I am crossing my fingers my boyfriend will never read this post, because I have a confession to make: I didn’t think he was hot the first time I saw him. Come to think of it, I didn’t think he was hot the second time I saw him, either. Or the third time. Or… well, you get the picture.

The point is, I think he’s hot now. But I’m not sure I would have come to that thought without the hours I’ve spent hanging out with him, laughing at his jokes and learning more about what makes him tick. Yeah, I think he’s good-looking, but that definitely wasn’t the first thing I noticed about him.

So I guess that means he’s grown on me. In fact, I’m positive he’s grown on me, because I didn’t even want to go out with him the first time he asked me. I didn’t have anything more than a mini-crush on him at the time, and he had to pester me almost nonstop for three days straight before I finally agreed to be his girlfriend, just to get rid of him.

Two and a half years later, you can see that strategy kind of backfired on me.

A few days after my boyfriend and I started going out, I was walking down the street with one of his close friends. “I just can’t believe you’re going out with him,” she said. “Not that people wouldn’t want to—just that, well, I’ve never thought about him in that way.”

I didn’t mention it to her at the time, but even though he was my brand-new boyfriend, I didn’t think about him in that way, either.

All of this is probably making me sound terribly inconsiderate and my boyfriend terribly pitiful. That’s really not the case… I swear! He really is handsome and wonderful, and quite a few girls have fallen at his feet in the time we’ve been together. And I… well, I don’t have as valid of an excuse for myself, but I wasn’t trying to lead him on way back then. He was just so persistent that saying no ceased to be an option (and trust me, I’m not someone who’s easily persuaded). I did care about him, and I loved being with him, but I didn’t think he was particularly attractive, and I didn’t see any kind of future in the relationship.

Clearly, I was wrong. And that’s the amazing part—guys can grow on you. Sparks don’t have to fly right away, and it doesn’t have to be love at first sight. Casual dating isn’t for everyone, but it might be a good idea to give the person you don’t think you’re very interested in a few dates with you just so you can confirm that lack of interest. If it’s not working out, it’s not working out. But if things change… well, then you’ll be pretty glad you chose to give the dude a chance.

And a note to my boyfriend, in case he is reading this: You’re HOT! I don’t know how I could have ever thought otherwise.