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Being in a relationship is great, but getting there totally sucks. You meet someone, start to like that someone and then go crazy trying to figure out if they like you, why they aren’t calling, if you should text them, if you should have kissed them, if telling them you love The Hills was too much information…
It sucks, which is why I think one-night stands are the way to go. Seriously, if you are safe (read: wrap that sh*t up) the one-night engagement is a total win/win. And here are 5 reasons why:
1. No expectations: When I meet a guy while ordering a round of Soco and Limes at the bar, I never think to myself, “Wow! He could be the one!” We both know that our relationship will last approximately 6 hours (if that long) and then we will both go our separate ways. No wondering when he’s gonna call, or if he also wants 2 kids and a Puggle. You do your thing and move on. The end.
2. You can try all those crazy positions: Since you’re never really gonna see the dude again anyway, why not try the Arm Chair? (Look it up.) If it goes poorly (and he ends up with a black eye) it doesn’t matter - you won’t be fraternizing with him again. And if it goes well you have mastered a new position for the next dude who buys you a cocktail.
3. It’s a good story: Good sex, bad sex or no sex (too much alcohol doesn’t always lend itself well to doin’ it) there will most definitely be a great story attached to it. And who doesn’t love a great hookup tale?
4. No late night food: Let’s face it; when you go home from the bar with the roomies someone always ends up making drunk dip/ordering a pizza. When you go home with a boy, however, food is the last thing on your mind. Unless it involves licking it off the other person. Plus, sex burns calories.
5. Learn what you like: Practice makes perfect and sex is no exception. The more you have, the more you learn, and one-night stands are the perfect study sessions.
34 Comments
So much in agreement. There are downsides (beer goggles, creepster, “I did WHAT with WHO?!” moments…) but all in all, you raise some very good points.
mehhh, i’m not into one night stands. but each to their own i suppose
Yeah, I’m not really into the idea of them either… but I dont judge those who are into it! Whatever floats your boat… but I would def not say that it’s a win/win, there are more downsides to one night stands than you’d think of…
Haha. I’m in a relationship, and I sort of envy people who are able to go out and have one night stands.. That said, I don’t think I would do it if I were single. I don’t have the guts to pull it off, I think!
….Why would you want to have sex with random people?
I guess I’m old fashioned. I prefer to know who the guy is before I have sex with him and in case something did happen, ie. a baby, I’d like to be able to inform the father. Man I feel old and out of touch.
What a ho. Keep your recommendations to yourself. Since when does promiscuity equal liberation?
That’s just it Em, all it is is a recommendation. So the whole point is to share it with others, you can take it or leave it.
Although, I suppose if she has to keep her recommendations to herself, you should do the same with your opinions.
I dunno, I understand all of the points, but if you get the right guy, it shouldn’t be an issue. My boyfriend and I are always trying “crazy” new positions, and we’re learning what we like TOGETHER, and then perfecting what we end up doing badly.
I don’t know, to each their own, I personally don’t like sleeping with strangers…
but even if you wrap it up, it’s important to remember that condoms aren’t 100%. If you aren’t on birth control, they’re only like 70% effective against pregnancy. And nothing is 100% against STDS. Condom’s help, but nothing is foolproof. So when you sleep with a stranger, you are still taking a risk, regardless of how safe you are being.
I would never advocate this….
if you sleep with a man right away, you throw away your best chance of making him become absolutely crazy about you.
sex releases dopamine and research shows that a reward acquired early reduces the intensity and duration of dopamine activity in the brain. but a delayed reward increases it. the longer you make a man wait the more excited and thrilled he’ll be about finally getting that reward.
stop giving yourself away to guys who are only using you to get off and then have no intention of ever seeing you again. why would they want to see you again? theyve had all they can and the thrill of the chase is over. men instictinvely desire a chase. And, they know you dont value yourself very much because you just showed them you dont because you gave yourself so easily and proved you dont think youre even worth a chase and dont deserve to be sought after, even for atleast a week or so.
yea, one night stands satisfy sexual appetites, but women arent made to have one night stands because women get attached easily after sex. men dont, so they’ll easily take the offer if you give it to them.
women need to stop being so easy. make the guy work for once. arent you worth it?
and make him work more than buying you a few drinks. why do you think he does that in the first place?
Despite the highly disturbing pic(eek!) A little casual sex never hurt anyone! Just remember to be smart/safe.
actually…my fiancee and i hooked up on our ‘first date’ but not the first time we actually MET. so whoever said sleeping with a dude right away won’t make them go crazy about you- i disagree. actually…our sex was so mind blowing it made us crave each other all day.
i don’t do 1 night stands…for a man to really pleasure a woman he has to learn her body. drunk sex lasts 1 night (sometimes 15 or less min) so i don’t really see any anticipatory factors in that kind of thing.
Dear Easy,
It really grosses me out that you think you have to consider yourself a prize and make a man work for sex. When you say things like “Don’t you think you’re worth it?”, you put sex as something enjoyable only in a man’s hands. You will never know if a guy really liked you for your personality and mind this way…you’ll only know that you teased him well and made him stick around for sex.
“..be smart/safe” ??
Wth, what is smart OR safe about casual sex.
So sad what this world is coming to..
I personally am a fan, but that’s because I don’t really have the time nor desire to invest a lot in a guy. So low investment high return sounds like a winner to me!
