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I’m not sold on the idea of having a soulmate. And I’m not NOT sold on it, either. BUT, when a guy refers to me as his “soulmate”, am I out of line to think that he might well, you know, like me as more than a friend? Right. I totally agree. I would not be out of line to think that. So let me tell you a story.
Not all that long ago, I started a romantic fling with a guy who I kinda sorta knew. I wasn’t all that taken into him physically, but emotionally…I couldn’t help it. I mean, I tried not to be, but with every single conversation we had…he baited me with compliments and bathed me in pet names.
He made me mix cds, sent me flowers, wrote me songs, and made me paintings. All within the first three weeks. And I KNOW, this should be a bad sign. I KNOW, these kinds of things should take TIME to develop…but I can’t help it! I like to feel things right away! I’m intense and spontaneous, so maybe I deserve all of the nightmare that is to come with this story.
Anyway, I was under the impression that things were going pretty well. But then he would tell me about dates with other girls. And this was fine. Really, I mean I was, after all, still going on dates with other guys. But then would come the heavily emotional talks until 7am and then the DAYS without talking. The night after he told me that he thought I was his soulmate, we then went four full days without any contact whatsoever. Not even a text.
I was confused.
And the night that he told me he was falling in love with me…he also refused to have sex with me. He would do EVERYthing else, but sex, he said, would totally kill our connection. His distance grew and I finally sat him down to ask what the f&*k was up. He told me that we were soulmates. (He knows this HOW…I am not sure. Maybe he found some soulmate connecting the dots kinda book on Ebay and our names line up. I don’t freaking know.) He also told me that he could not be my “lover”.
Please tell me: How is licking a girls’ vajayjay for hours on end any less intimate than having sex? How can you be falling in love with someone who you can ignore for days on end? Why wouldn’t my soulmate f*&k me?!
6 Comments
Wow. I have so been there. I feel for you, but am also glad I am not the only one to get such seriously mixed messages from a guy. He is really confusing, but until he is ready to commit/move things forward, I would proceed with caution. I don’t want to be cliche, but if he doesn’t pursue you or commit to you, he is not that into you.
a man of my past explained the same thing to me via this websyte
http://iasos.com/metaphys/3d-4d/
Catholic guilt
fun and interested! share it with STDromance.com friends. If you have std, we can share
I read that website above. Why can’t we have 5D relationships? Ones wherein we are aware of all of the truths behind 4D relationships, but still choose to be monogamous, regardless? Hmm…
I read that website and have an issue with the non-expectation thing. I’m quite liberal, but monogamy has its benefits, particularly when there’s STDs out there. To to choose monogamy for yourself, but to agree that the other person can do whatever they want, doesn’t make sense. Why should *you* get a disease, or worse, when you can avoid it by having the expectation that your partner will sleep with noone but you? Some things are unpleasant- best avoid them. There’s a difference between being afraid that something’s going to happen to you, and simply not wanting it to happen to you because you don’t like it and simply don’t want to deal with it.
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