I’m having a Sex and the City déjà vu moment. I was watching the episode where Miranda decides that she’ll buy all new bed sheets under the theory that if her bed is a place she wants to be, then others will want to be there too. Or as Carrie put it, “if you build it, he will cum.” So, with that said, I head over to Bed, Bath & Beyond and decide that my even though my current sheets are white, fabulous and 800 thread-count, they are starting to look a little dingy and it’s time to invest in a new set. I’m plowing through the sheets…too green, too thick, too thin, too ugly, 250 thread-count…you must be joking…and I’m starting to realize that I’m just as picky with my sheets as I am with men!

It was just then that this amazingly hot, tall, sexy man appeared and was also eyeing the 600 thread-count white sateen cotton sheets that were on sale for $75 from $100…love. He must be gay. There’s no way that this perfect man could appear out of nowhere, be super hot AND have good taste. Not possible. Gay, gay, gay. He looks at me kinda funny. Ok, not gay. Young? Married? Nah. The now present possibility that this man could actually be my new boyfriend was filling my head. I mean, how CUTE would it be to tell our future children how we met at Bed, Bath & Beyond while shopping for expensive sheets?! I’m reminded of the other episode of Sex and the City where Carrie gets caught in the rain and ends up taking cover under an awning with a cute stranger…she makes a comment about how they can tell their grandkids about the time they met in the rain under the awning and the man looks terrified and basically runs away. With this new thought running through my head, I decided to give Mr. sheets a little space and some time to ponder how he’s going to hit on me. Yeah, that didn’t happen. Lessons learned – TV is NOT real and STILL can not pick up men while shopping for sheets. The end.