So, the other day, while at work and totally bored, I came across a surprisingly good article, especially since it’s from Marie Claire, which is generally totally vapid.

The author of the article had a strange family (read: possible incest? he’s not sure) and he’d lost touch with his sister, who only called his mother once in a while to report that she had some fabulous job.

And then…he saw his sister’s picture in a porn magazine.

It all spiraled down from there. Guilt. Embarrassment. Horror. I mean, you name it. What struck me the most, however, was the sister’s relationship to her family in relation to what she did. She basically just disappeared from sight.

At first, I thought that was pretty awful of her. I mean, she should at least give her family the chance to understand, right? Shouldn’t she give them the opportunity to show her that they love her no matter what she does?

But then I got to thinking what it must be like to be a pornstar. Imagine people recognizing you on the street and knowing what you look like underneath that crisp interview suit? Imagine them eyeing you while you’re on a date at some nice candlelit restaurant?

And of course some people get off on that. I totally get it. I can be somewhat of an exhibitionist myself…But how would a pornstar relate to her family? Specifically her father?

I know it sounds weird and old fashioned and gross, but your father forms your idea of men, right? He’s the male figure you hold all men against. So if you’re having sex for money (or fame), how do you look your dad in the eye and say, “It has nothing to do with you?”

To be honest, if I was doing porn, I think I’d lie about it. Like the girl in the article, I’d probably make up jobs to account for my income. And if I were discovered by a family member, I am almost positive I would disappear too. I can’t imagine a way that I would tell my parents I was doing porn that wouldn’t completely hurt their feelings, after all these years of working to give me a better life than they had. Which is what parents generally try to do.

I don’t have any moral objection to being a porn star. In fact, for some women, it’s probably as good as it’s gonna get [provided the sex is safe sex]. But how, how, how do you deal with your family?