In the past 2 weeks I have gone home from the bar with 4 different guys.

But my inability to meet a man worthy more than a few hours of awkward conversation and a long walk of shame (among other things….) is not the point of this rant. The fact that all four guys had one major thing in common is. What do they have in common, you ask?

No, not an oversized bald spot (only one had that). Or small packages (I wouldn’t know after one date…I am no hussy! Ok, maybe I do know, but I will not be sharing that here.)

The element that tied them all together: an obsession with American Idol. That’s weird, isn’t it? I mean, what guys want to watch a show where people sing cheesy love songs? Shouldn’t they be watching basketball…or porn??

After stumbling home from the bar and falling drunkenly into my bed, boy number one began the obligatory “I am not here only for some booty, so I will have a two hour conversation with you and then kiss you” conversation. I already hate those long talks as it is – I mean, we both know why we are here – but I played along. His very first question was, “so, who do you think is gonna win American Idol this year?”

Scrrrrr. WHAT?

And it got worse: twenty minutes later I had been lectured on the merits of all remaining contestants. Were we really discussing the pros and cons of Lakisha…in my BED?

I stopped the conversation there, finished what we originally came there to start and moved on, happy to be rid of the president of the Simon Cowell fan club. But two days later, I found another boy just as obsessed.

And then another.
And another.

And these guys weren’t feminine (as you would suspect). Nor were they young. In fact, two of them were law students! I found this fascinating. Here I was thinking that only 12 year old girls and 56 year old women (my mother included) watched American Idol. Turns out, 24 year old drunken frat boys do as well.