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Once upon a time, I cared a whole lot about my number of sexual partners. I remember hearing a girl in high school tell me she had slept with 5 people, 5 whole people, and I remember thinking, ‘WHOA!!! What a slut! I’m never going to have sex with that many people! Ever!” But, you see, that was when I was religious and very into the idea of marriage…and the idea of waiting for the ‘right one’.
So, I waited for the right one. Two years later, after we’d finally had sex, I knew he wasn’t really the one for me. It was like pushing the Go button on our sexual relationship facilitated him finally showing me who he really was. I maintained some faith and made another guy who was ‘the one’ wait. He broke up with me the day after I finally slept with him; four months into our relationship.
I started to really doubt there was a ‘ONE’ for me. But I still really wanted sex. I longed for it. I didn’t want to be tangled up in emotions anymore. I didn’t want to be a part of the pursuit of my perfect match anymore. I didn’t want to be in love. I didn’t want any of THAT anymore. I just wanted to still have sex. You know why? Cause I thought sex felt really good.
But I felt a certain dissonance about the whole thing, too. I was already at 2 (my number) and I was scared that one day, if I met someone who knocked me off my feet, that they’d think less of me if my number was 10 or 20 or, god forbid, 50. But then I realized something…
All of the people I would sleep with would be people who I wanted to sleep with. Simple as that. If I ever found the ‘right’ person for me one day, he would have no problem accepting my past, my choices, and the events that helped me develop in time. I realized that as long as I did exactly what I wanted to do and always respected myself, that no ‘right’ man for me down the road would ever hold that against me.
I don’t understand why more girls can’t adopt this mentality. Why does a NUMBER mean so much to so many people?
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60 Comments
while i am all for free expression of love, and liberated people expressing it…
don’t you think moderation is an important aspect of everything?
like, liqour makes me feel good, but too much makes me a drunk
weed makes me feel good, but to much makes me a pothead
sex feels good, but doesn’t to much make you a slut?
Not a chance. If you tell any guy that your are seeing that you have had more then 50+ partners he will be gone in a second.
…Tsk, tsk.
Sounds just like a slutty CC writer.
Oh well, I’ve been entertained for the day.
Isn’t that the way of the world “a guys point of view” … meanwhile when I was dating a bartender a few years back who had QUITE the list of ladies he had been with my little italian mother said “Oh honey maybe he finally decided to settle and your the one he thinks is worth it”.. soo typical
I agree 100%- and oddly enough was just thinking of this topic this past weekend. I’m not currently dating anyone right now and decided to have sex with someone I met this weekend. It was my decision- I was the one that told him to come upstairs. However, the next day I wondered how many more of these encounters I want to have. My number is EXTREMELY low for my age, so I didn’t feel like I had made a spontaneous or wrong decision at all- I wanted it, I got it. I’m not saying I want this to be a reoccuring event- as long as I’m happy with myself- why not?
Wow, I’m disappointed in the number of negative comments. The author isn’t a slut because she enjoys sex. Period. People need to get past this mentality that sexual freedom is a bad thing. Chastity is a thing of the past…I think that’s evident in the fact that the median age that teens lose their virginity is 16-17 years old. And don’t even get me started on the double standard. Why does a woman sleeping with 30+ men make her a slut, but a man sleeping with the same amount of women makes him a pimp?
Sarah,
although i believe everyone has the right to sleep with how ever many they want…but
do you really think its a good thing that the age people loose thier virginity is so low?
do you really think it is acceptable to have had 30+ sexual partners?
do you really think no one judges a guy for having so many partners?
you are unrealistic. Sex should be enjoyed, in moderation, not in excess.
sex is great and SHOULD be explored, but you can’t throw out all the guide lines. But if you don’t have a problem with it, go with it.
Im not marrying anyone who has had 10+, eww
for your information i guy who sleeps with 30+ women is a man whore
Did I miss something in the article completely? Why is everyone freaking out?
