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I like to think of myself as a progressive woman. I pay my own rent, buy my own drinks at the bar, and I don’t expect my boyfriend to have to pay for me. I am a big fan of the unspoken agreement we have where I’ll pick up the tab sometimes, and he’ll get it others. So far its been working out well, and I’ve had no complaints - until now. Two words: Birth Control.
As it seems, birth control is one of those things that the girl is expected to pay for, and I am not happy about it. Last week I went to pick up a few months worth of birth control and was completely shocked to hear the nurse say to me, “That will be $97 dollars.” I stared blankly, and peered into my brown paper bag, yep, there was still only 3 months worth in there. She must be mistaken, so I asked her to make sure.
Nope, $97 bucks. Obviously I have grown too accustom to the generous helpings of birth control that were handed out at the health center in college like candy. Free candy.
I sadly handed over my visa and thought of the darling little number at Banana Republic that I would have to put on the back burner for another pay check and went home.
Upon my arrival, my gent inquired as to my appointment. I jumped at the opportunity to share my outrageous bill and almost vaguely saw a ray of hope towards getting the outfit from Banana again! This would be the time when my gent says: “Whoa! $97 bucks?? I’ll give you some money for that.” Because lets face it, it is the right thing to do and as I recall, it takes two to tango.
This sentiment in mind, you can imagine my shock to hear this:
“Man, that sucks.”
I stared at him waiting for the rest of his sentence, but nothing more came.
Good bye new outfit.
Instead of calling him out on his obvious oblivion, I just agreed, it sucked indeed. Now, I feel it is important to include a disclaimer here, my gent is extremely wonderful and generous, and had I have asked for money, he would have absolutely given it to me, but I just couldn’t; possibly to not feel like a cheap-ass, possibly to maintain my independent woman status, and possibly because I just hatched a secret plan to just stop offering to pay when we go out, I just kept my mouth shut.
But the irksomeness of this issue has not faded after several days, and upon discussing this event with my ladies, it seems that the assumed common sense to help pay for birth control is not just an affliction my guy suffers from - but all of them. And I think I can speak for all of us gals when I say, we are sick of it.
In all honesty, it isn’t completely the money that I am so irritated about. It is the fact that I was expected to spend my hard earned money on something that, well, is for both of us. At the very least, if you don’t want to shell out some money for it, can I get a little acknowledgement to the fact that I did?
In a feeble attempt to start correcting this problem, I’d like to offer a little head up to the gentlemen out there: if you trade off on who picks up the tab, split the bill on the groceries, or are in a relationship with someone, pitch in on the BC.
That being said, I swear when I go back for refills, I will be going Dutch (that ship has kind of already sailed on this round - plus my plan for skipping out on the bill proved plenty effective on debt collection.)
28 Comments
Tell him you’re going to go off of it and see what he says! lol. He’ll be glad to pony up the $ for it then. It is, after all, for him; yeah lighter periods, less breakouts etc…but would u be on it if you were single?!? NO0O0! SOo he should pay! =)
I actually have offered to pitch in for the birth control before. My girlfriend at the time wouldn’t have any of it — I think she found the idea offensive.
Let’s turn it around — How often do women pitch in on condoms? Rarely. As an aside, you should keep some condoms handy for your own safety. But in general we’re expected to provide the condoms.
I don’t know how things work in the US, ’cause your healthcare system is messed up, but in Canada prescription birth control is quite inexpensive, and the part you do have to pay for is covered by insurance if you have it. Health insurance is mandatory for all university students (included in the tuition fees), and employers include it as part of the benefits package.
Is $97 for three months really that bad? That’s only $1/day for unlimited sex. That’s the best, and cheapest form of entertainment I can think of. Instead of lamenting the loss of your $97, why not make the most of it and have fun?
You only spend 97 dollars on 3 months worth! consider yourself lucky! I spend 60 on 1 months worth! (i’m switching health care very soon so hopefully i’ll be as fortunate to pay 97 for 3 months worth)
But I understand where you’re coming from. I feel the guy should chip in some since it’s for both of us, but I don’t think they even realize since it’s not directly related to them, they aren’t the ones who have to take it, carry it around, and remember it every day at the same time. So I don’t think they even think about it until you say “oh shit! I forgot to take my pill!”
