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I dated my first boyfriend for almost two full years, but I hated the way he kissed.
Somehow, I feel like I’m not alone. In fact of all the guys I’ve kissed—I’m trying to count in my head as I write this—I can only think of one or two that have really kissed well.
Part of my problem, yes, was that I was way too spineless to bring up the fact that I didn’t like how my boyfriends kissed. But seriously, how do you even broach a topic like that? “By the way, I hate the way you kiss”? I don’t think so!
I guess if I had given it some serious thought, I could have brought the subject up tactfully, or given my guys an example of great kissing and then said something like, “Hey, why don’t we try this for a while?”
But that’s not the point of this post. The point of this post is that, I think, a lot of girls are unhappy with the way their boyfriends kiss.
My first boyfriend was The Slobberer. I had to literally suck up his excess saliva because otherwise it would have dribbled down my chin. That is, needless to say, disgusting. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t judge, but the other part of me is screaming, “Can’t you get your spit under control? I mean, seriously!”
I also dated another guy who seemed to feel it was his mission in life to completely encompass my own mouth with his. It was like being devoured, and not in a positive way. Every time he went in for the kill, I felt like I was about to be pulled into a Venus flytrap.
Since I’ve been in a steady relationship for so long now, I sometimes forget that it can take an eternity to get used to different kissing styles.
I tend to be more likely to fall for a person first, then become physically attracted to him, so it’s not a deal-breaker for me if a guy is a terrible kisser. But it sure would be nice if all guys had to take Kissing 101 as freshmen in high school or something.
Who’s with me???
6 Comments
i think the most misunderstood thing, is that most guys really enjoy criticism, as long as it is positive and constructive and not just “geese, do you ever swallow your spit or just let it all flow out?!!”
The point is there isn’t a kissing 101, and if there was, we WOULD all have taken it. So let us know what you like, what you want, and I’m sure he will make the changes. If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t deserve you.
So stop complaining, and start critiquing!
but be prepared for him to offer some tips too!
this may sound overly cheesy, but i really think kissing is important and shows whether or not you have a connection to that person. i never thought this untill i looked back like you and worked out which of the guys id kissed i had actually enjoyed and the answer was staring me in the face: guys that were all wrong for me and with-whom the relationship went nowhere were the (in my opinion) bad kissers, ive never actually felt a deep connection with someone who didnt blow my mind with their kisses. (like my current boyfriend :P)
How can you date someone for 2 years and not tell them that they suck at kissing? I had a boyfriend who slobbered a lot and told him when he didnt fix it I dumbed him. A man is not “the one” if he cant kiss. Although I have not had too many problems with finding a good kisser. My ex husband and my current boyfriend are both amazing kissers!
I agree with Zoe Kissing does show how much of a connection you have with someone. If you have a guy you feel sucks at kissing then you have no connection plain and simple.
Has anyone ever run across a guy who just plain doesnt really like to kiss? thats a bad sign for sure….
i can say that ive experienced that whole “enveloping of the mouth” thing though. Instead of being romantic i feel like im gonna suffocate… What about guys who cant take critism very well?
I learned to kiss from a very sweet, and extraordinarily attractive young lady when I was of the advanced age of 17. Whilst I was a very shy and inexperienced lad, said young lady was quite a bit more experienced even though a few years younger.
So when she noticed my nervousness and awkwardness at kissing (she really did want make-out with me, and wanted me to do it right) she told me very sweetly to kiss her the way that I wanted to be kissed. She then demonstrated some of the most wonderful kissing techniques, some of which I emulated, some of which I ignored, and others which I used as an idea for something a little different.
I learned a valuable lesson that night. Do what you’d like done to you. Kiss with empathy. Connect with your partner with something other than your lips first. Then, kissing can be wonderful.
So for you who stuck it out with a BF for 2 years hating the way he kissed… why ever keep him for a BF??? Get some one who Gets You. Get it?
I think the biggest problem with “anything, kissing, sex, etc.. is communication.. if you really want to get better kisses you should def say something about it to your bf. no ones perfect at everyting, and who knows maybe he will open up and tell you somthing that bothers him about you. kill 2 birsd with one stone.. Communicate if you want it to work : )
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