I agree with the Kelly above. Why is everyone freaking out? A persons number is his/her business, no one elses, not even the person they are dating, in my opinion. Your past is just that, your past, and should stay there for a reason. Clouding up your significant others head with images of you being with this person or that only adds fuel to a fire. That being said, if someone loves you, he/she should love you for YOU, not for the number of people you sleep with. I applaud Devon here and think she makes a good point. All of the individuals bashing her are being narrowed in their views - something this website rebels against. You don’t like it - don’t read it, ya kno.
Lots of people get uncomfortable / nervous / righteous / insecure when it comes to someone being frank and honest about their sexuality.
Personally, I think being a “slut” isn’t always dictated by the number of partners a person has — it’s all in the attitude: the obvious need for attention / need to fill a void…
Sleep with who you want, how you want. Just be safe.
And never listen to people who feel the need to judge you. It’s bizarre behavior.
Well, I was taken advantage of at a VERY young age… (ie.. raped when I was in middle school, at 14.)
So I guess, I was like “what the hell” after that, right? When I was 16, I had my first ‘real’ boyfriend, and it just kinda progressed from there. Call me a slut, an abused little girl who was confused about her worth after that, whatever… but I ended up basically sleeping with every guy I dated, and was actually taken advantage of quite a few more times, when my naive drunk ass passed out around shady people.
But I never made the first move on anyone, and didnt just go around screwing any guy I got drunk with… its hard to imagine that I wasn’t easy when I tell you how many guys I’ve been with, but its true. I have to admit have turned down WAY more guys that I have ever been with…
Well, I’ve been with quite a few (13) people, (I’m almost 23) including my current boyfriend of several years. He’s been with probably 25 or so. (he’s 24) Neither of us have ever cheated, but yeah, when we were single I suppose we were sluts. Either way, we respect each other and dont judge each other based on our “number.”
If I did that I would have missed out on the most important person in my life! And needless to say, we have great sex!
But I can’t say that I honestly would have been that way if I hadn’t been raped so young.(by a gorgeous, star football player, I might add… you never know…)
But women/girls are extremely objectified, and then turned around and called sluts whenever they react or respond to the way men treat them… So I really dont understand that.
I just think its really hard to know why people act the way they do, so you shouldn’t judge people, or even assume you know how you would act if you were in their shoes.
we’ve gotten into this debate so many times on cc…where’s casey on this topic?!?! c’mon out girl! anyways, there’s a whole forum thing going on at thefrisky: http://www.thefrisky.com/forums/viewthread/254/
I love this article! its so true. But i dont think or hope I’ll ever get to sleeping with 50 guys. I hope to keep standards for myself when picking guys to sleep with. But the “one” should totally understand me and my past when the time comes. Because he’ll love me for who I am.
Why does it always have to come down to someone being a slut or a whore? What’s up with all the judgements?
People are acting like she grabs guys off the street and sleeps with them in alleys. Geeze.
why do you people always assume that youre going to find the “one” the one who will love you for who you are, the one who wont care if u were a crack whore before because he loves you now and thats what matters and blah blah blah blah blah i mean come on, do none of you think maybe this IS your life? these ARE your relationships? theres no use going on about how ‘when you meet the one he wont mind’. maybe you wont get married, settle down and have 2.5 (or whatever the new average is) kids. theres more than one bloody way to live you know!
…At the end of the day if I am in to the girl…I don’t really give a hoot about how many guys she has slept with…
But if you’ve had sex with 50 guys…Well you better bring a pretty wild ride to the table.
“Trust me…put on this blindfold and do a head-stand.”
slut is a patriarchal word, as it is a word designated only for women.
moving on from that, i cant believe once again the sexist comments. all the author said was that she liked sex. do you guys like sex? well i assume so, if you are a human being without a serious medical problem.
i liked the article, and agree with it wholeheartedly.
