As I mentioned once before, I have issues with my birth control.
In fact, with all the horrible side effects like the migraines and weight gain I feel like the only reason the pill is even working is because it is preventing me from going out to find someone to have sex with. And I am not so sure that is how it is supposed to work.
I have attempted to stick it out for the past six months, but, considering I have been sans sex for quite some time, I am about ready to throw in the towel. My doctor – always the optimist – didn’t like that idea.
“Lauren, I know you joke about being a crazy cat woman, but you will have sex again someday and you might regret your decision to stop taking birth control.”
She had a point. Maybe one day I might again have the urge to do something besides catch up on my TiVo on a Friday night. You know; like go out and meet a man. And have sex. She recommended a different form of birth control that minimized the side effects that have been haunting me for months.
Unfortunately, this one presents a whole new slew of problems.
It is called the Nuva Ring and the name alone already grosses me out. Basically, this little guy is a plastic ring that is inserted into the va-jay-jay and left there for three weeks. While hanging out inside of your body, the ring dispenses a steady flow of hormones that prevent pregnancy. After three weeks, you take it out and get your period. Then you stick another one in.
Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but the idea of sticking the equivalent to the plastic thing that comes off when you open a gallon of milk inside of me and then leaving it there for three weeks is far from comforting. I don’t even know how to comprehend this. I have so many questions:
Where exactly does this thing end up?
Can my potential partner feel it during sex?
How do I know if it is working?
Most importantly, how the hell am I supposed to get that thing out!?
Also, since the heat of the body activates the ring to work, it must be stored in a cool place until it is time to use it. “Cool place” being the refrigerator. Because nothing says normal like a fridge stocked with beer, butter, bread and birth control.
I really don’t know what to do. I know I do not want migraines. I know I do not want to be fat. And I am absolutely positive that I do not want to be a mom. But I also know that I don’t want to stick my hand into my cervix every three weeks to fish out a pony tail holder.
Maybe my current state of celibacy is the way to go. I’ll see you at the Cat Emporium.
Have you ever tried an alternative form of birth control?
Loading …
10 Comments
The poll needs another option.
I tried the depo shot, and had breakthrough bleeding all the time which pretty much sucked, and theres evidence that it interferes with the absorption of calcium, and since there’s a family history of osteoporosis, I thought I’d skip that.
I have friends who are on the ring, and they love it, except for when their boyfriend likes to push it further in, making the fishing more… interesting.
And I’ve had other friends who did the patch route, but had allergy issues with the adhesive… So I guess it’s all a craps shoot.
I actually use the Nuva Ring and I love it! I’m really bad about taking pills everyday, so it works out great! To be technical, the ring sits right up against your cervix at the back of your vagina, so you can’t even feel it. I know the whole idea of shoving it up there is strange, but you get used to it. And the advantage of not having to think about it for 3 weeks is great! Its easy to get out, just stick your fingers in and pull it out.
People make it sound way worse that it actually is. Just being comfortable with your body is part of it. My boyfriend can only feel it sometimes, and only for a little bit, so its never an issue.
I haven’t had and bad side effects like I had with the patch (i got really sick off that, like puking sick). Anyways, I really recommend it to anyone that asks about it!
the ring is a great alternative to the pill…Honestly! it won’t dissapear into your body and float around in your stomach if thats your concern. Normally when you have intercourse it will come out, but that varies for everyone. You can leave the ring out for three hours @ a time and then re-insert it, and if your having sex for more than three hours… congratulations (f*** the BC haha). I didn’t gain wait, I didn’t have crazy mood swings, actually i didn’t have ne side effects at all. The only thing is retrieving it and inserting it does require you to put your finger in there…. which to me wasn’t a big deal, i mean it’s your body… don’t be scared of it!
i love the ring, give it a shot!
Please visit jesus is lord website.
Thank you.
Please visit jesus-is-lord website.
Thank you.
The pill, the nuva ring, all of this can cause cancer and infertility… anything that causes your body to stop doing what it naturally does can not be good for it. My estetician was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, her oncologise admitted to her that her BIRTH CONTROL PILL FED HER CANCER!! Yes, that’s right ladies- it caused it to grow and grow…. but doctors and drug companies don’t want to talk about it because there is too much MONEY to be LOST! do some research, talk to doctors that really care about women, and ask yourself what’s best for your body… not for your man!
Someone needs to get a little more comfortable with their body. I mean, do you REALLY have an issue putting your hand in your vagina? WHy is it so scary? It’s just a hole in your body, and a pretty clean one at that- cleaner than your mouth, and I know you stick your fingers in there.
And where do you think the ring would go? Do you have any concept of female anatomy?
Maybe you should go masturbate, or at least look at your vulva for a while before you even think about having sex.
I think some people should cool it down there… some of those comments are people almost flying off the handle for next to no reason.
And don’t think I don’t know about all the bad things you can get from b/c. Cancer, etc. I already knew that… just sayin… chill up there, it’s all good.
It’s really the best birth control I’ve ever used. No weight gain, no daily pill, and it can give you the option of having fewer or no periods (the medication in the ring is actually good for 4 weeks and if you don’t want your period you just insert a new one after 4 weeks). Guys never feel it, but if that was an issue you have the option of taking and leaving it out for up to 2 hours and it will still be effective. Best gyno suggestion ever.
To Liz-
There are definately risks involved with BC, however most are minor. That is why you should talk to your doctor to figure out which form of BC is best for you. Everyone’s body is different and responds to different things. The people who experience major side effects of hormonal BC generally do not disclose everything they should to their doctor or they misuse their BC. Don’t assume that BC is bad, or ineffective. Comments like yours sound just like the protesters that stand outside of the Planned Parenthood.
Post a Comment