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Don’t Do Long Distance in College!

23959413.jpgOkay, okay, I may be a bit biased on this topic, due to my heartbreak three years ago at the end of my freshman year of college. But every year around this time, I get a little nostalgic about this issue.

All of my first year, I dated a boy from high school who went to college 14 hours away from me, and we somehow managed to make it through the whole year with visits, emails, and a hefty phone bill. I could not wait to get home for the summer and live in the same town again. But, upon returning, it was evident that things were different between us and he broke up with me. I was devastated and could not understand why this had happened. What did I do wrong?

The thing that I wish someone had told me originally is that, in college, people CHANGE, in some way or another, no matter what. And that’s not always a bad thing! I know I have grown into who I am over these four years and feel confident in what I want to do with my life and how I will get there.

Needless to say, If I had been at the same school as the “heartbreaker”, I may have seen some of these changes earlier on and realized he wasn’t someone I could be with long term. Pouring my energy into a long distance relationship took away from energy that could have been spent forming new friendships and taking in everything my college had to offer. For a guy’s hilarious view on long distance relationships, and how people will change, check out this column on collegehumor.com.

Now, I realize there are exceptions and if you are one of those: Congrats, I applaude your ability to make it work throughout the roller coaster that is college. But, I would bet that you missed out on at least a few crazy nights out with the girls for it. Was it worth it?

Who knows, but as someone who has been through it before, I say it’s not in the long run and you should actually enjoy your time at college, instead of sitting alone in your dorm room on the phone with your significant other each night. If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out, and you don’t need to worry yourself over it during the greatest four years of your life, aka college.

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5 Comments

  1. Devon says :

    I’m finishing up my senior year of university, which also marks the third year of a fantastic long-distance relationship. No, I haven’t given up any “crazy nights out with the girls”, and he hasn’t given up any guy nights either. If your relationship can’t survive distance then your relationship isn’t really worth anything in the long run anyways. The people who manage to make their relationship work long-distance are the people who realize that their significant other is the person they’re going to be with for the rest of their lives, and that’s why it’s worth sticking with it. So yes, I agree with you that it’s not worth it - IF you’re not with the right guy.

  2. Ashanti M says :

    It is so true. People deffinatly change in college, its called growing into the person they are and will be! Its kinda scary.

    For a year and a half i was dating a guy who lived 8 hours away. Things where great but we decided to end it before he went to college. My cousin had warned me that people change. There is no better way to explain this. Its that simple fact.

    He came to NYC for the vacation and i could already see a difference. Its obvious to me that a few years from now, we wont connect as closely as we do.

  3. The Alex says :

    It’s so true. I tried my hardest to maintain a long distance relationship with my girlfriend when she left to go to college, but in the end it was the little problems I couldn’t overcome. Like her hot cousin whom I had sex with. Eight times. Eventually she found out, and as payback she got herself pregnant by one of my best friends, so now he never has enough money to go out drinking with me because he has to pay his babymomma every week. Now he’s pro-choice.

  4. Lin says :

    That’s a disgusting story.

  5. brenda says :

    i agree with Lin

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