Personally, I want a girl that’s got a good sized number (still don’t want it bigger than mine of course, but that’s just the male ego talking). That way I know she’s experienced, adventurous, and I likely won’t have to explain or defend my own personal sexual perversions!
I think some of the guys on here are afraid of having an experience loved. Harder to get away with being an asshole in the bedroom. Anyway, people’s numbers are going to get bigger as people marry later and later in life. When I was in school I was too busy and focused to be able to give enough to a serious relationship, but still was a sexual being. Now I am happily married and I think both my partner and I benefit from our previous experiences.
Well - it seems that everyone still is avoiding to address the REAL issue of why this myth exists? men, are wired/ conditioned to want to have a ton of “conquests” .. cos for some odd mangled reason it proves their masculinity? but at the same time the “one” they marry/be serious with, they want to still have the old fantasy from their parents/lineage of being ‘virginal’. they can’t bare the thought of a series of guys going , “dude, i boned your wife” … since it threatens that same aforementioned ‘masculinity’.
so its a clear societal perception created and still remains by a heterogeneous set of factors.. and for certain people, will always remain so.
Its individuality, if a woman chooses to have a high “number” AND can find a mature secure enough man to accept that high “number” .. good for her.. though being a man, i can confidently say.. you are reducing your selection :)..
I am not defending either, but trying to point out the mere reality of the society we live in …
Ha, well you wanted me so here I am.
I wouldn’t want a guy who’s been with more than a handful of people (give or take a couple). And I know a guy isn’t gong to want me if I’ve been with a ton of people. Yes, “the one” is going to want you for who YOU are, but your number is a part of who you are. What does a big number say about you other than “she’s (or he’s) a slut!” It actually says quite a lot more. That perhaps you have commitment issues, or you’re easily taken advantage of, or weak willed, or even “[S]he knows what [s]he wants and gets it” which in a relationship is not necessarily a good thing, because know one wants to be with someone who is going to want what they want when they want it, or in other words, is selfish. There is so much negative stigma with sleeping around then just being a slut, it says a lot about other aspects of your personality (you have no self control) then just your sexuality. I’m sure many of you think you wouldn’t care how many people your guy has been with as long as they don’t care how many you’ve been with, because you all hate the double standard. Well fuck the double standard, it’s not about making women and men equal because in reality it’s just as skeezy to have 50+ partners whether you’re a guy or girl. Yeah sex feels great, but it feels even better when you’re experiencing it with someone you actually care about, and becomes less special when you experience it with the whole world before finding that one. There was a point where I didn’t care how many people my “one” had, until I met him and knew I wasn’t his first (or second, or third) and never could experience that with him and him alone, because 5 other girls had experienced it before me. To know that he held someone the way he holds me and did to other girls what he does to me just makes it a little less special.
So there’s a lot more to that little (or big) number than just being a slut, it says so much more about you as a person.
Oh and one more thing, if it’s “the one” why isn’t it any of his business to know your past? I think to know who you are someone needs to know your past, where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what it is that made you who you are. Doesn’t that include your number? It should. In a relationship you need to be open and honest with one another, and if you’re not willing to be completely honest with your significant other (about everything) then you might as well re-think being in a relationship (what else might you be hiding, the fact that you didn’t really get tested for STD’s after you told them you did? or anything else that may be pertinent information) , because trust and communication are the two key elements and if you’re immediately going to disregard both of those then wow you’re in for one hell of a ride.
I think that as long as you’re being safe with everyone you sleep with and you’re getting tested, it should be irrelevant how many people you’ve slept with. Everyone does things in their past that they regret or didn’t want to do at the time and can change as they get older. To completely deny someone because of their past is silly.
I don’t condone people who have a lot of sex because it’s not my life. I’m not going to judge someone based on just their past. I’m going to determine the kind of person they are at that very moment. If I’m not meant to be with someone it won’t be because of how many sexual partners they’ve had; it will be because I don’t feel that lasting connection.
