The first date… those three words alone are enough to fill my soul with terror. The person likes you enough to go out with you, but did they just agree to be nice, or do they really like you? Do they mean to be friends? Have you just completely misjudged their advances? What if they act really overzealous? What if they act really uninterested?

It’s clear that there’s a lot to worry about when you meet up with somebody for the first time, so try to cross at least one thing off of the Worry List by having a low-stress meal. These five things are not the way to go for first date fare:

1. Mexican.
Refried beans are soooo delicious, yes, but the effects are musical, and you really don’t want that to happen at an inopportune time.

2. Sandwiches/burgers more than three inches thick.
Honestly, these are the most annoying things ever, and they will embarrass you when you least expect it. When you finally maneuver the thing so that it’s possible to put it in your mouth, everything inside it will inevitably spill out onto either your hands or your lap. (Editor’s Note: Sounds familiar to the bedroom festivities later. Ayoooo!) You can’t eat them with a knife and fork, either, for fear of looking like an extreme neatnik.

3. Really spicy food.
If you eat spicy things regularly, that’s cool, but make sure that your date does, too. If you don’t make a habit of chowing down on chilis, the first date is not the time to start. Eating the food might be an adventure, but you run the risk of ending up in a physically uncomfortable spot before the end of the night.

4. Hole in the walls that actually look like hole in the walls.
I’m all for trying new restaurants, especially if they come with positive reviews or recommendations. But for first dates, avoid places you’ve never heard of if they look a little shady. Your stomach might tell you it’s a great idea to load up at that dingy all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, but you’re probably going to pay the price later.

5. Barbecues.
With undercooked meat, lukewarm potato salad, and fly-infested watermelon, the potential for food poisoning here is just way too high.

What would YOU never eat or order on a first date?

[Image courtesy of newpersuasion.typepad.com.]