Sometimes you need a little something like the holidays to give you an excuse to really…excel in the bedroom.

For those of you who have never delved into the whole sex toy thing don’t be alarmed. While the entire concept may seem seedy, it doesn’t have to be!This Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa…) take the plunge into the world of adult toys. Don’t know where to start? Allow us to guide the way:

Boditalks - $69.00 (hehe…)

The slogan here is “getting off while you’re on”. And it’s simple. Boditalks is simply a vibrator that is activated by the use of your cell phone and it only turns off once the call is ended.

Do you know how useful this would have been when I was in a long distance relationship? For the college girls who are, you owe this to yourself!

Sex Night Planner - $12.00

Maybe vibrators are a little too much for you. Or maybe you don’t need one (lucky). In that case, make it fun and set up how you want things and when with a Sex Night Planner. Similar to Magnetic Poetry, this planner will tell your guys all the very important specifics of what you want.

I’m thinking this will go over well with the compulsive English major types, no?

Freshman - $25.00

Picked not only because of it’s lovely collegiate name and low price but for it’s beginner setup, this is the perfect toy for the novice user. Its lifelike (well as lifelike as hot pink can be…) ridges resemble veins and according to consumer reviews has a soft, mellow vibe. Just be sure to upgrade sophomore year…

Just In Case Crystal Condom Compact - $199

Yes, $199 is expensive, especially just to carry some rubbers in. But this speciality case is an adorable way to stay safe. It’s always good to have protection on hand. And for those of us on a student budget, Just In Case makes simpler compacts (sans crystals) for just $24.95.

…and just to scare your boyfriend (or not?):

Nexus Vibo - $170

I’m sure he’ll love you for this one, ladies. Complete with a humongus fake phallus and a prostate stimulator (read: goes up the behind) I think you’re supposed to use this in tandem with your guy? I’m not sure…let me know.

Or don’t.

Remember have a Happy(er) Holiday (and stay safe)!