Sex is only special if you make it special. If you can be with someone and enjoy being with them in every way then sex will be special regardless of how many partners they’ve been with. Don’t over think things too much. Just be with the person, forget their past and accept it. It can’t be changed and dwelling on it could make you miss out on some kick ass sex.
I guess I’ve never wanted to sleep with too too many guys because…sex is letting someone inside me, literally and figuratively. And I don’t really think there are that many people out there that I want inside me.
Christine, you make some good points. But a persons past is a part of who they are, it makes up who they are. I’m not going to judge someone on their past, but I do want to know about it so I can fully understand them. And I don’t dwell on my boyfriends number (which isn’t high at all) and I don’t let it effect our sex (which is amazing!) or let it get in the way of our relationship, but it does suck when I run into one of those girls.
I honestly think as we get older and mature, people realize they take this way too seriously.
The older you get, the more likely it becomes that you have had accumulating sexual partners.
Unless you are die-hard religious.. then I suppose it takes on a moral connotation, and then you can compare this to your “character,” as one girl stated. When chastity is viewed as morally right in a religious sense, of course having more than one or two sexual partners is viewed as “bad character,” but I personally think that’s a load of crap.
But whatever floats your boat.
A Slut is a slut is a Slut. Feminism Hoo!
If you´re such a dumb girl to always go for the bad boys&frat assholes, then I don´t want to be “Mr.Right” No34556.
Go ahead and waste the most beautiful and fertile years of your life luring in the assholes, instead of the good guys that would actually treat you right and build a future with you.
I have to agree with what Ricky said, “guys can’t bare the thought of a series of guys going , dude, i boned your wife.” In a perfect world guys wouldn’t care what there girls number is as long as she is STD free, but we don’t live in the perfect world and guys do care. I am glad there are women out there that enjoy sex enough to have causual sex and i don’t think any less of them. I just don’t wouldn’t want to marry one.
Also just because a girl has had sex with a lot of guys doesn’t mean she is a slut. A slut is someone who uses sex to get what they want.
I think the number itself should not matter nearly as much as the justification for the number. If you have ten partners from ten different people that you were committed to (although I may not like) I can’t complain. But if you just have 5 random guys then that to me is an issue.
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/103
All of you boys and girls have to be in your twenties or thirties. A relationship is a heck of a lot more evolved than sex. You can have great sex with tons of people, but how many can you wake up and have coffee with the next morning? Get past a certain age, meet a certain someone and you will realise that the ‘number’ might bother you a little bit sometimes but that goes away the next time you look into the eyes of the one that you love. Grow up all of you.
LKSHIT, I agree with you. Seriously, everyone, grow up. You’re all taking this thing way tooooo seriously. Love has no boundaries in my world-and that includes a stigma you put on a number of sex partners.
Also, I love the fact that so many of you only read the end of my article…the part where I concluded the number didn’t matter…without really processing the beginning. I have lived a life where I believed in waiting to have sex. I have been there and done that and decided that that life hurt me more than being free and open to the idea that I didn’t have to find ‘the one’. You can name call all you want, but I personally don’t agree with any personal philosophies that don’t revolve around an individual’s happiness first and foremost.
The number means nothing to me. Hearing you say how many partners you have had just lets me know you are human.
Once a ho always a ho.
Ohh, wow, seriously were in fuckin 2008, women have just as much right to be sexually free as men, every time I read shit like this its ALWAYS what the guy thinks and how it will affect HIS future or realtionship, and that is totally not fair, I mean if I was really into a guy but he had alot of partners, then I should dump him?? No, but thats how it is for a woman right?? Guys are always like what THEY want when they settle down and girls need to stop calling each others sluts because were all human and we were made to have sex and fuckin enjoy it. I hate it when girls call each others whores and sluts because of one thing another girl has done, its not okay because you know damn well you would like to be a freak at least once or maybe you are. I’m just a freshmen but I like sex and we all have had that one crazy thing we have done,I see nothing wrong with it and no one has to know my “number”, anyone who wants to bash me, fuck you then because no one is stopping me from having awesome sex. And plus after like 30 years old, ppl stop talking about shit like this you do know that right?? after a certain age it doesnt even matter anymore because its called growing the fuck up and realizing what is truly important and sometimes I think it’s because the guy is intimidated by a girl who has had more partners and they are more expreienced and comfortable sexually, sometimes we have to be the ones to take control in bed haha
inyourface bitches
The thing is there i sno one number for everyone.
