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I have something to tell you: I am not petite. At 5’10 and not a size 4, I am what many would consider a biggish girl. And that makes it hard to date. Especially because I want to date a nice, Jewish boy…who also happens to be bigger than me. No offense to my people out there, but there are very few Jewish males who reach above 5’5. (And I have been looking for years!)
People always yell at me and tell me I am being too picky, (“What is the big deal?” “Why not someone who is at least your height??”) but I can’t help it. And trust me – I have tried.
Last weekend, I went home with a very attractive boy – my height, super hot …but really, really skinny. I was already nervous enough to strip down to my skivvies, considering my post beer belly. But, thanks to the power of that very beer, I was feelin’ frisky, so strip I did. We had our fun. When it was time to go to bed, though, I couldn’t find my undergarments in the pile of clothes on the floor, so the boy threw me a pair of his boxers to sleep in. And it was like putting in a pair of Spanx. Or plaid biker shorts.
Totally true.
Totally embarrassing.
Talk about feeling like less of a woman; I felt like a total heffer. Any sort of confidence and feeling of sexiness went right out the window. Which is exactly where I wanted to go. All of my insecurities came rushing back and my desire to only date someone bigger than me was confirmed.
People are always talking about Tom Cruise and his various super tall wives, but there is a big difference between me and Katie Holmes (besides the fact that I am not some silent Scientologist). She is famous…and glamorous… and is married to Tom Freaking Cruise. She could have 6 eyes and be 12 feet tall and no one would care.
But it’s different for me. I don’t live in a land of Oscar parties and red carpets. I live in the real world. A world where I may want to wear heels from time to time, or get on top without suffocating my man. A world where I can look up at my boyfriend…or curl up in his oversized sweatshirt. Not rest my beer can on his head or borrow a t-shirt when I am feelin’ like sporting a baby tee.
I am sure I could love someone who is shorter if I tried, but I can’t seem to get myself to give them a second glance (after I look right over the top of their heads when I scan the scene at the bar). Maybe it’s just me, but there is something about wearing the same size pants as your boyfriend that sorta changes things. I want to feel like a petite lady in my relationship – is that so wrong?
21 Comments
Good luck! I know how it is finding a nice Jewish boy who’s more than 5′5″. You’d think that as “the chosen people” we’d get some men with good genes!
LOVE this post! I too love the Jewish boys, and am 5′11 and a half. And sometimes they are intrigued by the tall… but it’s a rare occasion when the one in question is over 5′10″. For some reason the tall guys are always taken, almost always by some 4′11″ bitty girls, making for quite the awkward couples (in my opinion). I’ve just kind of accepted it, I always end up dating guys right around my height, usually an inch or two shorter. Sometimes you do just want to feel little and cute, you just have to be with the right person to make you so comfortable you stop worrying about it.
You are definitely not alone. I’m 5′11″ and I have serious issues dating guys who are shorter/smaller than me. It’s gotten to the point where my friends meet large, unappealing, hulking troll-men, and automatically think that he’s probably my type. Height/weight seems to trump all other characteristics, and that’s something I’ve really got to work on fixing.
I’m 5′10
I totally understand the “wanting to feel like a petite lady”
and everything else in this post.
I’m 5′3 so I’m glad I don’t have to worry about this issue. But you guys aren’t alone, even short girl have no interest in short guys, there’s just something unattractive about a guy not much taller than myself. And I think guys all want little girls (although I’m not quite sure why) I think it’s got a lot to do with being “protectors” it’s just a males natural instinct to protect their mate and if they feel like their mate could out protect them then they loose a lot of confidence. But just realize it’s not you it’s nature and yeah it sucks, but then again so does being an adult and unable to reach the top shelf I always get the “do you need some help little miss?” from the older gents at the grocery store. UGH!
I like tall guys so I can still be able to wear heels and not look down at them.
I’ve 5′10″ also, but over the years of being awkwardly taller than everyone my age, I’ve finally become to enjoy my height. 