If your guy is nice (and mine is very nice, so I’m lucky) then you can probably talk to them and they’ll pay a portion of it every month. But I’m sure there are going to be a lot of guys trying to justify their absence in the bill because “well we have to pay for condoms when you weren’t on the pill, or when you stop taking the pill, or if you forget to take it” Which is true most guys are expected to buy the condoms and girls are expected to buy their pills. I have bought condoms for “just in case” cases where the guy doesn’t provide one (and word to the wise, you shouldn’t hook up with that guy anyways) but not nearly as many as the guys i’ve hooked up with have had to buy. But if you’re not on the pill then you should split that responsibility with the guy too (I did that before I got on the pill).
But yeah, just because the birth control method doesn’t directly effect you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help pay for it. Sex is a joint effort so paying for your protection should be too.
I really think you should have just asked your boyfriend if he would help you cover the cost. He can’t read your mind. If you’re upset about it and you don’t say anything, you’re just going to stay upset and then a dent will be driven into the relationship where there really doesn’t have to be one. COMMUNICATION! Sure, it’s obvious to YOU that he should have to pitch in, but it may not be obvious to HIM.
Ha, will I love how I said the exact same thing as you but you were able to say it in two sentences and it took me like 15.
$97?? Wow…I’m glad I live in Canada
I pay 15 bucks for three months worth of pills back home. At school I pay about 20 for one month at the school’s pharmacy because they do not take my health insurance (shakes fist). I’m shocked at how much you girls are paying. I get the generic brand at Target and it does the same thing.
I feel your pain. Over here in the UK the pill is free as far as I understand, sorry to rub it in, but I do love our healthcare system despite the complaints people make about it over here.
I’m torn about this issue, I can understand why guys should help share the cost, but at the same time it is traditional that guys buy the majority of condoms as they are the users, and girls pay for contraception that they use - although obviously everyone benefits from the usage. Although girls do (and should) buy condoms to keep at their place for when they’re needed, I’m sure most people agree that guys spend a lot more on condoms than girls.
Jake
http://factsandfriction.blogspot.com/
Ha, that’s what you get in a country founded by puritan conservatives. I’ll just stick to ticking my “free birth control” box at Boots
All jokes aside though, you’re totally right. It’s not just you “using” the pills - it’s both of you. You BOTH would like to avoid becoming parents, ergo he should pay for it. I suggest the next time you go for your prescription you hand him the receipt and stick your palm out.
Alic, I don’t think that would be quite the way to go about it. I think you’ll get a lot further if you don’t expect anything and you’re polite about it.
It is great that you are getting birth control because think of how much more expensive a baby would be!! Where I am from (Wisconsin) you can get it for free if you go through the county health department. I have been doing it for years and even get Pap smears, breast exams and condoms for free. Granted you have to do some paperwork and meet the income requirements, but it is fairly easy to get. I see where you are coming from with the guy paying for it, but how many times a month does he pay for dinner, or this or that at the store? In my mind it all evens out in the end, and again, $97 every three months is a small price compared to a baby!
Reading the comments I am completely shocked! Ladies, I can’t believe you don’t have condoms!! Frankly, if you are a lady and sexually active you need to have condoms and lube, whether you have a boyfriend or not. As for having a boyfriend pitch in for birthcontrol, well, I’m single and on birth control so I don’t know…
mollie, no one said they didn’t have condoms on hand, and the people that did mention condoms at all said it’s a good idea to have them on hand. So why are you shocked?
So are girls going to start asking their random hookups for money to help pay for their birth control? Ha, if you’re going to be on it when you’re single and not as your random hookups for money to help pay for it then why when you get a boyfriend should he have to help?
