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Post-college geeks aren’t the same as in-college geeks. These aren’t hipster boys who wear horn-rimmed glasses or cardigans with elbow patches. These boys aren’t geek chic. Post-college geeks are a special breed of boy. They are the freaks from Freaks & Geeks, and not in an ironic way. They played Dungeons & Dragons in high school (and maybe still secretly do) and can name all the aliens that appear in the Mos Eisley Cantina in “Star Wars.”
And they’re surprisingly date-able.
I sat down the other night with two of my geekiest friends, Patrick and Jeff (not their real names), to discuss geek love. I asked them why a girl should date a geeky guy, and they gave me an intricate look at the geek lifestyle and how it translates into relationships.
First, we lay down the definition of a geek. They explain to me the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork. In their opinion, dorks and nerds are both socially awkward beings –– dorks because they’re too dumb and nerds because they’re too smart. A geek, on the other hand, is the perfect specimen.
“How do you approach a girl you have a crush on?” I ask.
“I do that?” Patrick asks back. Jeff explains to me that geeky guys don’t approach girls they like in order to ask them out. Out of a fear of rejection, they try to be friends first. I ask the guys how well this works out, they agree: not well.
Patrick tells me: “In high school [Jeff] pitched to me the idea of Dungeons & Dragons because he said girls would be there.” I ask Patrick if this worked out and he just gives me a what-do-you-think? look.
According to Patrick and Jeff, geeks are the perfect boyfriends for three main reasons: they are sweet, loyal and smart. It only makes sense that the same guy who memorizes a hundred Star War’s alien species will remember every last detail about his girlfriend and her love for all things Gossip Girl. And the imaginative guy that plays games like D & D (Dungeons and Dragons, for all you non-geeks out there) will also be the guy who comes up with adorable date/gift ideas…and maybe some awesome role-playing in the bedroom. Rar.
“God doesn’t give with both hands,” the old cliché goes. I firmly believe this. In my ten-odd years of dating, I’ve learned that the prettier and more charming the boy, the more vapid the boy’s brain. Those of us not blessed with fashion model looks or disarming charm had to develop (gasp!) personalities to compensate.
Geeks have personality in droves, and the coping mechanisms they developed in high school help them considerably in relationships. They weren’t the most popular kids in school (duh), and their after-school activities weren’t considered cool (audio visual club, etc.), so they formed tight cliques with like-minded friends, thus developing their loyalty. Geeky boys also had to rely on humor to survive; who could make fun of them when they were making fun of themselves first?
All the qualities that make a geek a geek also make a geek a good boyfriend. What girl doesn’t want a sweet, loyal, imaginative, romantic, funny guy who can also fix her computer and explain how a supernova forms? So, while you might have been glued to the football field bleachers in high school searching for the perfect boyfriend, now that you’re out of school it’s time to move away from the jocks and towards the geeks.
The relationship will be far more rewarding.
[Photo courtesy of hollywoodjesus.com]
8 Comments
Why wait till you’re out of school to do this? We want relationships as young people, not just as adults. Please give us this!
This is so true. Geeks just need a little confidence to attract us. They still don’t have to be the ones to make the first move, but just having a quiet sense of their awesomeness does the trick. We just don’t want to date someone who doesn’t seem to like themselves.
One of the best boyfriends I’ve ever had was a geek and I met him on a dating website. His humor and great personality showed immediately but his looks were average. Turned out he was just hiding behind big unkempt hair and facial hair. Under that…hotness, in my opinion.
I absolutely agree with you, great piece. Geeky guys are sorely underrated- and you’re right about “not giving with both hands”. Its a generalization, but most geeky guys I know or have dated dwarf their good-looking counterparts in loyalty, sweetness and intelligence.
haha
this is interesting, considering that i am of the female variety and consider “geeks” to be the type of men i am most attracted to.
seriously, i would rather date a very intelligent, insightful, curteous guy than a vain, egotistical,stupid one.
i’m attracted to intelligence and insight.
i love that in a guy.
Geeks rule.
Geeks treat their girls like gold. Gotta love ‘em.
Totally true! I’m not a geek or a nerd. I’m an actress and model who’s dated other actors and models and they SUCK!! After being dumped by a male model I met on a shoot one day (he was bi-curious and dumped me for another male model), I’d decided enough was enough. I swallowed my pride and tried internet dating. After a couple months I found the sweetest, most loveable RPG, computer-savvy gamer “geek” with a lovely set of baby-blues.( He’s the kind of geek that always got the “just friends” line from girls, and usually got passed by… Those girls were STUPID!) And I’ve never been more in love in my entire life. He’s often told me he’s worried I might leave him for some handsome young costar, but he has no idea how wonderful he is in comparison to the typical egotistical pretty-boy trash I normally have to deal with. He tells me he feels so lucky to date someone like me, but I’M the lucky one!!
…And ooooooooh, what a lover…
Girls, take it from me, the geeks GOT IT GOIN ON!!
MMM! Geeks make me hot! I fuck geeks for hours straight and it feels so good! All you girls out there start fucking the shit out of the geeky guys, and the dorks and nerds for that matter, as soon as you can! They’re stallions in the bedroom and they want nothing more than to pleasure you for hours and hours of mind-blowing sex!
I agree… I really love “geeky” guys, always have. Love, love, love the way they are so about you and giving you everything you deserve as a woman and a person in general. They usually just need you to come onto them because they have a tendancy to be super shy!
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