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Exactly three months ago, I posted my first post here on CollegeCandy explaining to all of you that a guy I was dating, who told me I was his ’soul mate’, would not sleep with me. We all came to various conclusions as to why he’d behave like this. I let it go. And now I’m back to fill you in on what has happened since I let it go.
He and I kept in loose contact after deciding to end things. Very loose.
Then, I got a text from him about 3 weeks ago, out of nowhere. He was all torn up inside because he had (drunkenly, of course) deduced that I now hated him. And it made him sad. He sorta fell apart in the series of texts that followed. I imagined him lying on his bathroom floor in the fetal position. Finally, still considering him a friend, I invited him to call me if he wanted to talk. And so he did. He called me and we talked for over an hour about how his life has been crumbling before his own eyes.
He still hadn’t had sex, apparently, with anyone.
One conversation led to another; we kept talking more and more.
That same week he got wasted and ended up sleeping with a girl…and didn’t even remember it. All of that celibacy down the drain - wasted on a blackout, instead of what would have been meaningful sex with me. (Not to mention, mind blowing, thankyouverymuch.)
And then it came out:
He still had the same feelings for me.
And he regretted not sleeping with me, but he just couldn’t, but now….now he could and can and will…if I ever let him get that close to me again.
Whaaaaaaaat?! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Part of me wanted to hang up the phone, drive over to his house and do what I had wanted to do since…well, ever. But another part, a louder and more insistent part, held back.
He really hurt me the first time around. He broke my heart.
Everything was so much easier and more exciting the first time around. It is always that way before the big breakup. It’s like you are overly passionate because you have nothing to lose and you are willing to gamble all or nothing. Now, however, my emotions aren’t on the line with him anymore. And I don’t wanna gamble. I’ve already played that game - and lost.
I’m not necessarily opposed to sex for the sake of sex with him…but should I even bother? Is this a safe road to go down (again)?
[photo from: craveonline.com]
6 Comments
His morals are conflicting within him, your in the middle of it all as a possible solve or affliction to it all. You are somone he can love if he doesn’t love you already, and that can be scary to a man who is strong, sensitive, and passionate about a woman who has a lot of traits appealing to his being. There are plenty of factors still that we’re in the shadows about when it comes to your story that you may need to be wide eyed about as a sleuth, Its times like these you have to take yourself out of the equation and use your deduction skills as to what’s really going on… If he’s a subtle communicator, thats a sign that he feels even stronger about you and wants you to ace the conversation. Feel it out, people are amazing and complicated creatures. If your a potential woman for each others lifetime it would make no sense for him to treat you like the “blackout girl”. Be cool, curious, calm and collective. Not every response you have has to have an emotional kick to it. Try to show some reservation. Nothing is as sexy to a man than his wife.
Truthfully, I wouldn’t sleep with him. It seems like he didn’t feel you worthy of being his first, for whatever reason (which could very likely be he liked you so much he was afraid of letting you down), however, now that he has had his awkward first encounter with someone else…he’s NOW ready to be with you??
Personally, I’d remain friends, but don’t put yourself out there again. This guy is clearly unsure of his own life path and - not to sound meladramatic - BUT, if he broke your heart before you even slept with him, think of the damage he could do now.
Decision is your sister, just keep your eyes, ears and heart out for any warning signs.
No no no no no! If you really want sex for the sake of sex, find someone else. This will end badly, trust me! I’ve been down this road and it’s the wrong road to take. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache and keep your self-esteem and pride in tact if you block his number and walk away while you still have the chance. Good luck
you could be soulmates. Only you could know. Just have to feel it out.
he’s just had to learn his lesson about perfection. Can’t really find that with tainted western woman. He just has to realize he won’t be able to find a refined virgin well mannered wifey at short lengths. Tell me, is he ambitious…;)
Hey , have you ever had a pro file on Seek Rich.com? Someone tells me that you’re a cer tified million aire there with many nice photos. .Is it ture? Are you still there?
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