As a happily married guy older than most people here my number is only 5 and I wish I could have one of those back. I have a friend and she could not give you a number but I can assure you it is over 50 including 3 different guys in one night not at the same time. Was she slutty, yes, does that make her a bad person no. She slept with who she wanted when she wanted SAFELY and it was right for her at the time. She is now happily married and monogamous with two children. You have to do what is right for you but remember you can’t unring a bell. If you want to explore sex and wouldn’t be ashamed to tell your friends what you did go for it.
Jennifer, I have no idea what you just said. If you were trying to prove a point it was lost in all the vulgarity. Please don’t talk about “growing up” when every other word you type is “fuck” or “shit”, your point just gets lost and you sound like a high schooler.
There is nothing wrong with sleeping with that many people. But as a man who would like to settle down with someone, I would honestly prefer the woman who has slept around the least. Not because I’m a sexist bigot, I believe the same goes for men. I just simply believe that that number is indicative of how faithful your partner is, that what they crave is not simple carnal pleasure, but love.
kevin, I agree, that’s what I was saying. It’s not just a number, but an insight into your character.
I can understand and even relate to the ones who say a number doesn’t matter. They don’t want it to matter. We want to live free - no one to control us or tell what to do, what we’re worth or who we should/shouldn’t sleep with. Because it’s simply not their business. And, we sure as hell don’t want someone judging us because we know they’re not as righteous or perfect as they appear to be.
But deep down that number does matter, to ourselves. We might tell the world to F* off and not call us names, but when you look at yourself in the mirror the night after you got drunk and had a college orgy with 20 people….. what will you truly think of yourself as? Or, even if it’s a one-night stand with someone, just cause you wanted sex….. is there no part of you that feels an empty void AFTER the ecstasy of sex has worn of? A part of you that says ‘ok….that was great….now what?”
Yes, sex is exciting… even more so when it’s forbidden or a taboo… but what about the next morning when you wake up alone and feeling the same as before your passionate night.
If you enjoy sex, don’t you feel that you might want sex AND love? From someone you care about, are committed to, love, trust? Maybe even want to cherish for the rest of your life?
Yes, this is 2008 - the 21st century - where we’re all allowed to be ‘free’ and spontaneous with sex… but ever noticed the growing number of cheating spouses, divorces and broken families? If you think sleeping with 15 guys/girls before the age of 25 is ok, good for you. Will you feel the same way when you find that out about your 23 year old daughter one day?
A number doesn’t define your heart or your intentions. But, it will define your lack of self-control, need for attention, maybe lack of self-esteem, or simply lack of respect for yourself. Most men like to do girls who are free-spirited and open, because they know they’ll be wild and fun in bed. But remember - they don’t like to take them home to their mothers. I had a boyfriend who was once bragging about a permanent hickie left on his neck by some chick at a club years ago. Strange, but true. It never faded. I don’t know how the hell she did it. When I made a sarcastic comment, he was quick to respond that “those kinds of girls are cool, but you keep them in the clubs. You don’t bring them home to meet your family.”
I still remember that phrase. And, every time I think of ‘being adventurous’ and ‘having no-strings-attached kind of fun’ I know I’m reducing my own ‘value’ and self-worth. People may say they don’t care to be polite, but they do. They’ll look at you different, treat you different. You may not care now, but someday you will. When the one you love and want a commitment with will love you back but not marry you because in the back of his mind, he’s wondering if you’re going to leave him if you get bored with the sex.
