On a particularly uneventful night my senior year, I went to the bar to grab a few drinks with some friends. We were sitting there (looking fabulous) minding our own business when a man approached. Personally, I am not a fan of thick neck hair or large ears, so I turned away and gave my cocktail some much needed attention. It seems that, in the throws of serious intoxication, one of my friends seemed to be quite taken by this man.

She chatted with him, had a few more drinks, and eventually (while running her hands through his thick, luxurious neck hair) leaned in close and whispered, “I think we are gonna go.”

After spitting Apple Martini all over the unsuspecting male perched on the bar stool beside me, I attempted to gather my thoughts. Here was one of my closest friends, someone I care deeply about, making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Sure he looks good now (though I can’t fathom what she thinks she is looking at), but what is my friend going to do in the morning when she rolls over and finds Chewbacca in bed with her? I couldn’t possibly let that happen; it could scar her for life.

So, I did what any good girlfriend would do: I told her that I had to puke and made her take me home, leaving Furry McElephantEars to fend for himself.

At the time (and to this day) I thought that was the best plan. Friends help friends, and this friend clearly needed my help. After speaking with a few of my guy friends, though, I was informed that this could not be further from the truth. According to some of the men that I know – and they are a mighty fine breed of men – stopping a girl from going home with a man, no matter what the reasoning is, is in violation of Friendship Rule #109: The Cock Blocking Rule. It is not acceptable to stop anyone from getting some and doing so makes you an enemy, not a friend. According the men in my life, college is all about learning, and we all know that the best lessons come from mistakes we have made. No matter how furry.

The more I listened to what these boys had to say, the more I began to understand where they were coming from. We never see a guy stopping on of his boys from taking an ugly girl home; she may have some major junk in the trunk and a nappy braid that looks like it hasn’t seen shampoo since 1978, but all girls look the same when 1) the lights are off, and 2) you are staring at the top of her head. Yes, he may regret it in the morning, but he didn’t regret it in the cab, on the couch, or in the shower.

All this information has made me question just who is the better friend: the girls who save their friends from embarrassment in the morning, or the guys who will never let anything keep their friends from getting some? But, after contemplating it all, I think that guys actually have it right; friendship is about making sure your friends are happy, and nothing says happy like multiple orgasms.

So from now on I will let my girls leave the bar with Chewbacca look-alikes and watch them figure out how to get rid of them (and all memories of their night together) in the morning. Well, being the good friend that I am, I may even help with the evacuation.