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a girl that wants a guy to at least as tall as she is. After all, guys generally expect girls to be thin, though the analogy doesn’t competely work because you can exercise to become thin but you can’t work towards being taller.
That being said, I think it’s inane when short girls have a height requirement, like a minimum of 6 feet. As long as the dude is taller, especially when you wear heels, what’s the difference? I don’t buy that “genetic instinct” crap, because you’re not going to have his babies, are you? Having concerns about the physical health of a potential child when only in the college dating scene is pretty crazy. Only 10% of the male population is over six feet, and most Hollywood male celebrities exaggerate their height (then again, most normal guys do too). Some girls are so unaware of reality that they think that anybody who doesn’t tower over them is only 5 feet tall.
Oh my god, this is my Favorite post so far. I’m 5.10 and I have dated short men all my life. I’ve never had the change to look up to him or giving him a hug without smelling his hair, or ever wearing heels. I know what your going through. I have never dated a man taller then myself and I always wished for one. I think short men are attracted to taller women and tall men are attracted to short women. Thats what I see around me mostly. It’s like you want what you don’t have. I’m the type who always says, I don’t care about looks, its personality that matters. But being with a tall man is what I always wanted and never got. Hope to get him someday and good luck to you all amazonian women.
this may sound odd, but as a 6′4″ guy, i have always been curious to date a girl as tall, or taller than me. Just to see how we would fit lol
If I dated a dude shorter than me, I think he’d be a certified Little Person…
Why are you all prejudiced against short people? How are they supposed to get laid when none of you ever want them?
I dated a guy for three years who was almost 4 inches shorter than me. It was a little weird at first but the awkwardness worse off quickly and it was really a non issue.
Nothing against Jewish guys from me, but if height is the most important thing on your list maybe drop the Jewish requirement for say someone who believes in God. He’s got religion. And enough with the beer already, its all empty calories.
I’m a tall chick too…and my boyfriend is tall, but skinny, skinny, skinnnnnnnny! When we first got together, I kept telling my friends I was going to break him (and I’m an average size), but eventually, I got over the fact and learned to like the skinnyness and now, it’s a total turn on! I’m convinced, if he’s the right guy, you can like him for his lack-of-height.
I wouldn’t date a guy shorter or smaller than me and that’s that. I’m 5′7″ so it’s not a big deal, but I couldn’t handle the awkward-ness.
I’m 5′11 and my fiance is 5′8…its not so bad. We get stares sometimes from mostly people under 25. Most people don’t even care.
I really love my height. And trust me, I’m not the thinnest girl in the world. So I do know how you feel trying to find a date. But by not limiting your choices, you’d have a lot easier time.
I’m only 5′5″, but I know what you mean. My boyfriend is only a couple inches taller than me, and because of your same complex of wanting to feel petite, I can never wear heels when I’m around him because I then dwarf him in comparison. And I love heels! Also, he’s overweight, and I selfishly don’t want him to ever lose it because then we’d be exactly the same size! A girl has a right to want to feel petite with her man, but it is ,unfortunately, because society pressures us into believing that small size is what is most desirable.
I fight it, but I don’t…I may be of average height, but I still weigh 145 pounds. Every girl, no matter what height/weight combination, has size issues. Everyone feels too big sometimes.
You must be looking in the wrong places. Most of my jewish friends are all 5′8-6′2.
and Dwight, Jews believe in the same god as Christians
I’m 5′11 and have always dated guys my height or taller. I find so many cute shorter guys but my friends always tell me it’s an insult to bend over when hugging them. I don’t want to offend them but really, I don’t want our face in my boobs either. Im sticking with the tall guys!
Jon, I need to meet your friends.
I totally agree. since this past February I grew another .75 inches (and I’m almost 25) and now stand at a nice 5′10.25″ and am in no way a little girl-I completely understand. I’m constantly berated by my friends on why I have to wear heels-1. all my friends are 5′5″ or shorter-2. I’m already tall enough. I want to feel like a petite woman-instead of some freak Amazon that everyone points me out to be.
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