Sex is a very complicated issue in relationships. If you don’t ever plan on being in one, then having sex with more than 30 people doesn’t matter. But if you ever want that special someone to love, trust and be committed to you, you need to prove that you’re capable of doing so as well. If they fear any infidelity on your part, well - good luck!
It’s easier to wait to have sex for someone that you’re in a serious relationship with. At least it won’t play with your emotions and make you immune to ever feeling that ‘extra-special’ connection with your partner.
A number doesn’t define you….. but how you go about achieving that number is a different story. Have 15 committed partners you’ve slept with in the last 30 years - that’s fine. But, if you have 50 sexual partners, most who were just a booty call, then you have some serious moral/self-esteem issues.
And there is no such absolute thing as ’safe sex’. Condoms can break, pills may not always work and have high risks/side effects. And getting checked for STDs only detects STDs….it doesn’t prevent it. Are you gonna wait for a test to show that you have a life-threatening STD before you stop indulging in these dangerous behaviors?
I have friends, family, cousins, classmates, co-workers - you name it - most of whom have slept with people they weren’t in a serious relationship with. Some have had problems, most haven’t. But something most of them have in common - it took them a VERY long before they found someone willing to accept their past and trust them with their questionable future. Sadly, some of them have since been in a few serious relationships, but none that were ever healthy.
You’re not a bad, immoral person because you have sex with a lot of people. You’re human and have feelings and physical needs. But don’t let that ever interfere with your emotional needs. As long as you can keep that separate and are mature enough to handle the consequences (physically, emotionally, and relationship-wise), go for it. Do what makes you happy… But temporary happiness can have serious effects on your permanent happiness. Just be ready for whatever you get yourself into…
As for me, I know I could not handle falling in love with someone someday…and having them feel insecure (even if they don’t admit it) that they might not be able to trust me 150%….. because passion tends to fade away after a while when you’re in a long relationship.
Neither would I be able to handle my future kids questioning me on my partying/wild past when I’m trying to set moral boundaries/restrictions for them….
wow! Wow, you said it best.
I recently found out my girlfriend had sex with at least 80 guys. I don’t know how to get past it. Am I being an idiot?
really the question is, do you want to get past it….or do you not see any future in the relationship with her? Has she been faithful to you? Do you see something in her that is worth being with?
I wished more women just gave into their sexual desires and had fun. Who the F cares how many guys are inside you? If you are safe and healthy, its no body’s bbusiness.
Do you want to look back and know you didnt expereince it? Its a lot harder asking that question after life has past by. Think about it.
what about those of us who felt that way and then look back now and wish we hadn’t experienced it? I think more people would rather they hadn’t then wished they had.
Well, do what ever you like. You only live onces and if sex is what makes you happy for a time, do it.
However, NEVER tell a guy the real number of guys you slept with. Anything above 10 is not really advisable. Maybe you can get through with 15 but thats the max.
And make sure you dont have too much activity within your closest environment. Your reputation goes faster towards slutty then you think.
some of you commenters are ridiculous. this article doesn’t say that she’s being slutty - actually it doesn’t even say her number is higher than 2. just because someone has realized that “a number” isn’t as important as “this was someone i really wanted to be with” doesn’t mean they’re going out there whoring it up!!!!!! stupid asses!! lay off her!
