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So you enter your freshman year of college a confident single gal (or guy) ready to take on your new independent lifestyle and hopefully meet some hotties. The first week of college you meet someone who you happen to really hit it off with. A few weeks later, you’re still talking to this special someone and you start to wonder where this is all going.
But is it really a good idea to start dating someone you’ve only known for two weeks into your freshman year?
In my experience, no.
Freshman year is all about new experiences, whether it be living with someone you don’t know or having to do your laundry for the first time. While the idea of meeting a new boyfriend or girlfriend is exciting, the first semester of college might not be the best time to start thinking of a long term relationship.
I met a guy during the summer at one of my school’s orientations and I continued to talk to him once we met up in the fall. We started hooking up almost immediately after classes began and I wondered if he was feeling as strongly as I was about him. I soon realized, as he hooked up with multiple other girls, that there really were no feelings involved on his part. He announced that it was no big deal since he and I weren’t officially anything and he didn’t want anything serious his first year. I was hurt because I had read too much into the situation. Even more, though, I was angry at myself because I could have spent the time getting to know other people (or studying) instead of hanging out with him.
A friend of mine had a similar situation; she hooked up with someone for awhile during freshman year, but the guy had no intentions of taking it any further. She was devastated when he would constantly parade other girls around. She was miserable for the remaining year and didn’t seem to enjoy her time as a college freshman as much as she could have. While she should have gotten away from this dude, she felt too attached to him to let go. And this was all over someone she had known for only three months. I’ve even known countless others whose grades have dropped because of a bad hook-up or nasty rejection from someone they just met.
The first semester for college freshmen should be used to settle into a more comfortable routine and get used to everything new. Take this time to get to know friends and potential hookups as much as you can and save anything more serious for the second semester when you are finally settled in. This way, forming friendships, finding time to study, and becoming familiar with the college lifestyle is easier to maintain without the added stress of a relationship.
What do you think about dating freshman year? Is it a do or a don’t?
6 Comments
Great insight, I agree. During freshman year, I watched a lot of girls (and boys) pair up and cling to someone to deal with being in a new place, to combat the unfamiliar. Many of them shacked up in their rooms together and missed all the fun partying and new experiences. Its like a crutch, having someone in your corner keeps you from having to strike out on your own. Thats not to say that individuals should pass up an opportunity if it really seems like a possible solid relationship, but in my experience, I have seen very little good come of it.
Dating as freshman really goes bad when it’s the person’s first real relationship . . . They always get overly attached and mixed with all of the freedom, it just becomes ridiculous
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/103
i completely agree. i started dating someone right at the beginning of freshman year. i should not have jumped into my first serious relationship at the same time i was jumping into my first semester as an independent young adult. i couldn’t stay faithful and we broke up, which was really smart for both of us. we’re together again, but now it’s much different, since we’ve “been there, done that” with all the novelty of freshman year. we should have just skipped dating first semester–it’s important to savor that freedom. i feel like crud for cheating
i want to meet you have sex wath the women
Yeah I met my (current) and first “real” boyfriend well into my freshman year of college. I was only 17 and just moved into my first apartment by myself, working full time, taking a full load of classes and became absolutely smitten with him.
He was a sophmore and into partying at that time, so I began to experience all the new things that come with that. (ie drugs) Needless to say, we ended up pratically living together for 6 months, I fell head over heels, started partying, ended up dropping most of my classes, and when we broke up I was devastated.
It took me another year and a half to get back on track after that… Well we’ve been back together for 2 years now- we’ve both grown up a LOT and he’s graduating next spring. We’re really serious and plan on moving together next spring, but I really do regret my freshman year.
I wouldn’t trade meeting him for the world, I just wish I’d have had more caution and not messed up my schooling so badly. I probably would’ve graduated by now.
I disagree, it really is the “boys will be boys” talk you are argueing about. Some men just want sex or to hit it off, some want a bene-friend, others want what you want.
Honestly, not many freshman are prepared physically and mentally for that long term, so people go the easy way out, and like to just hit it off.
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