. But I do agree with your opinion for most scenarios like this.

]]> By: Marie http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-78131 Marie Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:41:58 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-78131 If this guy was "positive he was going to get laid" then thats his problem for assuming that he would. Not Devons. And it's not like she was majorly teasing him. So I don't think it was misleading. It seemed to be more cautious instead. And apparently he still wanted to hang out with her the day after. I think for both of them, taking it slow might be a postive thing. Good luck to both of you. I hope it works out. If this guy was “positive he was going to get laid” then thats his problem for assuming that he would. Not Devons. And it’s not like she was majorly teasing him. So I don’t think it was misleading. It seemed to be more cautious instead. And apparently he still wanted to hang out with her the day after. I think for both of them, taking it slow might be a postive thing.

Good luck to both of you. I hope it works out.

]]> By: Rhiannon http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-78162 Rhiannon Fri, 01 Aug 2008 01:58:14 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/10609#comment-78162 Even if you make him wait he will fuck you over. That type always does. I am not bitter.... Even if you make him wait he will fuck you over. That type always does. I am not bitter….

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