We all know that it’s horribly wrong to hook up with your friend’s boyfriend. Or the guy she likes. Or the guy she hooks up with every weekend. But when exactly does a guy from your friend’s past come back onto the market? It’s easy to say that exes are off limits, but in today’s relationship scene, where hooking up is more common than actual dating, it’s tough to draw exact boundaries.

I have a friend who “claims” guys. She sees him, she likes him, she claims him; and that’s it, no one else can ever touch him (even if nothing happened between them).  I have other friends who have all hooked up with the same guys and have no qualms about discussing it with each other. Both of these are extremes — but what makes girls think they have the right to “claim” a guy in the first place? Why should you be able to dictate who a guy you had no serious emotional connection to dates?

The truth is that girls (and guys to an extent) are just jealous of each other by nature.Even though you can see that it’s perfectly reasonable for your friend to hook up with the guy you had a crush on last year, you will probably still feel a little funny about it. Maybe a small part of you wishes that he had picked you — or maybe you have a hard time watching your friend to get what you couldn’t.

So when do you draw the line? Is it selfish to keep someone from your past off limits to your friends just because it will make you feel a little better about yourself? Or is it wrong of your friend to even think about touching a guy you’ve had any history with?

I think it all depends on the situation. For example, if it was a drunken hook-up at a random party three years ago, then your friend shouldn’t even have to ask your permission. If it was a guy you casually dated for a week, your friend should at least give you a heads up so you don’t feel shocked when you run into them together or see pics of them making out at a party on Facebook.

Whatever you do, just don’t pull a Stephanie Pratt and hide your actions from your friends. You’ll just end up regretting it and maybe ruining your friendship. No random hook-up is worth that.