I totally disagree with you. Sex isn’t something to throw around to random guys you’ll never see again. It takes away from the meaning sex will have when you are with someone you love.
sex without chemistry and intimacy is just exercise… but .. nothing wrong with exercising, its just a mere exchange of bodily fluids, really, if you think about it.. its not much different than sharing the same drink… heck if you make out with someone… you stick your tongue in their mouth, if you f** them, you stick your penis in them.. its just a different organ in a different place… but the net net is the same.. sure it feels a heck of a lot better
YAAAAAAAAAAA… ALL CHICKS SHOULD BE SLUTTIER … more BLOW JOBS… make the world a better place to live in
next time you see a hot chick and are afraid to approach, close your eyes, and remind yourself,… that she has COCK IN HER MOUTH last night from the increased One night stands.. so … nothing to fear.. go ask her what her name is and if she wants more cock
Stephanie…
Smart- If you think something sounds fishy(If he seems a little creepy) don’t do it, no matter how drunk you are. Stay away from assholes like the ones above *cough cough jc and dz cough cough*
Safe- Use a condom.
It’s funny that girls can be deemed slutty for a couple of one night stands, but in this day and age guys are STILL not looked at as sluts or hos.
i’m sorry but does this girl write about anything other than promiscuous sex & why guys don’t call her/don’t like her/are assholes in general? hmm, maybe these two topics are related somehow….just sayin.
…Why would you sleep with a random guy?And what if you get pregnant?
promiscuity does not equal liberation, but the freedom to either be promiscuous or not promiscuous without social consequence does. im not into one night stands, but im not going to harass the author for doing so, just because its her choice and she has the freedom to do what she wants. men arent subject to the same social roles as women are concerning sexuality, and i think that it is completely absurd that whenever a college candy author writes about sex the female-only sexual insults have to arise.
Seems to me that we (girls) aren’t exactly engineered for one-night stands. I can’t help it sometimes, either, but on the whole I’m with Easy- I don’t think considering your own worth is gross. My heart takes a hit when I give myself away. Even when I pretend I don’t care. In my opinion, things like one-night stands are our attempts to feel in control, to pacify ourselves short-term when what we really want is (cliche dead ahead!) love.
people put too much on sex. Who what when where and why all have to be ‘perfect’. Bletch. Get over it its just a column. Let people live.
Lauren, your posts are effin hi-larious!
even if i’m not into the one night stand idea with a stranger, i have hooked up with a casual friend for the “low-investment-high-return” concept.
it’s one girls right to enjoy sex with strangers just like its another girls right to hold out till marriage.
I don’t know what to think about this post. As someone who is in a pretty solid relationship, I disagree with the idea of sleeping around when single. I only slept with two guys before I got together with my current boyfriend, and I still wish that he had been my first. Maybe I’m an over-emotional dork, but I it feels like it would have meant so much more to the both of us if we hadn’t slept with other people beforehand. I in now way endorse saving yourself until marriage, though…that shit’s just stupid.
On the other hand, the feminist in me says, “YEAH! Men sleep around all they want, why can’t women?!” The concept that you should “make a man wait” seems old-fashioned and definitely out of style. I’m sure I could go much deeper into how a woman’s chastity can further destroy our equal rights, but I’m too tired.
Like, I said…I’m torn.
I guess the difference is..us girls are literally letting people inside of us. And, I don’t know, the thought of tons of guys having been inside me, is, for lack of a better word..icky. That’s just me though.
The only good sex is the consensual kind, where everybody involved agrees to what the outcome is going to be Sure, saving sex until you find Mr. or Ms. Right is great, but a consensual one night stand can be beautiful too! As long as the expectations are mutual, it’s all good.
OH EASY:
“yea, one night stands satisfy sexual appetites, but women arent made to have one night stands because women get attached easily after sex. men dont, so they’ll easily take the offer if you give it to them.”
-This is possibly one of the most retarded things I’ve ever heard. I have had several experiences where the man becomes very attached and I am totally aloof.
“if you sleep with a man right away, you throw away your best chance of making him become absolutely crazy about you.”
–There are several wrong things in this statement. 1. I don’t want to date a guy because he is crazy about the SEX WE HAD. If you think sex is the way to make a guy crazy for you, you are so mistaken. 2. The point of a one-night-stand is SEX. in fact, I’d be rather annoyed if my ONS became crazy about me. The point is no-strings attached.
On a side note, Jacks, you said “condoms aren’t 100%…..If you aren’t on birth control, they’re only like 70% effective against pregnancy.”
-You need to check your facts dude. Don’t go telling people info if you don’t know yourself.
“The breakage rate for condoms is two out of 100. Of every 100 couples who use condoms incorrectly and inconsistently, 15 will experience a pregnancy during the first year of use. Of every 100 couples who use condoms correctly and consistently, only two will experience a pregnancy.”n(http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/condoms/HQ00463
So don’t let her put it on with her teeth and you’ll be ok.
All those 5 stated reasons dont apply to me.
First of all, sex is definitely an “expectation”. So it kills rule number 1
“All those crazy positions” require time and effort people and one night stands are not able to deliver those requirements.
“Its a good story”. Well, I would rather say “relativity”.
“No late night food”… How about right after sex?
“Practice makes it perfect” Random practice when you are fully drunk makes nothing perfect just makes you junk.
When one needs intimacy and a little bit of love to do some stuff one night stands are nightmares.
However, if you say hell with the intimacy and love I just want a little fun and I am sure I wont be disgusted with myself in the morning.. then go for it.
one night stands are great but aren’t the solution to lack of relationship. yes it does cure the loneliness ills but only for a temporary period of time and (this is from experience) can go horribly wrong. if you are going to be fucking random people why not save $2 dollars on condoms from Durex.
check it out at www.studyandscore.com
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