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So, when an attractive stranger asks me if I want to grab some coffee, all common sense totally flies out the window, and what do I say?
“Sure!” (Insert a little drooling)
And then the worrying begins.
I know, I know, grabbing coffee is totally innocent. Yada yada. But, years of motherly concern, “What time are you going to be back?”, “Be careful when you drink”, have been totally ingrained into my thinking. I mean, I’ve been on the streets at two at night. Alone. In some of the roughest parts of London (yes, I’m a Brit), but those worries don’t stop flying around my head. No matter what.
Okay, so being alone at 2 AM, not exactly the wisest decision, but hey, it had to happen at some point. In big cities like London, being street smart is a must. And I, blessed with other things (none of which I can think of right now) was not given street smarts. Luckily, the guy I met for coffee didn’t turn out to be an axe murderer. Or a serial rapist. Or even a weirdo (believe me; I know a lot of them). He was actually a really nice guy. A nice, hot, French guy. Yum (No, I didn’t get his number, and yes, I am still kicking myself).
So I didn’t meet my demise that night. BUT, and here’s the big question…was my initial paranoia valid? With all the news reports of muggings, attacks and knife crimes etc. on the rise, can you ever be too careful?
Probably not. Hot guys can be murderers too, you know (actually, it helps if they’re hot…What?! It’s true!). So, here’s a tip, right off the streets of Bangalore (possibly the least safe city for woman in the world, according to The Times of India) pepper spray. And a big bag.
So, tell me what you think. When does worrying become an unfounded paranoia? And what are your tips for staying safe?
9 Comments
Pepper spray YES! I think back to last summer when I was partying in Brussels until about 3 am and then stupidly walking back to my hostel just me and the girl I was traveling with, both of us smaller than 5′3. Two disgusting Belgians followed us for a couple blocks before attacking us both and robbing us of our purses full of money, cell phone, stolen Champagne glasses from the bar and…my pepper spray! So a little advice and a lesson I had to learn the hard way: It is not enough to just have it because you cannot find it fast enough when you are being mugged! Carry that precious little can in your hands all the time! Ok maybe not all the time but come on…Brussels at 3 am? I should have been smarter, please tell me you will be.
potential attackers read the way you walk. if you walk squimishly quickly panic sricken and looking down wounded deer-like (or if you’re drunk walking)… you’re pretty much an easier target than someone who is walking confidently, strongly and quickly- like you don’t take no shizz!
take a freakin CAB- don’t be thrifty with your safety!
“A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do” is a book by Kathleen Baty, and it’s all about being safe and making smart decisions. It examines different locations, how to recognize potential attackers, how to protect yourself, varieties of weapons and their legality, etc.
Good read for any girl who might live alone or in a bad part of town.
Pepper spray ain’t shit! ( believe me I’m South Bronx born)
Thought about going home with 30 men standing on a corner? Take a cab, Ela knows what you talk about. If a man is acting up i give him the look that I’m two seconds away from choking him.( This may not work for all of you), but it helps to make a lot of noise, like scream at them which draws attention to you. Women who put up a fight ones most likely to get away.
Carry a pocket knife/ army knife/ sharp metal nail file. Got money get a taser/stun gun, but you better run your tail off because you’ve only got a seconds. a few minute tops.
sprinkle pixie dust and teleport to your hotel room.
I usually just walk with purpose and confidence and never act wounded, sad, scared because they can sense that. if you’re confident and look like you’re going somewhere for a specific time you’re not an ideal target…people will notice
i used to have a job where i had to walk to my car late at night, and it was far, and around many bars. i actually used to wear baggy jeans to work, and bring a large man’s hoodie. id put it on and have the hood on my head to disguise myself as a man. it might sound crazy, but it made me feel safer.
wear your hair in a tight bun if you are walking alone at night… its much easier for an attacker to grab your hair if its down or in a pony tail. Scream “FIRE” instead of “help” weird i know but they have done studies always determining the same results - people answer more to fire (the thrill of it) than help because they dont want to get involved or be in danger themselves. my sorority hired someone to teach a quick self defense class with easy moves like turning your wrist quickly sideways if they are holding it or getting loud and up in their faces like GiGi mentioned. the last thing an attacker wants to do is attrack attention. if they have a gun and tell u to get in a car.. just run (diagonally if possible) getting shot at is 100x’s better than what they would do if they got you in the car. disturbing.. but thats the world we live in.
did i really just wright attrack?
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