Reading over all these comments, I am totally surprised by how conservative the prevailing attitude towards sex seems to be. The knee-jerk reaction of referring to women who have had a lot of partners as “sluts” is so ridiculous to me; even the comments by Casey and “Wow” seem silly. Although it is certainly possible for a person to have too much casual and irresponsible sex, I don’t think there is a specific objective number that acts as a cut off point between what’s normal and what’s skanky. Instead, the difference between having fun and being slutty is all in how a person goes about doing it (no pun intended…ok, maybe a little). For some girls, having sex with even one or two guys is a negative experience that occurs for the wrong reasons - say, to satisfy a need for emotional intimacy or validation - whereas for other girls it is totally possible to have sex with ten, twenty, or even fifty guys and have it be a fun, positive experience. Although I can only speak from experience as a girl, I’d assume it’s the same situation for guys. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a one night stand. As the author more or less says, sex is awesome, and sometimes sex without any strings attached is the best kind of sex. What if you don’t want to have to deal with having coffee with anyone the next morning? What if you just want to get off and then go home and curl up alone with a good book and go to brunch the next day with your best friends?
I particularly take issue with Casey’s point that how many people you’ve slept with reflects on your personality in a certain way, i.e. negatively if it’s a high number. I know many girls who have slept with what would be considered a lot of people who have none of the compulsive/selfish/uncontrolled traits you describe; I don’t deny that these characteristics can be connected with being promiscuous, but I think it’s an indemonstrable lie to day that they always are. Also, it is problematic to say that these personality traits are universally good or bad; being selfish can be a wonderful trait in a business woman and being uncontrolled can help someone be a fantastic writer or artist. I’m not saying these things are guaranteed, just that they are positive possibilities for traits you seem to regard as negative.
As far as how guys will feel about your number, trust me: the amount of people you have slept with is not going to make or break a relationship. The kind of person who dumps you because you have slept with “too many” or “too few” people is a complete idiot who you didn’t want to date in the first place. A person who is worth being will care about you enough to accept you for who you are and what you’ve done; although it’s certainly possible that they may feel a little jealous or awkward, that’s their problem not yours.
Full disclosure: I am a 23 year old girl who has slept with 16 people, from serious boyfriends to one night stands, some of it amazing and some of it terrible, and I wouldn’t take back any of it. I am in a relationship coming up on my 2 year anniversary with a wonderful guy who knows exactly how many people I have had sex with and could not care less, even though he’s slept with less girls.
Wow. The negative reaction to this article really surprised me, as did the backwards thinking involved in a lot of the comments. Sex is a personal decision. To either have it or to abstain, that is of no concern to anyone but yourself. Who are we to judge someone by the number of partners they’ve had? How is one’s number of partners a relevant judge of character?
I’ve had 11 partners, 0 babies, and 0 sexually transmitted diseases. You see, it’s not the first number that matters there, but the second and third.
EXACTLY. Thank you to the last two commenters. I have had 19 partners, 0 babies, and 0 sexually transmitted diseases. I have also never cheated on a boyfriend and never will.
SLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SLUTS
SLUTS
SLUTS
WHORES
At least be smart enough to charge the guys that you fuck.
Life’s short. Live it. If he cares about a number like “8″, then drop him because he’ll never treat you like an equal in a marriage. There’ll be so much more you’ll go through together, it’ll be important that he see you as on his own level, a partner, standing WITH him, not constrained by some moral compass he’s picked for you to wear around your neck.
I just stumbled onto this site and won’t be visiting again since I’m not the right age but could not resist posting from a completely distinct viewpoint. My number is 8. It hasn’t changed since 1995 because I met “the one” in 1997 and we have been happily married for 10 years now. His number is 11. Some of them were one-night stands. My sisters are very religious and held out for their husbands - who were also I should add bouncing off the walls like immature puppy dogs when we met them as they, themselves had held out as well. It was cute, but the men’s countenances changed immediately after the weddings. And they have average marriages, good but typical arguments. We do not. We respect each other consistently and constantly. I would call ours much more a marriage of true equals, unconfined by the boxes some religions have made for men and for women to sit in. We don’t fight; we understand each other; we’re soul mates. Having children has made us respect each others’ capabilities even more. He’s my best friend. If what I did with other guys made me the person I was and thereby got me on the timeline to my husband even in a roundabout way, then there aren’t regrets, and regardless my husband could have cared less about my number. I considered it training, in a way. He is, happily, the best of all of those I had - and frankly how do you recognize an extremely good meal when you haven’t eaten at other retaurants? Helps that he’s also the cutest by far of my ex’es.