Box of 100 condoms from condomdepot.com= $25.00
and those arent the crappy ones.
comparing boys having to pay for condoms to girls having to foot the bill for birth control is ridiculous. I also payed around 30 a month and the lowest any of my female friends pay is 15 a month. So unless you use 100 condoms in one month (and if so, wow! call me?), I’m thinking you guys get the better end of the deal.
before i was on the pill, i always used to go halves with my boyfriend on condoms. currently, my health care covers it but i have this like
crazy health care plan that covers just about everything because of my parents job. that said, im getting older and will have to pay for it soon. health care runs out at 23, and the plan that will cover me after that is like 300 a month for prescriptions, so thats a lot more than birth control pills will cost, and bottom line is, ill be paying for them then. and ill want my boyfriend to pay for them too.
all you lucky canadians. i envy you.
yeah i’m on seasonique and it comes out to about 97 bucks now that i graduated college i don’t have my mom’s insurance thru her work anymore. i took out some crappy plan through bc&bs which really is a load of BS. on her plan it was half the price bc she worked for a medical company.
You’re right that condoms are cheaper than the pill (for Americans) if you buy them online, in stores though (here in the UK) they’re pretty expensive, although Boots do 2 for 3 offers on boxes of 12 every now and then.
I think if I lived in a country where you had to pay for the pill, and I was in a relationship, I’d be happy to split the cost. Outside of a proper relationship, probably not.
My boyfriend was appalled when he found out I wasn’t on BC. In fact, he used it against me as a reason he couldn’t commit. But did he ever offer to pick up the tab at the Dr or Walgreens? That’d be a no. And sure, he ponied up for condoms, but half the time he preferred not to use them, so…where exactly does that leave me?
The good news is, my brand finally went generic and mine is only $10 bucks a month. And I’m completely single and have been for months, but I’m still on it just because of all of those extra lovely benefits. Namely, drunk insurance.
‘And I’m completely single and have been for months, but I’m still on it just because of all of those extra lovely benefits. Namely, drunk insurance.’
Drunk insurance, nice
Well one issue might be that guys can’t just go pick up the pill. That’s a you thing, usually because it’s tied to some sort of prescription. It’s nothing nefarious, we don’t think to chip in mainly because it’s a “medical” thing. We’re almost completely un-involved in the process of procuring it.
Though you can add me to the list when it comes to women not springing for condoms. All of the women I’ve been with made it a mandatory (even some of those on the pill), but never EVER had any on supply. That was always a ME thing…
yeah…my birth control is 20 bucks a month…and that’s with no coverage. in Canada.
Where the hell do you buy birth control? I get my pills for free(I’m a military dependent so my insurance pretty much covers everything) but all my friends their birth control from Target since it’s about 6 bucks a pack.
$97? Are you kidding me? I pay $30 for 3 months’ worth. Granted I am on one of the less expensive ones out there, which also is available in generic. I’d be switching brands or switching insurance if I were you.
And I’m with the guys on this one who ask when the hell women ever supply the condoms.
And as far as it being for both of you… well, I guess everyone I come into contact with PMS week should chip in, then, because I started taking birth control largely to control my *ahem* symptoms… which were really quite bad…. for me and everyone around me.
A perfect opening for this convo would be right before you have sex, in that part between “foreplay” and where the two organs mingo. Ask him to use a condom, he’ll probably ask “why”. Now that he fell for this trap, you can easily pick him off by saying “Well my bill is getting high and you didn’t offer to help like the gentleman I thought you were.” (PS, say this in a polite tone, an aggressive tone will turn him to the defensive)
If he doesn’t know relate to him how he said “Man that sucked”, and of course if a silent moment comes out, just remind him of the subject at hand again, maybe even with a “Please” or a “Well since you don’t really want me…” Or something creative. Come on girl, I know you can do it!
Man i love the NHS!
I wouldnt be happy if my fella didnt take the hint. Just ask him to use a condom next time you have sex and when he asks why tell him it’s your last month on the pill because you can afford it. Im pretty sure he’ll soon cough up.
i -would- ask my boyfriend to pitch in, buuuut since i’m still covered under my parents’ health insurance, my three months of pills costs around $3.00.
I was paying that for 1 month, so consider yourself lucky for three. Having no health insurance is a bitch.
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