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There is nothing better than meeting – and totally loving – your friend’s boyfriend. You may not think so consciously, but I know deep down everyone fears that they will absolutely hate the boy their best friend falls for.
Either that he will be totally ogre-ish with a unibrow or chest hair that just doesn’t end, or a total dick with pink popped collars and a bracelet. Or, even worse, just an all around asshole.
So when you finally meet the boy of your friend’s dreams and he is totally awesome, it is always cause for one big giant sigh of relief (followed by a night on the town; he probably has awesome friends too, right?).
Well, not always. Not if, like me, you find yourself not only obsessed with friend’s boyfriend, but maybe a teensy tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit in love with him yourself. That, my friends, is just one craptastic situation.
And it’s not like I wanted it to be this way. I didn’t choose to meet my friend’s man and instantly start drooling and babbling like Brit Brit at the VMA’s. I didn’t choose to go to sleep after meeting him and having an oh-so inappropriate dream about him. And I most definitely did not choose for my friend to date the man of my f*cking dreams.
But it happened. After my years and years of scouting for Mr. Right, my friend went and found him for herself. What is worse - he isn’t even her Mr. Right! She is usually more into the mountain man granola dude; not the tall, dark, handsome and totally f*cking perfect dude. And she’s short, damnit! I am 5’10! Where are all the tall guys for me, huh!?
I try to be good, I really do, but sometimes (read: when alcohol is involved) I can’t help but flirt my little face off. It’s not that I want to steal this guy away from my friend – I could never – but put a piece of red velvet cake in front of me and I am gonna dip my finger in the ooey, gooey, deliciously creamy cream cheese frosting.
But I don’t eat the cake. I don’t even try to sneak a little taste. Because as much as I want to tear this guys clothes off and live happily ever after, I could never do that to my friend. I guess I am either going to have to suck it up and deal with the NSFS (Not Suitable for Sharing) dreams I can’t escape, or start spending time with some new friends. Who don’t have boyfriends I wanna pounce on.
Hating my friends’ boyfriends doesn’t look so bad anymore.
5 Comments
Not for nothing, but would anyone really hate their friend’s boyfriend just because he had a bunch of chest hair???
Andrew buddy you don’t get chicks. They don’t get to choose whether or not they dislike the guy with chest hair. They simply do. Or maybe don’t. But logic is not even in the picture. The preferences are preprogrammed into them- if they think about what they should do, what’s right or fair, what’s good for them, they go crazy ’cause so much of the time that answer doesn’t match the unreasoned “intuition” to which they’re enslaved. Like for example going crazy really wanting to f*ck your freind’s guy and knowing how wrong it would be. Thank God for the liberating effects of Mojitos which have the power to deliver us all from this delimma. Lauren honey there was a popular song in the ’70’s designed to resolve just this problem: “If you can’t be… with the one you love…Love the one you’re with!” So have a couple of Mojitos, make one of us less-than-perfect hairy chested guys very happy, get yourself some releif. We won’t even mind too much if you close your eyes and slip back into a NSFS moment while you do it, honest.
Andrew, you are a hairy guy, aren’t you?
I am, and as far as I know, none of my ex’s friends ever hated me just because I have body hair…
The only reason I asked the question in the first place is because you didn’t talk about not being attracted to your best friend’s boy, you talked about hating him because “Either that he will be totally ogre-ish with a unibrow or chest hair that just doesn’t end…”
You’re not attracted to your girl’s boy because he’s hairy, that’s one thing. But to hate him because of that? Isn’t that a little much?
Andrew, I get where your coming from. Woman can be cruel to men who have chest hair. Getting back to the post…I have always been the girl who has the “boyfriend” my friends like. It’s hard because my guys are tall, dark and handsome. Friends of mine who are attractive just don’t usually end up with the type of men I do, and they do try to “not like him” or “not flirt so much” but it sucks for me…because it makes me wonder would they do something if he was up for it. Now I trust my guy and my girls, but it’s sad when your girlfriends “flirt” with your guy. So LADIES try to stay away, get your own tall, dark and handsome, stop trying to stare at mine.
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