Numbers are a load of bollocks. There are so many factors to consider when discussing them.
A single girl of four years would have had more partners than a commited girl of fours years. The commited girl may view the single girl as a slut but later in life the chances are they would have reversed roles and evened things out.
Some people want a relationship but cant have one and others choose to be free.
Im 19 almost 20 and have had 8 sexual partners. Some people may look down on it but when its avaeraged out i’ve slept with 2 guys a year. Nt bad when i live in a country where it seems perfectly acceptable to go home with somebody new every weekend.
I was my exes first gf, he had slept with 11 women, all one night stands. I personally felt a lot comfortable knowing these women felt nothing to him than what i would have knowing he had cared about somebody else.
CORRECTION** these women were nothing to him
Numbers don’t matter, it basically comes down to YOU and what YOU think of yourself. People will always label and comment no matter what you do. The key is to love yourself for you and not care about what others have to say.
Although it is true that some women are promiscuous due to insecurity issues, this is not ALWAYS the case. A woman can still love herself, have self respect and confidence but choose to have many partners. Maybe she enjoys her freedom, wants to experiment before settling down, whatever her decision for doing it, it is her body, her choice, her life.
I also don’t believe that because someone has had many partners that they are more likely to be unfaithful. In fact, I feel the opposite to be true. People that settle down too quickly and don’t experiment enough are more likely to be curious than someone who has. Again I stress the phrase “more likely” that is not to say that this is the case for everyone. There are always exceptions to every rule.
The most important point that I would like to make is that whether you choose to have 1 or 50 sexual partners, you should be prepared to accept the consequences of your actions. It only takes 1 to get you pregnant or to give you an STD. Therefore, educate yourself and protect yourself at all times.
In addition, any man who dumps you because of your number, didn’t really love you enough to begin with.
Why is a woman a slut and a guy a pimp? Simple: guys can’t get pregnant. if i sleep with 100 women, there is a 0% chance of ME getting knocked up. meanwhile, ma’am, your chances are significntly higher. if we agree that abortion-as-birth-control is bad (and i think we can at least agree on THAT) then the fact is YOU, being a woman who just wants sex with no long-lasting results, would HAVE to sleep with significantly LESS people to avoid becoming fertilized and killing/raising a fetus, both of which are not cool. so, if you’re just in it for sex, every time you sleep with someone you up your chances of becoming a mommy, the antithesis to sexual freedom. so it’s referred to negatively. where if you’re a guy, every time you have sex you get to essentially masturbate into someone else’s vagina thus affirming the fact that you are sexually stimulating to the opposite sex. so you rock. the best part is, no matter what happens to her, you can do it to someone else tomorrow, hell, you can do it in an hour if you want. PLEASE HEAR ME: i’m making an ultra-PLAIN satire so you can see why, culturally, we frown upon promiscuous women and not men, it’s a generalization of fact, not an all inclusive and immaculate psychological analysis. everyon does things different. that said, don’t miss the forest for trees. that really is why it is why it is.
Mark,
Saying you have 0% of getting knocked up is stupid. You are taking just as much risk of being a daddy every time you have sex and you too have to deal with parenting should you increase your number to the point where you end up having a baby-wanted or unwanted-one day.
Mark,
You might be free from becoming pregnant. However, you are not free from parenting or from getting an std.
well if mark is one of the random hookups that so many girls have, then chances are the girl wont know his name or number and if she does get pregnant will have no way of knowing who or where he is, so essentially he has no parent obligation since he probably wouldn’t even know. Also the girl since she hookups with a different person every night wont even know who knocked her up, and trying to contact countless one night stands for paternity tests, well that’s going to be rather difficult. So although the way he put things is totally backwards, it does have some truth to it.
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